Misheard Lyrics of Starship

I am not alone in mishearing this line.

Unfortunately, I found out the correct version fairly quickly. Sometimes I think these lyrics sound better than Starship’s original  “We built this city on rock ‘n’ roll.” What say you?

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Wear Pajamas!

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

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Fiesta Stew

Mexican Entree

FIESTA STEW

INGREDIENTS

4 THIN boneless pork loin chops

2 avocados
1 jalapeno pepper
½ onion
2 tablespoons fresh cilantro
1 tablespoon lime juice
½ teaspoon sea salt
¼ teaspoon black pepper
½ cup diced tomatoes
10 ounces queso quesadilla jalapeno (queso = cheese)
½ cup Crema Mexicana (sour cream)
¼ cup grated Four Mexican cheeses
¼ cup water
½ teaspoon cumin
¼ teaspoon cayenne
1 teaspoon red pepper flakes

SPECIAL UTENSILS

cooking scissors
Dutch oven

PREPARATION

Cut each thin pork loin into ½ inch squares. It is easier to do all this cutting with kitchen scissors than with a knife.

Mash the avocados thoroughly with a fork. (Make sure avocados are soft to the touch.) Ruthlessly remove stem and seeds from jalapeno pepper. Mince jalapeno pepper, onion, and cilantro. Crumble the queso quesadilla jalapeno. (There are no known tongue twisters that use the word, jalapeno.)

Add all ingredients to Dutch oven. Blend completely with fork or whisk. Cook stew on low heat for about 15-to-20 minutes. Stir occasionally. Cheeses should be completely melted.

TIDBITS

1) Pigs were first domesticated around 5,000 BC.

2) But beer was first brewed about 9,500 BC. Go, beer!

3) But it wasn’t until the last part of the twentieth century that packages of pork rinds AND six packs of beer were available in convenience stores.

4) At one time, some peoples used pig bones as weapons.

5) These civilizations lost out to ones using bronze swords.

6) Can you imagine Achilles and Hector fighting each other with pig knuckles?

7) Finally, pork’s myoglobin content is lower than beef’s.

8) I have no idea what that means.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Angry Man Rants About Shrink Wrap

The struggle is real.

Angry Man #21

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Archer Woman on Mansplaining

Archer Woman is a woman of action.

Archer Woman #9

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Tzatziki Meatloaf

Greek Entree

TZATZIKI MEATLOAF

INGREDIENTS

⅔ cups plain yogurt (fat, not low-fat)
⅓ medium cucumber or ½ small or 1 tiny
¼ teaspoon black pepper
¼ teaspoon salt
¾ teaspoon sugar
4 teaspoons dill weed
1 garlic clove
2 teaspoon lemon juice
1½ pounds ground beef
3 large eggs
2 cups breadcrumbs
no-stick spray.

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Peel the skin off the cucumber. It is optional to remove the seeds from the cucumber. This step, however, will make the sauce sweeter.

Peel the skin off the garlic clove. Cut up the cucumber into about eight pieces. Put the cucumber and garlic into a food chopper or food processor. Blend, chop, and process away until mixture is almost liquid.

Put the yogurt and cucumber-garlic mix into bowl. Add the salt, sugar, dill weed, lemon juice, ground beef, eggs, and breadcrumbs. Get a nine-year old to thoroughly mix this with his hands. (If you don’t have such a child in your house, knock on neighbors’ doors until you find such a kid.)

Spray baking pan with no-stick spray. Pour delightful meat mixture into baking pan. Put baking pan in oven. Bake at 350 degrees for 40 minutes or until meat is no longer pink.

Place slice of meatloaf on plate. Take a ladle and pour liquid from the baking pan on top of the meatloaf.

TIDBITS

1) My nine-year old son is listening to a Pokemon(tm) episode on the laptop while I’m trying to think up tidbits.

2) I’m not thinking well with this distraction.

3) There’s no Pokemon on the moon, is there?

4) Is that why astronaut Neil Armstrong landed there on July 20, 1969? Did American rocket scientists have a vision of America’s Pokemon future?

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Angie the Angry Avocado on Toilet Seats

Angry Avocado #3

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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How Many?

We need to know.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

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Tuscan Sunset Soup

Italian Soup

TUSCAN SUNSET SOUP

INGREDIENTS

FIRST BATCH

2 cups garlic bread
2 garlic cloves
½ avocado
½ green bell pepper
1 7 ounce can red beans
1 7 ounce can pork and beans
1 7 ounce can diced tomatoes
1 15 ounce can condensed tomato soup
15 ounces water
½ cup grated Monterey Jack cheese
½ cup grated Romano cheese
½ teaspoon oregano
½ teaspoon chopped chives
¼ teaspoon coriander
¼ teaspoon parsley flakes
⅛ teaspoon ground mustard
⅛ teaspoon tarragon

SECOND BATCH

½ pound ground turkey
⅛ teaspoon white pepper
⅛ teaspoon rosemary
⅛ teaspoon sesame seed
2 eggs

SPECIAL UTENSIL

Large soup pot or saucepan

PREPARATION

Cut the garlic bread into 1-inch cubes. Mince the garlic cloves. Remove the skin and pit of the avocado, and cut the yummy remaining part into ½-inch cubes. Mince the green bell pepper.

Add all ingredients listed under first batch to soup pot. Cook on medium heat. Stir frequently enough to keep soup from burning on the bottom before the top gets hot.

(Take a break to consider how beer saved the world.)

Use clean hands to mix second batch of ingredients: ground turkey, white pepper, rosemary, and sesame seed. Cook on medium-high heat. Transfer to soup pot after turkey meat changes from pink to white.

Add eggs after soup gets hot. Stir thoroughly with fork so eggs blend in. Cook on medium heat for 3 minutes. This soup is great.

TIDBITS

1) This was originally called “Paul’s Refrigerator Soup” as many of the ingredients came from my refrigerator, but it tastes so good that I went with Tuscan Sunset.

2) Garlic bread, in particular, was taking over the fridge and blocking the view of everything behind it.

3) The food behind the garlic would have spoiled and eventually mutated into all sorts of new life forms.

4) Who’s to say these life forms wouldn’t have evolved into ravenous carnivores?

5) So, I might have saved my family with this soup. And my goodness, it’s tasty.

6) The food of the ancient Romans was simpler. They were often called “porridge eaters” after the blandness of their cuisine.

7) In their defense, these Romans possessed no refrigerators.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Archer Woman on Dirty Dishes

Archer Woman #8

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Archer Woman | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

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