Posts Tagged With: American

Blueberry Cheesecake

Posted on October 20, 2024 by pauldelancey

American Dessert

­

BLUEBERRY CHEESECAKE

­
INGREDIENTS – CRUST
­
¼ cup butter
1 ¼ cups graham crackers, usually about 1 package
¼ cup sugar (1 cup and 6 tablespoons more  later)
­
INGREDIENTS – FILLING
­
4 8-ounce packages of cream cheese
5 eggs
1 cup white sugar
2 tablespoons cornstarch (1 tablespoon more later)
¼ teaspoon salt
­
INGREDIENTS – TOPPING
­
2½ cups, about a 16 ounce bag, of fresh or frozen blueberries
1 tablespoon cornstarch
1½ cups sour cream
6 tablespoons white sugar
½ teaspoon vanilla extract
¼ cup water
­­
SPECIAL UTENSILS
­
food processor
9″ * 12″ casserole dish
wire rack
­
PREPARATION – CRUST
­­
Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Use medium heat to melt butter. Turn the graham crackers into crumbs by using food processor. Pour the melted butter, crumbs, and ¼ cup sugar into casserole dish. Mix thoroughly with fork. Press firmly and uniformly on the mixture. Bake at 325 degrees for 10 minutes or until lightly browned. Cool on a wire.
­
PREPARATION – FILLING
­
Place cream cheese, eggs, 1 cup sugar, 2 tablespoons cornstarch, and salt into large mixing bowl. Use electric beater to combine ingredients. Start on lowest setting and gradually increase the speed of the beaters to the highest setting. (Your kitchen walls might resemble modern art if you immediately start with the highest setting.) Add to casserole dish. Bake for 70 minutes at 325 degrees or until cheese center barely moves when casserole dish is moved. Let dish cool down. Chill completely in refrigerator.
­­
PREPARATION – TOPPING
­­
Puree blueberries and 1 tablespoon cornstarch in food processor. Add to medium mixing bowl. Add sour cream, and 6 tablespoons sugar, vanilla extract, and water. Blend with fork or electric beater set at medium. Add this topping to saucepan. Bring to boil using medium-high heat. Stir constantly. Reduce heat to low-medium and simmer for about minutes. Stir constantly. Ladle topping onto cheesecake. Spread evenly with spatula. Refrigerate until chilled.
­
TIDBITS
­
1) Barbarian tribes used the cover of winter to repeatedly mount surprise invasions of China. “Let’s  pay attention,” said General Hua. “They can’t get past us if we’re ready.” But General Hua got fired for eccentric whistling. The barbarians surprised the successor commander. And so it went.
­
2) “We need something that never relaxes its guard,” roared Emperor Foo Yung. “Make it so.”
­
3) A light bulb lit up above the chief ice sculptor’s head. “No one can push his way through a wall of frozen blueberries. Why not fortify our northern border with a line of frozen blueberries?” So, engineers constructed the Great Frozen Blueberry Wall of China (GFBWC.) The winter invasions ceased.
­
4) The wily barbarians moved their cross-border incursions to summer. For there are measures and counter measures to everything.
­
5) Disgusted with the failure of the GFBWC, Emperor Wing ordered it to be torn down.
­
6) Northern riff raff now raided China all year long. “Stop the barbarians,” commanded Wing.
­
7) A light bulb lit up above the chief food taster’s head. “No one here eats blueberry. No civilized people would climb over blueberries. It’s bad luck. Why not put mounds of blueberries across our northern border? ” So, the Ting Tang Chinese constructed the Great Blueberry Wall of China. (GBWC.)
­
8) But the Mongols were not civilized. In addition to their incessant fighting, killing, and pillaging, the Mongols loved desserts. But no blueberries grow in their homelands. They could not make Blueberry Cheesecake. The lack of their favorite dessert would make them crabby enough to fight, kill, and pillage blueberry-rich countries.
­
9) Then one fine day, Lil’ Genghis rode up to his father. “Daddy, the Chinese have built a huge wall made  entirely of blueberries! We can make all the Blueberry Cheesecake we want.”
­
10) The next day, Mongol dessert chefs used up every blueberry in the GBWC to make countless Blueberry Cheesecakes. The way to China lay open. Genghis Khan would take full advantage. The Scourge of the Mongols would paralyze Asia and Europe for over 100 years. But the ice sculptor and the food tester went on to invent hovering light bulbs. So, some good came out of this.
­

