humor

Enchiladas Verdes

Posted on October 22, 2012 by pauldelancey

Mexican Entree

ENCHILADAS VERDES

SAUCE INGREDIENTS

1 1/2 tablespoons fresh cilantro (4 tablespoons more later)
1 16 ounce can green chile enchilada sauce
1/2 tablespoon basil
4 tablespoons parsley

FILLING INGREDIENTS

1 fresh green chile
2 jalapeno peppers
1 green bell pepper
1 medium onion
3 garlic cloves
4 tablespoons fresh cilantro (1 1/2 tablespoon more earlier)
1 teaspoon ground cumin
1 tablespoon vegetable oil

2 cups grated Four Mexican cheeses

OTHER INGREDIENTS

12 corn tortillas (You might want more in case some fall apart)
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
no-stick cooking spray

You might need two baking dishes

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Use no-stick cooking spray on baking dish.

SAUCE PREPARATION

Dice 1 1/2 tablespoons cilantro. Add cilantro, green enchilada sauce, basil, and parsley to first saucepan and bring to boil on high heat. Then simmer on warm heat for 5 to 10 minutes or until sauce thickens. Set aside.

FILLING PREPARATION

Remove seeds from green chile, jalapeno peppers, and green bell pepper. Dice green chile, jalapeno peppers, green bell pepper, onion, garlic, and 4 tablespoons cilantro. Use second saucepan to saute green chile, jalapeno pepper, green bell pepper, onion, garlic, cilantro, and cumin in vegetable oil for 5 minutes or until onion is soft.

TORTILLAS PREPARATION

Heat the tortillas for about 20 seconds in a microwave to make them easier to roll. Pour enough oil to cover the sauce pan. Dip one tortilla at a time in the hot oil. Cook for about 5 seconds.

USE TONGS TO DO THIS. You really don’t want your hands near searing oil. USE A BACK BURNER to heat the tortillas. Repeated dipping tortillas into hot oil can result in hot oil splattering on you. (While you scurry to the faucet for blessed cool relief, be thankful you live on a planet where 71 percent of the surface is water. You’d be out of luck on Mercury. No water utility companies there.)

Have a plate just a few inches away for your heated tortilla. It’s distressing to find out how quickly a hot, oil-dripping tortilla can fall apart.

Cover each heated tortilla with a paper towel to absorb oil.

FINAL PREPARATION

Dip tortilla in sauce. Add about 1/12 of the fillings’ ingredients plus grated Four Mexican cheeses on top of each tortilla. Roll each tortilla and put it against the side of the baking dish or as close to another rolled tortilla as possible. Hold the tortillas together with a toothpick if desired. (Be sure to have the toothpick as conspicuous as possible to avoid biting into it later.)

Pour the sauce evenly over the tortillas. Sprinkle any remaining ingredients on top. Bake at 350 degrees for 20 minutes or until any cheese on top bubbles.

TIDBITS

1) Enchilada means “served with chile pepper.”

2) My aunts fled from their ranch before the forces of Pancho Villa during the Mexican Revolution. One of them made enchiladas from scratch. Pancho Villa was not after them for their enchiladas, only their ranchero.

3) Every year Las Cruces, New Mexico makes the world’s biggest enchilada.

4) The Nixon administration was fond of the expression, “the whole enchilada.”

5) “Enchiladas Suizas” means “Swiss enchiladas.” Swiss immigrants to Mexico topped their enchiladas with cream-based sauces. Swiss immigrants in Mexico, who knew?

