printers

I Accuse (This is Very Political)

I accuse that horrible man of:
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Abandoning our allies to Putin
Being a Russian asset
Enabling and encouraging bullies
Being willfully ignorant
Trampling on our constitution
Working towards a one-party state
Intimidating politicians
Intimidating even politicians of his party with threats of violence.
Gutting agencies that we paid for, just because they return our tax dollars to the lower 98%
Destroying governmental agencies that are essential to our nation’s security because he’s too lazy to investigate.
Destroying the wonderful Christian faith by converting huge numbers of them to worshipping him and hatred
Of making all sorts of people live in fear, including outspoken women, political opponents, handicapped people, and immigrants.
Of making America a highly divided country.
Of creating tensions within households of Republicans and Democrats, people who not too long ago lived in harmony. (My parents were such people and they amicably split their vote for over 50 years.)
Of an insane tariff war is not only savaging our economy, but our trading partners as well.
On a personal note, I have no source of outside income, except a little bit from Social Security, so most of my income comes from investments have been damaged from his tariff tantrum.
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I have to go now. I’m so upset, that it’s making my Parkinson’s disease flare up.
– Paul De Lancey, Ph.D.
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Printers Are Evil

All it did was work all the time

Well they are. Somehow, a while back, they achieved consciousness and developed an instant and ferocious hatred of us.

Today’s onslaught of printer malevolence: Taking one hour to print one page.

Time to bring back the 1941 Royal typewriter.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: face of evil, printers, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Loving Poem About a Printer

Printer

Oh printer! Oh printer!

Pure Evil

You putrid pile of pig pool.
You use up ink. You jam.
You send us into fits.

All I want from a printer is for it to:
Work.
Work.
Work.

Yet it jams until eternity.
The only time it prints is
To spew out that test page
That uses up my ink cartridge.

I grow poor buying ink
While the printer’s makers
Earn enough to appear
On American Greed(tm).

May producers of computer printers
Be sentenced to sixty years of hard labor
Or be eaten by a Tyrannosaurus Rex.
I’m reasonable; either will do.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

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Scream 2, This Time It’s Personal

Edvard Munch’s printer jams an hour before his report is due.

Mr. Munch’s Printer Jams

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I love the name Munch. I love burgers. If Alfonso Burger married Desdemona Munch, the wedding headline would be Burger Munch.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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