Orange Goat’s Milk Soap

Posted on October 19, 2023 by pauldelancey

ORANGE GOAT’S MILK SOAP

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INGREDIENTS
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1 teaspoon orange mica powder
2 tablespoons isopropyl alcohol
2 pounds goat’s milk soap base
¾ teaspoon orange essential oil
2 tablespoons fresh orange zest*
isopropyl alcohol or butter to coat molding
isopropyl alcohol to spray away bubbles forming on soap
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* = zest from 1 orange or 2 tsp dried orange zest
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SPECIAL UTENSILS
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soap mold
spray bottle
microwave
soap slicer (optional)
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Makes 10½ bars, 1″ wide. Takes 3 hours 30 minutes.
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PREPARATION
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Add orange mica powder and 2 tablespoons isopropyl alcohol to small mixing bowl. Mix with fork until well blended.
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Cut goat’s milk base into 1″ cubes. Add goat’s milk base to large glass measuring cups. Melt base in microwave with timer set at 30 seconds. Repeat until completely melted. Stir after every microwaving. Add orange mica powder/ isopropyl mix and orange essential oil. Stir with knife until well blended. Let sit for 5 minutes.. (This inhibits orange zest from settling to the bottom of the soap mold.) Add orange zest. Mix with knife until well blended.
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Spray silicon mold with isopropyl alcohol or rub with butter. Pour into soap mold. If desired, lightly spray bubbles with isopropyl alcohol to make them disappear. Let soap sit for 3 hours. Use soap slicer to cut soap into slices 1″ wide.
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TIDBITS
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1) Orange Goat’s Milk might come from an orange goat. Or maybe milk from goats is orange, which would be way cool.
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2) It’s not clear. More uncertainty has been introduced into your life. You might find that you’ll have trouble sleeping .If so, be sure to drink some warm orange goat’s milk before going to bed.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Apple Cinnamon Cookies With Maple Icing

Posted on October 18, 2023 by pauldelancey

American Dessert

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APPLE CINNAMON COOKIES WITH MAPLE ICING

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INGREDIENTS – COOKIES
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½ cup butter, softened
¾ cup brown sugar
1 egg
½ teaspoon vanilla extract
¾ teaspoon baking soda
1¼ teaspoons cinnamon
2 cups flour
½ teaspoon salt
1⅓ cups diced*, peeled apple (Your preference: Granny Smith = tart, Fuji = sweet)
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* = 1 Granny Smith apple
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INGREDIENTS – ICING
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1 cup confectioners’ sugar
2 teaspoons milk
½ tablespoon maple syrup
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SPECIAL UTENSILS
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electric beater
2 baking sheets
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Makes 30 cookies. Takes 40 minutes.
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PREPARATION – COOKIES
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Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Add butter and brown sugar to large mixing bowl. Blend with electric beater set on medium until mixture becomes fluffy. Add egg and vanilla extract. Blend with electric beater set on medium until thoroughly blended.
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Add baking soda, cinnamon, flour and salt to medium mixing bowl. Mix with whisk or fork until well blended. Gradually add this dry mix to large mixing bowl. Blend with electric beater set on medium until dough is thoroughly blended. Fold in diced apple.
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Roll dough into little balls about 1″ wide. Leave a 1″ gap between dough balls. Bake at 350 degrees for 12 minutes or until golden brown. (Baking times for any successive batches may vary.) Let cookies cool for 2 minutes before transferring with a spatula to wire rack or cold plate. Let cookies sit until completely cool.
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PREPARATION – ICING
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While cookies bake, add confectioners’ sugar, maple syrup, and milk to small mixing bowl. Mix with fork until thoroughly blended. Use knife to gently spread icing over cookies.
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TIDBITS
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1) It is worth restating from time to time that not all cookies are particularly fleet of foot.
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2) Please notice that the last two letters of “of” are “of.” It’s true. You can tell just by looking.
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3) The first two letters of “foot” are “fo.”
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4) Culinary linguists call whenever the first two letters of the second word are the reverse of the last two letters of the previous word an “offo.”
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5) Use this fact to amaze you fellow partiers. It’s also a sure-fire pick-up line.
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6) Friend: How did you get Miss America 2009 to come home with you?
You: I used the “offo” fact.
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7) See, proof you cannot deny.
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8) Anyway, not all cookies can move on their own.
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9) True, all cookies next to fault line, such as the San Andreas, clearly move in one direction or another. However, culinary seismologists don’t count as cookian–adjective for cookies–self propulsion.
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10) However, some cookies do move rather quickly.
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11) In fact, culinary sports announcers, will tell you after they’ve had a few, that Apple Cinnamon Cookies With Maple Glazing can move rather fast. Indeed, these apple cookies set the record for the 1500 meters with a speed of 2 minutes 2 seconds.
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12) Unfortunately, poor-sports human had Apple Cinnamon Cookies With Maple Glazing from Olympic individual foot races, giving the spurious excuse that Maple Glazing is a banned substance.
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13) However, the humans felt no need to ban Apple Cinnamon Cookies With Maple Glazing from relay racing.
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14) So, these cookies hold their own marathons. They celebrate diversity with all types of cookies encouraged to enter. Poway, California holds one every April 1st. Book you hotel rooms early.
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15) Be sure to look for the Apple Cinnamon Cookies with their Maple Glazing uniforms.
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16) Please refrain from eating cookies in front of the contestants. It rather hurts their feelings.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Standard for Ultimate Greatness