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

­My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Turkey Drumsticks

Posted on September 27, 2024 by pauldelancey

American Entree

­

TURKEY DRUMSTICKS

­
INGREDIENTS­
­
2¼ pounds* turkey drumstick
¼ cup butter
⅜ teaspoon pepper
½ teaspoon garlic powder
½ teaspoon rosemary
½ teaspoon sage
1 teaspoon sea salt or salt
no-stick spray
­
* = The weight of a drumstick varies wildly, from ½ pound to 2¼ pounds. The average weight for a turkey drumstick is ¾ pound.
­
SPECIAL UTENSILS
­
no-stick spray
meat thermometer
­
Serves 3. Takes 1 hour 45 minutes.
­
PREPARATION
­
Preheat oven to 360 degrees. Use paper towels to pat turkey dry. Melt butter in small pot, using low-medium heat. Add pepper, garlic powder, rosemary, sage, and sea salt. Mix with fork or whisk until well blended. Brush all of the melted butter over the turkey legs. Spray baking pan with no-stick spray. Add turkey legs to baking pan. Roast turkey for 1 hour 30 minutes at 360 degrees or until internal temperature reaches 175 degrees.
­
TIDBITS
­
1) Late 18th century The United States of America just buzzed with music. And why not? It had just gained its independence by defeating Britain, the greatest empire in the world. At first things looked bleak for the former Thirteen Colonies. British armies would win battle after battle with planned attacks. They would coordinate their assaults by rapping out orders in Picton code on their drums.
­
2) Unfortunately, the Continental Army couldn’t send messages via drums, for Britain had hoarded all the drumsticks. Then just in time for the Battle of Saratoga, Private Carl La Fong observed, “We have plenty of wild turkeys. Why not use turkey drumsticks on our drums?” General Washington ordered this to be done. The Continentals now tapped out orders to a string of victories. Britain gave up fighting and granted America its independence in 1783. As General Cornwallis wrote, “We couldn’t defeat them once they got the turkey drumstick.” So every time we dine on turkey drumsticks or listen to a drum corps, we’re honoring the soldiers who won us our independence.
­
­

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Mixtas (hot dogs)

Posted on September 24, 2024 by pauldelancey

Guatemalan Entree

Mixtas

(hot dogs)

­
INGREDIENTS – GUACAMOLE
­
3 avocados
1 tablespoon fresh cilantro (1½ tablespoons more later)
1 serrano chile (1 more later)
2 tablespoons lime juice
½ teaspoon oregano
¼ red onion (¼ more later)
¼ teaspoon salt (¼ teaspoon more later)
­
INGREDIENTS – CHIRMOL
­
1½ tablespoons fresh cilantro
¼ red onion
2 Roma tomatoes
1 serrano chile
2 tablespoons lemon juice
¼ teaspoon salt
­
INGREDIENTS – ASSEMBLY
­
8 corn tortillas (Use fresh tortillas or ones from just opened package. Should be as wide as the sausages are long)
8 sausages* or hot dogs
1 cup shredded red cabbage
mustard from squeezable bottle
­
* = Guatemalan longanizas or chorizos are traditional. However, they’re difficult to find. If so, use any longanizas or chorizos. Or simply white sausages or hot dogs. Use your sonic obliterator on any guest who gives you guff about the sausages you use.
­
SPECIAL UTENSILS
­
potato masher
sonic obliterator
­
Serves 8. Takes 1 hour.
­
PREPARATION – GUACAMOLE
­
Peel and remove pit from avocados. Dice 1 tablespoon cilantro. Seed and dice 1 serrano chile. Dice ¼ red onion. Add avocados to 1st mixing bowl. Mash with potato masher until avocado becomes creamy. Add all other guacamole ingredients. Mix with fork until completely blended.
­
PREPARATION – CHIRMOL
­
Dice 1½ tablespoons fresh cilantro and ¼ red onion. Seed and dice 1 serrano chile. Use medium heat to heat pan for 30 seconds. Add Roma tomatoes. Cook Roma tomatoes for 8 minutes, turning them slowly or until they char on all sides.
­­
Add charred Roma tomatoes to 2nd mixing bowl. Mash with potato masher or fork until tomatoes become thoroughly mashed. Add all other chirmol ingredients. Mix with fork or whisk until well blended.
­
PREPARATION – ASSEMBLY
­Add sausages to pot. Bring to boil using high heat. Boil for 5 minutes.. While sausages boil, warm tortillas in pan, using low-medium heat. Put sausage in the middle of tortilla. Place guacamole on one side of sausage and shredded red cabbage on the other. Top with chirmol. Make a squiggle of mustard across the chirmol
­
TIDBITS
­
1) The American declared their independence in 1776 because they detested British taxation without representation. The former colonists had also developed their own, distinct way of doing things. One example of the American spirit was their devotion to the proto-saxophone. Indeed Josiah Parnell and his big band, The Revolutionaries, entertained the Continental Army between battles and marches. General George Washington would later say, “Many times in the great struggle, our despondent soldiers would have deserted in droves but for the peppy music of The Revolutionaries.”
­
2) Foreign powers everywhere took this notion to heart. If you let the fractious natives indulge in proto-saxophone chamber music and big-band marches, they will mount a successful war of independence.
­
3) Indeed Pablo Tiul charmed large crowds of peasants with his swinging proto-sax. They hung on every note. He even had scores of groupies. At first, the oppressive Spanish governor tolerated Tiul’s tunes at first. But as the spring of 1821 progressed, the mood of the populace grew ever more restless. Why did the peasant restlessness burgeon? Well, because the Spanish governor oppressed them. Tiul’s tunes took on harsher notes. Crowds shouted, “Los españoles se van a casa,” after every concert. But the Spanish didn’t go home. Instead, the Governor sent troops to confiscate Senor Tiul’s proto-saxophone. The crowd erupted with fury, calling the soldiers all sorts of hurtful names.
­
4) The very next day, the leaders of all the peasant villages gathered in Tiul’s hamlet for Guatemalan hot dogs, as who would not? What shall we call this hot dog? “Why not, ‘Mi T,” said someone. (My T, where T is the first letter of Pablo’s last name.)
­
5) “Let’s add “sax” to it,” said Maria Escuela, “make it Mitsax.” People applauded this idea. The naming of the hot dog settled, the assembly soon declared independence. Unfortunately, a typo in the independence posters changed “Mitsax” to “Mixtas.” Guatemala would so be free. Free from oppression, free to love saxophones and mixtas. Now you know.
­

