printers
I Accuse (This is Very Political)
Printers Are Evil
Well they are. Somehow, a while back, they achieved consciousness and developed an instant and ferocious hatred of us.
Today’s onslaught of printer malevolence: Taking one hour to print one page.
Time to bring back the 1941 Royal typewriter.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Loving Poem About a Printer
Printer
Oh printer! Oh printer!
You putrid pile of pig pool.
You use up ink. You jam.
You send us into fits.
All I want from a printer is for it to:
Work.
Work.
Work.
Yet it jams until eternity.
The only time it prints is
To spew out that test page
That uses up my ink cartridge.
I grow poor buying ink
While the printer’s makers
Earn enough to appear
On American Greed(tm).
May producers of computer printers
Be sentenced to sixty years of hard labor
Or be eaten by a Tyrannosaurus Rex.
I’m reasonable; either will do.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Scream 2, This Time It’s Personal
Edvard Munch’s printer jams an hour before his report is due.
I love the name Munch. I love burgers. If Alfonso Burger married Desdemona Munch, the wedding headline would be Burger Munch.
Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.