Posted on October 17, 2023 by pauldelancey

How do we know if something is the best thing in the last 100 years?

Simple:

Is it the greatest thing since sliced bread?

No other comparisons matter.

The ultimate measure of greatness

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Misheard Lyrics of Jan and Dean

Posted on October 16, 2023 by pauldelancey

The wonderful Jan and Dean had a hit with their great song “Poor Little Puppet.”

Am I the only one who thought this duo sang “licks” instead of “pulls?” It kinda changes the meaning a bit, makes it racier in fact. And honestly, wouldn’t you think a beautiful woman licking her finger at you is a pretty strong sign? Can you blame the man who sees the finger-licking good sign and becomes her puppet?

Here are the real lyrics:

Poor little puppet, she’s got him tied to a string
That poor little thing, he does what she wants
Every time she pulls her finger
Poor little puppet

Misheard lyrics #12

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Misheard Lyrics of Moody Blues – A Side

Posted on October 15, 2023 by pauldelancey

The superb Moody Blues had a hit with the great song “Nights in White Satin.”

Now, with most of my misheard lyrics, I eventually found out the correct words. However, I hereby swear to you that until yesterday, I thought they sang “knights” instead of “nights.” Not only does this change the song’s meaning somewhat, but it also completely upends my understanding of the universe. I mean, is nothing unchanging? Is there nothing immutable we can cling to in times of turmoil? Egad.

Here are the real lyrics:

“Nights in white satin
Never reaching the end
Letters I’ve written
Never meaning to send”

Misheard lyrics #11

Which version do you prefer?

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

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When I was Unambiguously Better Than a Professional Football Player

Posted on October 14, 2023 by pauldelancey

1) I forget the year, but the San Diego Chargers were essentially one play away from making it to the Super Bowl. They had their best team ever.

The situation: The Chargers were leading the New England Patriots by less than a touchdown. Tom Brady was driving the Patriots toward a game-leading touchdown. They had not enough time for another possession. It was a 4th town and perhaps 25 yards to a first down. Brady passed the ball downfield. The Charger defender intercepted the ball. Then he inexplicably tried to make yardage on his interception. Someone on the Patriots stripped the ball. Another Patriot recovered the ball. A few plays later, Brady threw for a touchdown. The Patriots went to the Super Bowl.  The San Diego Chargers didn’t. In fact, they would never go to the Super Bowl before leaving town.

HOW I WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER THAN THIS FOOTBALLER

1) I would not have caught the ball. The pass gets ruled incomplete. The Chargers take over on downs and run out the clock. Thanks to me, they go to the Super Bowl.

2) I would not have even tried to catch the ball. I would have let the pass fall to the ground. The pass gets ruled incomplete. The Chargers take over on downs and run out the clock. Thanks to me, they go to the Super Bowl.

3) If for some reason, I had actually caught the ball, I would immediately crumpled to the ground and stayed there. The Chargers gain possession and run out the clock. Thanks to me, they go to the Super Bowl.