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I am But a Simple Man

Posted on September 21, 2024 by pauldelancey

I am known for my simple ways. I cringe at every addition to our cell phones: additions that frequently turn out to be death by enhancement.

No, I like the simplicity of sunrises, kittens, and baking.

Baking involves measuring amounts of butter. The standard American stick of butter contains 8 tablespoons or ½ cup.

Fairly simple, right? But many recipes call for 4 tablespoons or ¼ cup of butter. The standard American butter stick does mark off every tablespoon. However, the wrapper for the butter is often off. So, when we cut the butter at what we think is ¼ tablespoons, we have actually sliced off maybe 4.23 tablespoons butter.

If only there were a simple way for simple souls to accurately measure 4 tablespoons of butter.

Now thanks to Land O Lakes(tm) I have butter sticks that measure 4 tablespoons.

A simple solution for a simple man, All is well. I am content.

An old-style 8 tablespoon stick is there for reference

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: about me, cuisine | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Tomato Soup

Posted on September 20, 2024 by pauldelancey

American Soup

­

TOMATO SOUP

­
INGREDIENTS
­
3 garlic cloves
1 small onion
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 bay leaf
1¾ cups chicken or vegetable broth
1 teaspoon oregano
1 teaspoon salt
2½ pounds tomatoes
3 tablespoons butter
2½ tablespoons flour
½ tablespoon fresh basil
­
SPECIAL UTENSILS
­
large food processor or electric blender
colander
­
Serves 6. Takes 40 minutes.
­
PREPARATION
­
Dice garlic and onion. Add garlic cloves, onion, and olive oil to large pot. Sauté at for 5 minutes at medium-high heat or until onion softens. Add bay leaf, broth, oregano, salt. and tomatoes. Bring to boil using medium-high heat. Stir frequently. Cover. Reduce heat to low and simmer for 20 minutes or until tomatoes begin to disintegrate. Remove bay leaf.
­
While tomato/broth mixture simmers, add butter to pan. Melt butter using medium heat. Add flour gradually, stirring always. Cook for 1 minute or until mixture turns brown.
­
Add ingredients in pot to food processor. Blend using puree setting until ingredients become tomato soup. (You might to blend in batches.) Strain soup through colander into bowl. Discard bits in colander. Gradually stir in brown flour mixture. Stir with fork or whisk until any lumps disappear.
­
Dice fresh basil. Garnish soup with fresh basil. Other garnishes that go well with this soup are: croutons, parsley, and Parmesan cheese.
­
TIDBITS
­
1) Writing first appeared 5,400 years ago in Mesopotamia. But the land had no tomatoes, so no tomato-soup recipes. Humans first domesticated tomatoes in South America on April 12, 4976 BCE, but the natives didn’t write, so again no tomato-soup recipes Then one glorious day in 1832 saw the first published tomato-soup recipe. Culinary historians say this is humanity’s greatest deed.
­