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Italian Pork Chops

Posted on October 21, 2012 by pauldelancey

Italian Entree

ITALIAN PORK CHOPS

INGREDIENTS

4 pork loin chops
1 red bell pepper
2 garlic cloves
1 onion
1 teaspoon pepper
2 tablespoons butter
1 8-ounce can tomato sauce
1 14.5 can diced tomatoes, Italian style
1/2 teaspoon basil
1/2 teaspoon marjoram
1/2 teaspoon oregano
1/2 teaspoon rosemary
1/2 teaspoon sage
1/2 teaspoon thyme
8 ounces mozzarella cheese

PREPARATION

Remove bone from pork loins. (My wife doesn’t like bone in pork. Good enough for me.) Remove seeds and whitish stuff from inside of red bell pepper. Cut pepper into 8 rings. Mince garlic cloves and onion. Cover both sides of pork loins with pepper. Melt butter in frying pan. Saute pork in frying pan on medium heat until both sides are brown and inside is no longer pink.

(Unless you’re experienced, the best way to see if the inside of the pork is pink is to cut off a piece and see. If the piece has turned white inside then the best thing to do is eat it. If it tastes great, try tasting the other pork loins. You might want to sample the other side of the loins as well. And if your diligent sampling gets out of hand and the pork loins in the pan are shrinking visibly, that is why we chefs cover everything in sauce. No one need ever know how much you ate.)

Add tomato sauce, diced tomatoes, basil, marjoram, oregano, rosemary, sage, thyme, and onion to the pork loins. Bring to boil. Reduce heat and simmer with lid on for about 8 minutes.

Put 2 red bell pepper rings on top of each pork loin. Put about 1 ounce of mozzarella inside each bell pepper ring. Put lid back on and cook at medium-high heat for about 4 minutes or until cheese starts to melt.

TIDBITS

1) This recipe has sage, rosemary, and thyme in it.

2) Dagnab it. No parsley! I was so close to making a dish with “parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme.”

3) This line is from the famous Simon and Garfunkel song, which was also a medieval ballad.

4) Much thought has gone in the meaning of the four spices in this song.

5) Three schools of thought predominate.

6) First school believes mixing parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme together makes a love charm. Before you stampede the local supermarket, remember that we no longer believe this… Oh what the heck, go for it!

7) Second school notes that these ingredients were used in Four Thieves Vinegar to ward off the Plague.

8) The third school of thought says, “I dunno.”

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, humor, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Thai Burger Wrap

Posted on October 20, 2012 by pauldelancey

Thai Entree

THAI BURGER WRAP

INGREDIENTS

1 1/2 pounds turkey meat
1 medium carrot, about 1/4 cup
3 stalks green onions, about 1/4 cup
1/4 teaspoon sesame oil
1/2 teaspoon chili powder
2 garlic cloves
1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
2 tablespoons smooth peanut butter
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon pepper
1/2 tablespoon peanut oil
1/4 cup fresh cilantro
2 teaspoons mayonnaise

romaine or iceberg lettuce

PREPARATION

Mix top ingredients thoroughly by hand. Make patties. Fry patties on medium-high heat for about 5 minutes, flipping them once. Wrap patty with a leaf of romaine lettuce. Wash hands before greeting dinner guests, likable or not.

TIDBITS

1) Steve Martin was a romaine-lettuce salesman appearing on a Saturday Night Live takeoff of Family Feud.

2) Thailand used to be called Siam. The musical, The King and I, was set in Thailand. The non-fiction book, on which it was based, is much more serious in tone.

3) Thailand was never conquered by the Europeans.

4) At one time, Thailand’s new army officers were required to master golf.

5) Golf is a good way to learn cussing.

6) There is no 6).

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Aigo Boulido Soup From Forthcoming Cookbook

Posted on October 19, 2012 by pauldelancey

French Soup

AÏGO BOULIDO

INGREDIENTS

1 head or bulb of garlic (The number of cloves will vary.)
2 cups water
4 thin slices of French bread (Baguette style is best.)
4 tablespoons grated Pecorino Romano cheese (Plain Romano cheese will do. And yes, Italian cheeses are allowed in a French dish.)
1 bay leaf
1/2 teaspoon sage
1/2 teaspoon olive oil

(Makes two bowls)

PREPARATION

Peel and mince all the cloves in the head of garlic. (If the number of cloves in the head of garlic varies from head to head, will the intensity of the garlic taste vary as well? Yes, it will. Either way, this is a dish best eaten after a job interview.)