If only I had been on defense for this play.

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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: about me, sports | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A Near Success

Posted on October 13, 2023 by pauldelancey

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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Misheard Lyrics of Patsy Cline

Posted on October 12, 2023 by pauldelancey

The great Patsy Cline had a big hit with the excellent song,  “Walkin’ After Midnight.”

Now doesn’t her word “me” sound like “bee.” I have questions.

Why is Patsy looking for a bee after midnight? I mean, bees are not noctural. She’ll find no bees in the dark. She’d have more luck in the daytime.

Why is she so worried about one bee? Is this the biblical parable about the shepherd searching for his one missing sheep, but this time with a beekeeper and a bee?

Is she an apianphile? It’s astounding how seldomly that words enters common conversation.

Does she name her bees? If so, what does she call the other bees? Like Bee 1, Bee 2, Bee 3, etc.

Even if she finds a bee flitting about after midnight, how does she know it’s the missing Bee 17 and not some feral bee?

 

Mishear lyrics #10

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: misheard | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

De Lancey’s Daily Deeds – Day 2

Posted on October 11, 2023 by pauldelancey

Very busy today. I did finances in the morning. Then I went to the supermarket to get somethings. Let me tell you cream cheese can be anywhere. Something else was hard to find. I spent a long time looking for those things.

I went home to start preparing for a birthday l and birthday dessert for Number Two Son. Well a lot of preparation. Bottleneck occurred when 8″*8″ casserole dish was not where it should have, nor could it be discovered in its secondary haunts. I was later informed of an unsuspected location. It was found.

I walked 30 minutes to eye therapy. Did 45 minutes of eye therapy, which is definitely more tiring than regular physical activity. Walked 30 minutes back. Prepared and cooked for the next 3 hours. Did a bunch of dishes during lulls in cooking.

Celebrated Birthday dinner and dessert. Birthday dinner was Tacos al Pastor. Desset was Blueberry Cheesecake.

Sorry, this post isn’t as creative as most but I’m tired and my hurts a fair amount.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

Categories: De Lancey's Daily Deeds | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Strawbery Shea Butter Soap

Posted on October 10, 2023 by pauldelancey

STRAWBERRY SHEA BUTTER SOAP

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INGREDIENTS
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½ pound fresh strawberries
1 teaspoon red mica powder
2 tablespoons isopropyl alcohol
2 pounds shea butter soap base
1 teaspoon strawberry fragrance oil
isopropyl alcohol or butter to coat molding
isopropyl alcohol to spray away bubbles forming on soap
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SPECIAL UTENSILS
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soap mold
spray bottle
microwave
soap slicer (optional)
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Makes 10½ bars, 1″ wide. Takes 3 hours 30 minutes.
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PREPARATION
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Remove stems from strawberries. Puree strawberries and set aside. Add red mica powder and 2 tablespoons isopropyl alcohol to small mixing bowl. Mix with fork until well blended.
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Cut shea butter base into 1″ cubes. Add shea butter base to large glass measuring cups. Melt base in microwave with timer set at 30 seconds. Stir after every time. Add red mica powder/ isopropyl mix and strawberry fragrance oil. Stir with knife until well blended. Let sit for 5 minutes.. (This inhibits strawberry bits from settling to the bottom of the soap mold.) Add pureed strawberry. Mix with knife until well blended.
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Spray silicon mold with isopropyl alcohol or rub with butter. Pour into soap mold. If desired, lightly spray bubbles with isopropyl alcohol to make them disappear. Let soap sit for 3 hours. Use soap slicer to cut soap into slices 1″ wide.
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TIDBITS
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1) What if you need to compete in Olympic weightlifting and then go right away to a fancy dinner where you’re going to propose to your true love? You really don’t want to show up sweaty and stinking. You truly want to shower and scrub yourself all over with Strawberry Shea Butter Soap. You’d be clean and smell like happiness. But what if you don’t have the time for a shower? What to do? May I suggest ditching your cast-iron weights in favor of ones made from Strawberry Shea Butter? The heat generated from you workout will make the strawberry soap melt all over you. You’ll be getting squeaky clean while you compete for the gold.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: soap | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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