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Refrigerator Pickles

Posted on September 18, 2024 by pauldelancey

American Appetizer

­

REFRIGERATOR PICKLES

­
INGREDIENTS
­
1½ tablespoons salt
1½ tablespoons sugar
2 cups white vinegar
2¾ cups cold water
2 pounds Kirby cucumbers of pickling cucumbers
4 teaspoons coriander seeds
10 sprigs fresh dill
6 garlic cloves
½ tablespoon mustard seeds
½ teaspoon red pepper flakes
­
SPECIAL UTENSIL
­
2-to-3 4-Cup Mason jars.
­
Serves 6-to-8. Takes 25 minutes plus 30 hours for marinating.
­
PREPARATION
­
Make sure Mason jars have been sterilized. Add salt, sugar, and vinegar to pot. Cook at high heat until salt and sugar dissolve. Transfer contents to mixing bowl. Add cold water. Mix with spatula or fork. This is the brine.
­
Divide cucumbers equally betweens Mason jars. Smash garlic cloves. Divide brine, coriander seeds, dill sprigs,  garlic, mustard seeds, and red pepper flakes evenly between Mason jars. Discard excess brine. Seal lids on Mason jars. Chill in refrigerator for 30 hours.
­
TIDBITS
­
1) Number One Son said, “It tastes nice. It tastes like a pickle.”
­
2) *Beams*
­
3) Lots of things taste like chicken. This is because lots of animals share a common flying-dinosaur ancestor.
­
4) Chickens can fly. I believe the record for chicken flight is 243.
­
5) I cannot fly at all. I am not as good as chicken.
­
6) Can you imagine what football would be like if we could fly? I don’t know why the NFL doesn’t sign chickens. A chicken could fly up and swat down a field-goal attempt. I’d pay to see that.
­

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Slow Cooker Shredded Chicken

Posted on September 15, 2024 by pauldelancey

American Appetizer

­

SLOW COOKER SHREDDED CHICKEN

­
INGREDIENTS
­
2 pounds boneless chicken
1 cup chicken broth
½ teaspoon garlic powder
½ teaspoon onion powder
¼ teaspoon pepper
¾ teaspoon salt
­
Makes 2 pounds shredded chicken. Takes 3 hours.
­
SPECIAL UTENSIL.
­
slow cooker
­
PREPARATION
­
Place all ingredients in slow cooker. Set slow cooker to high and cook for 3 hours. Remove chicken and place it on plate. Use two forks to shred chicken. If desired, drizzle liquid from slow cooker over shredded chicken. Leftover shredded chicken should keep for 3 days in the refrigerator if stored in air-tight container.
­
TIDBITS
­
1) This recipe asks you to shred chicken.
­
2) But chicken do their own shredding.
­
3) Indeed, every April 16th Kona, Hawaii  holds the Great Chicken Surfing Invitational.
­
4) The chicken that shreds the gnarly waves the best, wins the grand prize of a lifetime supply of Kobe worms.
­
5) For there are worms and there are Kobe worms.
­
6) Hattie the Hen retired just two weeks ago. She holds the record with six championships. Not a paltry poultry achievement, you bet.
­
7) “She will be so missed,” said surfer legend Dude McLain. “Did you ever see one of her 360 airs? Hattie’s was the queen of shredding. She was legit, man. I wish I could have shredded like her.”
­
8) A new surfing era beckons. Who will be the next chicken champion? Will it be the crowd’s new favorite, Betsy? Again from McLain, “How’d she master shredding waves in Wyoming? Far out.”
­
­

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: sports | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Smoked SPAM