Pour 2 cups water into pot. Add minced garlic and cook on high for 15 minutes. Keep lid on to avoid evaporation. Monitor occasionally to avoid boiling over. Add bay leaf and sage. Stir.

While the garlic and water is cooking for 15 minutes, toast four slices of bread. Try to cut them as thin as you would for a sandwich. Sprinkle olive oil on both sides of toasted slices. Sprinkle 1/2 tablespoon Pecorino cheese on each side of each slice. Do this over a soup bowl so that the cheese that doesn’t stick on the bread falls into the bowl.

Put two bread slices into each of two bowls. Pour garlic/water mix into bowls. Add 1/4 teaspoon olive oil to the surface of the soup, but don’t mix it in.

Bon goût.

TIDBITS

1) “Taste great, less filling” translates into French as “Bon goût, moins de remplissage.” Not as catchy, is it?

2) Foreign cookbooks can be so darned vague. Augh! Augh! Augh! There, I feel better now. I hope this version is clear.

3) The French sure like garlic and onions. Mais oui.

4) The average American eats about twenty-one pounds of onion a year. Libya leads the world with an average of sixty-seven pounds per person per year.

5) America is a robust republic. Culinary political analysts fear the new Libyan republic will be on shaky ground unless it brings its per capita onion consumption below fifty pounds.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Baked Garlic Squash From Forthcoming Cookbook

Posted on October 18, 2012 by pauldelancey

American Entree

BAKED GARLIC SQUASH

INGREDIENTS

1 big butternut squash
2 tablespoons butter
1/4 cup olive oil
1 1/2 teaspoons fresh parsley
2 garlic cloves
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon Vegetable MagicTM
1/2 teaspoon herbes de Provence
1/3 cup grated Parmesan cheese

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Cut off skin of squash. Remove pulpy bottom of squash and discard. (Put in recycling bin if your community recycles squash pulp.) Cut remaining squash into one-inch cubes. Melt butter. Mince garlic cloves.

Mix butter, olive oil, parsley, garlic, salt, vegetable spice, herbes de Provence, and Parmesan cheese in 2-quart baking dish. Add squash cubes. Stir and turn cubes until they are well coated with the mix.

Bake dish at 425 degrees for about 50 minutes or until squash is tender.

TIDBITS

1) Don’t waste this tasty dish on kids who might look at it and say, “Ew, squash. I don’t like squash. I won’t eat it.” Good. More for you.

2) The USDA said that a 3/4 bushel of small, Georgian yellow crookneck squash costs from $8.00 to $10.35.

3) Some raw squashes can make men jealous. They’re probably the ones that cost $10.35.

4) Squash is a fruit and was never reclassified by the Reagan administration to become a vegetable.

5) George Washington enjoyed growing butternut squash. It is doubtful that our Revolutionary War against England would have been won without him.

5) The Confederate soldiers in the Army of the Tennessee were called “butternuts” because used dye from the butternut walnut to color their uniforms. The South lost the Civil War.

6) The popularity of the butternut walnut declined forever in the post-war South.

7) Well, it could have happened.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Salsa!

Posted on October 17, 2012 by pauldelancey

Mexican Appetizer

SALSA!

INGREDIENTS

1 large red tomato
1/2 onion
1/2 green chile
1 jalapeño chile
2 tablespoons fresh cilantro
3 avocados
1/2 garlic clove or one small one
1/2 teaspoon olive oil
1/2 tablespoon lime juice
2 tablespoons lemon juice
2 1/4 teaspoons cider vinegar
1/2 teaspoon oregano
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon black pepper

Makes 1 quart of delicious salsa.