Posted on August 20, 2024 by pauldelancey

American Entree

­

SMOKED  SPAM

­
INGREDIENTS
­
4 12-ounce cans SPAM(tm)
½ cup ham rub or pineapple-ham rub
“
SPECIAL UTENSILS
­
wood chips (hickory, apple, or pecan)
smoker
electric thermometer
baking pan
tin foil
­
Serves 4. Takes 3 hours.
­­
PREPARATION
­
Preheat smoker to 220 degrees. Add wood chips to smoker. Make diagonal cuts about ¼” deep on the top of the SPAM blocks. Rub ham rub all over SPAM blocks.
­
When temperature of smoker reaches 220 degrees, place SPAM blocks on  grill Put thermometer in the thickest part of a SPAM block. Smoke until SPAM’s internal temperature reaches 160 degrees. This should take about 2 hours 30 minutes, varying greatly depending on your smoker. Let sit for 5 minutes or eat right away. Goes well with macaroni and cheese.
­
TIDBITS
­
1) Amps is an anagram for SPAM.  “Amplifiers” is slang for amps. Amplifiers were first built in 1803 by the reputedly young, inventor and guitarist, Keith Richards. There were no uses for them until Mr. Richards formed the first rock n’ roll band one year later. His group, The Drifting Pebbles toured the British coasts in 1804. Wow, they were popular! 172,000-estimates vary-showed up for his second concert, held in Bristol. The front-row fans went wild. The music goers seated farther back, not so much. His third and fourth venues drew only dozens.
­
2) But Keith adapted. “Why not use my amps to project my music to everyone?” Bristol Stomp, January 30, 1804. His fans returned in droves and by horse and foot. Britain loved him. The amount of trees needed to feed his wood-feed electric power station devastated forests everywhere. Then, disaster struck in 1805. Napoleon again went on the rampage, winning land battles everywhere. Only the Royal Navy prevented his invasion of England. But the Royal Navy needed tons of oak to built its war ships. To satisfy its ravenous need, the navy requisitioned Richards’ wood. No wood, no concerts. To make things worse, the few concerts that still had wood for the amps were fertile hunting grounds for the Royal Navy’s press gangs. When word got out that going to a Drifting Pebbles concert meant be forced into the navy, Richard’s name became mud. His musical career tanked. But happily enough, he became part of The Rolling Stones in 1962. Now, everyone loves him.
­

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Grape Freezer Jam

Posted on August 3, 2024 by pauldelancey

American Breakfast

­

GRAPE FREEZER JAM

­
INGREDIENTS
­
2 cups fresh, crushed grapes (about 1 pound whole)*
3½ tablespoons lemon juice
4 cups sugar
¾ cup water
6 tablespoons or 1.75-ounce box fruit pectin powder)
­
SPECIAL UTENSILS
­
potato masher or food processor
5 * 1-cup hot, sterilized Mason jars (They really must be hot and newly sterilized.)
­
Makes 5-cups. Takes 1 hour plus 1-to-2 hours to set.
­
PREPARATION* – (Assuming, as is likely, you can’t find crushed grapes to buy)
­
Cut grapes in half. Remove stems and seeds from grapes. Smash grape halves with potato masher until thoroughly crushed. (Or add bits to food processor. Pulse processor until thoroughly crushed, but not yet pureed. Some grape bits should remain.)
­
Add grape and lemon juice to large mixing bowl. Mix with fork until well blended. Add sugar. Mix with whisk until sugar dissolves completely. (Undissolved sugar makes the jam grainy.)
­
Add water and pectin to small pan. Bring to boil using heat. Stir constantly. Boil for 1 minute, stirring constantly. Pour boiling water over grape/sugar mix. Stir constantly for 3 minutes. The mixture should start to jell and thicken.
­
Pour grape mixture into Mason jars. Leave ½” gap at the top. Stir until grape bits and juice gel and blend. Cover and let stand for 1-to-2 hours or until set. (Not longer than 12 hours.) If desired, serve some immediately. Store the rest in the refrigerator for 3 weeks or in the freezer for up to 1 year.
­
TIDBITS
­
1) Sorry, this tidbit isn’t funny. But I am quite proud that I wrote this recipe and then made it. This is my first recipe since getting Covid, a severe ear infection, and surgery back to back to back.
“
2) Okay, I have space for a joke. Q: How many 1-cup Mason jars filled with grape jam does it take to change a light bulb? A: 122, but it’s far safer to use a step ladder. Ha, ha, ha!
­

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Starter Free Sourdough Bread

Posted on April 18, 2024 by pauldelancey

American Appetizer

­

STARTER FREE SOURDOUGH BREAD

­
INGREDIENTS
­
4½ cups flour (¼ cup more later)
18 grams (.63 ounce) instant sourdough* (yeast and sourdough culture)
2¼ teaspoons salt
1¾ cups warm water (100 to 105 degrees)
1½ tablespoons flour (1 more tablespoon later)
1 tablespoon rice flour or flour
1 t­ablespoon flour
­
* = Instant sourdough can be found online. It skips the step of making active starter. It changes the taste somewhat but makes the whole process easier.
­­­
SPECIAL UTENSILS
­­
electric beater
tea towel, flour sack, or dish towel
banneton or bread-proofing basket.
parchment paper sheet.
6-quart enameled cast iron Dutch oven
bread lame or sharp knife
instant-read thermometer
sonic obliterator
­
Makes 1 loaf. Takes 2 hours 20 minutes plus overnight plus 3 hours.
­
PREPARATION
­
Add 4½ cups flour, instant sourdough, salt, and warm water to large mixing bowl. Mix with beater set at low-medium until smooth-sticky dough ball forms. Shape with hands, if needed, Cover with tea towel. Let rise in warm (70-to-75 degrees) place for 2 hours. Then refrigerate loaf overnight. At any point, gently dent the loaf with your fingertip. If the dent springs back rapidly, more rising time is needed.
­
Dust flat surface with 1½ tablespoons flour. Add dough to flat surface. Gently lift up the side of the dough closest to you, gently pulling it upward and stretch over the dough’s center. (Avoid tearing the dough.) Press down on this fold to seal and keep it into place. Rotate dough a quarter turn and lift, stretch, fold, and press again. Repeat quarter rotations and folding 2 more times.
­
Dust cloth that comes with banneton with 1 tablespoon rice flour. (If you don’t have a banneton, put tea towel in mixing bowl and dust that.) Put dough in banneton. Cover with tea towel and let rise in a warm place (70-to-75 degrees) for 1 hour. Brush or scrape off excess flour.
­
30 minutes before baking, place Dutch oven with lid in oven. Preheat oven to 500 degrees. Dust parchment paper with 1 tablespoon flour. Place dough on parchment paper, seam side down. Score the bread ball when the oven temperature reaches 500 degrees. (Scoring is a way of making shallow cuts in the top of the dough just before baking. Scoring can be a simple pattern or as complicated as you’re to do. Scoring also prevents the gas that builds up during from causing uncontrolled ruptures on the loaf top.)
­
Spray the dough’s top with water just before baking. (This keeps the surface flexible for longer and let the bread rise more.)
­
Put on oven mitts. Hold 2 sides of parchment paper to lower dough into Dutch oven. Put lid on Dutch oven. Immediately reduce heat to 450 degrees and bake for 20 minutes. Remove lid and bake for another 20 minutes or loaf turns a deep golden brown and becomes crispy. (Or when instant-read thermometer shows 205 degrees.) Place on wire rack and let cool completely before slicing.
­
Feel free to use sonic obliterator on any guest who gives any guff at all about your sourdough bread. It’s okay to do so. See Levain v. Miche, 2007.
­
TIDBITS
­
1) Ancient Egypt got a big jump on civilization compared to its Mediterranean and Near Eastern neighbors. Why was Ancient Egypt so advanced? It was the first nation to bake sourdough bread. Sourdough bread originated in ancient Egypt around 1500 BC.
­
2) Rome didn’t even get founded until 753 BC. It didn’t start conquering until about 250 BC.
­
3) Rome’s empire did not derive from  vast amounts of sourdough bread. Oh sure it had some. (See Pistoria Uvam Massam Panis by Flavius the Younger.)
­
4) Rather, Rome conquered the Mediterranean and parts of Europe with its vast, superbly trained army. So, global importance arises from sourdough bread and big armed forces.
­
5) The Unites States operates a huge military. America also has lots and lots of sourdough bread, especially from San Francisco.
­­
6) China also possesses an immense military, but relatively few loaves of sourdough bread. China is also powerful, but not as much as America.
­
7) Sourdough starters have been found in Egyptian tombs, indicating that the Egyptians baked sourdough bread. A hieroglyph in a Theban temple depicts Keith Richards baking sourdough bread for Pharaoh Amenhotep II.
­
8) In 1620, Yeoman Keith Richards sailed on the Mayflower to Plymouth Rock. He ,brought sourdough starters with him. Soon sourdough baking spread all through the 13 colonies. Not so much, in the mother country, Great Britain. This is why is America is the more powerful nation.
­

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Blog at WordPress.com.