PREPARATION

Dice tomatoes, onion, green chile, jalapeño, cilantro and avocados. Mince garlic clove. Mix these ingredients in large bowl with whisk. Add olive oil, lime juice, vinegar, oregano, salt, and black pepper. Mix again with fork or whisk.

Serve with tortilla chips, rolled corn tortillas with beans, or by itself.

This is a forgiving dish. It is easy to add more of any ingredient at any time to improve the taste. (No, don’t add lutefisk, noooooo!)

TIDBITS

1) Authentic salsa is always fresh.

2) Salsa is a type of music. Ketchup is not.

3) Salsa, the movie, was made in 1988 and directed by Boaz Davidson. Leonard Maltin gives it two out of four stars.

4) The Old Testament’s Book of Ruth has Boaz marrying Ruth after some cloak spreading. The movie, Story of Ruth, was made in 1960 and starred Stuart Whitman. Leonard Maltin gives it 2.5 stars.

5) Stuart Whitman was more well known for his movie roles as a cowboy such as in the 1961 movie, The Comancheros.

6) It’s unclear even after on-line search if Stuart Whitman liked salsa.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Fish-Stick Fajitas

Posted on October 14, 2012 by pauldelancey

Mexican Entree

FISH-STICK FAJITAS

INGREDIENTS

12 fish frozen sticks
2 garlic cloves
1 medium white onion
1 green bell pepper
1 yellow bell pepper
1 red bell pepper
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
2 teaspoons lime juice
1/4 teaspoon TabascoTM sauce
1 teaspoon red chili powder
1 teaspoon cumin
1/2 teaspoon coriander
3/4 teaspoon Seafood MagicTM spice
6 small flour tortillas
1/2 cup shredded Four Mexican cheeses

UTENSILS

No-stick frying pan
A lazy Susan, about 24 inches across, if you can find one.

PREPARATION

Cook fish sticks according to instructions on package. Use food processor to mince garlic cloves. Use knife to slice the onion and all bell peppers into rings. Then cut rings into fourths.

Pour vegetable oil and lime juice into no-stick frying pan. Cook on medium-high heat. Saute one at a time the following ingredients: onion, green bell pepper, yellow bell pepper, and red bell pepper. (Saute means to leap in French. You will leap too if the oil gets on you. Always be careful.) Put each ingredient in its own bowl. Put bowls on lazy Susan, again if you have one. Add more vegetable oil and lime juice if you run out while sauteing all the ingredients.

Whisk together in small bowl: chili powder, cumin, coriander, and Seafood spice. Apportion equally over the onion and bell-pepper bowls. Put an equal amount of TabascoTM sauce, about two drops in each bowl.

Heat each tortilla in microwave for 12 seconds. Put a tortilla with 2 fish sticks on each plate. Let the guests take as much of the onions and bell peppers as desired.

TIDBITS

1) Many believe Sonny Falcon operated the first fajita stand in Texas in 1969.

2) The word “fajita” entered the Oxford English Dictionary in 1971. Way to go, Falcon.

3) So, fajitas are not technically Mexican, but Tex-Mex.

4) TabascoTM sauce is not Mexican either. It comes from Avery Island in Louisiana and is used extensively in Cajun food.

5) The TabascoTM company was formed by the McIlhenny family, presumably not Mexicans, in 1868.

6) Mr. McIlhenny’s first instinct was to name it “Petite Anse Sauce,” but everyone else objected. Good for them.

7) Before 1863, the family made its fortune from the salt mines on Avery Island. However, in that year, Union soldiers destroyed the mines, leaving only a crop of hot peppers. Those peppers became the genesis of the TabascoTM company.

8) So, a lot of culinary good came out of the Civil War.

9) You should visit the TabascoTM factory on Avery Island. Don’t leave without going through the island’s Jungle Gardens, which boasts of a wonderful collection of flowers, birds, and alligators which can scoot as fast as 25 mph.

10) Only the alligators there scurry up to 25 mph. Don’t infer from the last sentence of 9) that flowers in Avery, Louisiana can move that fast. Flowers there and indeed everywhere else in that state are rather sedentary.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Tomato Drop Soup

Posted on October 11, 2012 by pauldelancey

American Soup

TOMATO DROP SOUP

INGREDIENTS

1 10.75 ounce can condensed tomato soup
10.75 ounces of any water from tap to bottles from Norwegian glaciers
1/2 teaspoon Vegetable MagicTM spice
1/2 teaspoon garlic salt
2 large eggs
3/4 cups Monterey Jack cheese

PREPARATION

Pour condensed soup in pot. (This is easy on a planet with gravity.) Fill empty tomato can with water. Pour water into pot. Sprinkle in vegetable spice and garlic salt. Stir and heat at medium-to-high temperature. Add the eggs as soon as the soup looks like it’s fixing to boil. For consistency’s sake, make sure you break the yolks after you put them in. Stir in the cheese.

Soup is ready to serve when egg yolks are done and cheese is melted. This is so easy. Try it.

TIDBITS

1) This dish is called “Tomato Drop Soup” because you could drop everything into the tomato soup base. I do not, however, recommend dropping the raw eggs into the soup at any great height. Hot soup does nasty things to your skin when it splatters onto you.

2) The cans listed at 10.75 used to be 11 ounces. They might have been 12 ounces at one point. Soup companies and canners in general often prefer to shrink their products rather than raise prices. Fine, but we recipe writers and readers hate this practice.

3) Now that I’m in a slightly foul mood, let me rant about the chickens’ complete inability to lay even the simplest of fractional eggs such as 1/2. I might have made this recipe with 1 1/2 eggs, but the lazy chickens pig-headedly lay entire eggs.

4) When my mother was a young girl, her mother raised chickens. Often Grandma would let the chickens peck for their own food in the backyard lawn. Since the grass was normally too high for the chickens, Grandpa would cut half the lawn one week, as that was all the lawn the chickens needed to inspect, and half the next week. Mom grew up thinking that’s how everyone mowed their lawns.

5) Once rain water got into the chicken feed. The feed fermented. The chickens ate the fermented feed. The chickens got drunk and staggered around, often falling. That would have been something to see.

6) I wonder if that counts as marinating the chickens.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Prestigious “Nobody Attends” Event to be Held in Barrow, Alaska on October 16

Posted on October 10, 2012 by pauldelancey

If you wish to attend by not attending, please RSVP by: 
e-mailing paulthehero@yahoo.com, commenting on
this blog, or commenting in Facebook on the event
“Nobody Attends.” We are pleased to announce the
musical legend Paul McCartney is highly likely to not
attend and may be persuaded to not sing for us.
Remember the event’s slogan:

“We’re not here because we’re not all there.”

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: humor, obsevations | Tags: , , , , , | Leave a comment

Machaca Burrito

Posted on October 10, 2012 by pauldelancey

Mexican Entree

MACHACA BURRITO
(Allow 2 to 8 hours to prepare.)

INGREDIENTS

MARINADE

1/2 tablespoon soy sauce
1/2 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
1 tablespoons water
2 tablespoons lime juice
2 garlic cloves
1/2 serrano chile
1/8 teaspoon black pepper
1/8 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon coriander
1/8 teaspoon Meat MagicTM spice
2 teaspoons peanut oil
2 teaspoons vegetable oil

COOKING THE MEAT

1 1/2 pounds skirt steak (Use flap steak if your butcher doesn’t have skirt steak. Don’t let your sweetheart catch you chasing skirt around town.)

1/2 onion
1/2 green bell pepper
1/2 red bell pepper
1 serrano chiles
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
1/2 cup beef broth
1 7 ounce can diced tomatoes
1/4 teaspoon oregano
1/8 teaspoon cumin
1/8 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon pepper

ASSEMBLY

5 large flour tortillas
5 tablespoons sour cream
2 1/2 tablespoons salsa
5 lime wedges
1 1/2 teaspoons fresh cilantro

PREPARATION

This is a dish that proves your dedication as a chef. Lots of ingredients and preparation, but lots of prestige as well. Go for it! Excelsior.

MARINATING STAGE (to be done up to 8 hours before cooking, if you have the time. This will improve the taste.)

Cut the skirt steak into 3 1-pound pieces; this is the traditional way. (The Powegian way is to immediately cut the steak into strips 1/2-inch wide by about 2-inches long. We Powegians have always been culinary rebels.) Mince the garlic cloves. Remove the stem and seeds, and insides of the serrano chiles. Mince the remaining outside of the chiles.

Combine the soy sauce, Worcestershire sauce, water, lime juice, garlic, serrano chile, salt, coriander, meat spice, peanut oil, and vegetable oil in big mixing bowl. Put the steak strips in the bowl of marinade. Be sure to thoroughly coat each strip. If you can, completely seal the mixing bowl with a plastic wrap cover and refrigerate for at least 8 hours. (Omigosh, are you late for work? Run!)

COOKING STAGE (Takes at least 2 hours. Did you call in sick so you could make this dish?)

Meanwhile back at the range things are heating up. (Once again employment makes the marinating stage pass quickly. That’s why we go to work.) Dice the onion, red pepper, green pepper, and outsides of two serrano peppers.

Coat the bottom of a large pot with 4 tablespoons vegetable oil. Cook it at medium-heat until hot. Gradually add and sear strips of steak. (Searing means to quickly cook the surfaces of a piece of meat so that it will retain juices in later, slower cooking.) Put seared steak strips aside on a platter. Leave the liquid and any tiny bits of steak in pot for next stage. Don’t throw away flavor!

Add onion, red pepper, green pepper, and serrano peppers to same pan. Saute for 5 minutes. Add beef broth, tomatoes, oregano, cumin, salt, and pepper. Mix thoroughly. Add the marinated meat strips and juice to the pot. Heat at medium-high heat until it boils. (Kick out of the kitchen anyone who disagrees with your definition of boiling. You are the chef. You know.) Cover the pot and simmer for 2 hours.

If your skirt steak is still in three pieces, let it cool down on a cutting board. Now, using two forks or your fingers, shred the meat. Put the shredded steak back in the pot. Stir thoroughly and cook until most of the liquid has evaporated. (Unless, you prefer the Powegian style where the excess juice makes an excellent soup. Ah, Poway!)

ASSEMBLY STAGE

Warm the tortillas in a microwave. Put about 4 tablespoons steak mixture in the center top of the tortilla. Add, if desired, a tablespoon sour cream, a 1/2 tablespoon salsa, and a 1/2 teaspoon of diced cilantro. Take a lime wedge and squirt lime juice on top of the meat.

Fold in the tortilla’s two sides until they touch. Roll from the top of the tortilla down. Repeat this process 10 times and you will have 10 machaca burritos. And if you did recipe the Powegian way, you will have machaca soup as well. Olé.

TIDBITS

1) All recipes demand fresh ingredients such as fresh cilantro. But let’s face it, there WILL be times when you find your blood pressure soaring as you need to go back to the store for the 32nd time for another missing, fresh ingredient. Or worse, your sweetheart has gone shopping for those 31 times and is muttering about going to Home Depot to buy a stainless steel Lizzie BordenTM ax. In moments such as these, it is best to take a more relaxed view of cooking and reach for that small bottle of dried parsley.

2) Just remember one amount of a dried spice usually equals three amounts of fresh spice. This one bit of culinary knowledge has saved countless marriages and lives.

3) It’s also a good idea to scan each recipe all the way through for key words such as “marinade for 8 hours” or “simmer for 2 hours” and allot at least 10 hours for cooking. Do not, do not, try to butter your boss up for a raise with this dish and expect to start cooking an hour before dinner time.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.