Posts Tagged With: thriller

The Great Latch Hook Project – Part 10

Yesterday, I finished the Great Latch Hook Project. I started around the beginning of the year. It took 8,740 hooks. I went through major delays from May to now, due to Covid and surgery. But now, it’s mounted in a frame. I persevered.

Go me.

Great Latch Hook Project #10 – 8/21/24

 

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: latch hook | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

I am This Computer Old

Are you this old?

Everybody who uses computers is cloud-and- USB old, but some of us are older than that.

Some people are 3½” hard diskette old, but some of us older than that.

Some folks are 5½” floppy disk old, but some of us are older than that.

Some men and women are punch-card old,  but I am older that!

I am punch-tape old.

“Look upon input sources, ye mighty, and despair.”*

* = If Ozymandias had been a computer geek.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

Categories: about me, observations | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I Did Not Medal in the Olympics

I did not medal in the Olympics.

I forgot to write my trials on the calendar.

The officials there disqualified me for not showing.

One day I’ll be over 70

And be past my prime.

I am bereft of joy.

Paris is no longer the City of Lights for me.

Poetry is hard.

I need a taco.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: sports | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

How Road Repair Companies Can Save Money

dummy World War II tank

We’ve also suffered from road construction, sidewalk repairs, etc. that turn major mult-lane roads into one lane with barely moving cars. You know in your hearts that these road-repair companies (RRCs) could complete their jobs in a month. But they don’t. They let the job linger for a year or more.

Why do they do this? They’re petrified of having no job or projects. So they bid on and win several projects. They haven’t the manpower to finish all the projects at once. So they move their few crews from one site to another. This means that most projects will not have crews working on them. But it looks bad, if the RRC doesn’t even pretend to work on a site.

What do they do then? They park backhoes, steamrollers, and other big truck at the unattended road repairs. And they leave there and they leave them there and they leave them there. Doesn’t it cost the RRC a lot of money to buy enough big trucks to leave at seventeen unworked sites?

Yes, it does! This is where my brilliant ideas comes in. The RRC contacts a firm that makes bouncy castles and asks them to fabricate inflatable construction vehicles. (The allies built dummy tanks  during World War II to fool the Germans.) Similarly, the RRC then leaves their dummy construction trucks at their unworked sites. An inflatable steamroller would cost ever so much less than a real one and it looks real to the bored drivers crawling past them for fourteenth month. The RRC will save a fortune.

This idea is easy, even if getting the RRC to finish a job is not.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

Categories: face of evil, observations | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Grape Freezer Jam

American Breakfast

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GRAPE FREEZER JAM

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INGREDIENTS
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2 cups fresh, crushed grapes (about 1 pound whole)*
3½ tablespoons lemon juice
4 cups sugar
¾ cup water
6 tablespoons or 1.75-ounce box fruit pectin powder)
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SPECIAL UTENSILS
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potato masher or food processor
5 * 1-cup hot, sterilized Mason jars (They really must be hot and newly sterilized.)
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Makes 5-cups. Takes 1 hour plus 1-to-2 hours to set.
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PREPARATION* – (Assuming, as is likely, you can’t find crushed grapes to buy)
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Cut grapes in half. Remove stems and seeds from grapes. Smash grape halves with potato masher until thoroughly crushed. (Or add bits to food processor. Pulse processor until thoroughly crushed, but not yet pureed. Some grape bits should remain.)
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Add grape and lemon juice to large mixing bowl. Mix with fork until well blended. Add sugar. Mix with whisk until sugar dissolves completely. (Undissolved sugar makes the jam grainy.)
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Add water and pectin to small pan. Bring to boil using heat. Stir constantly. Boil for 1 minute, stirring constantly. Pour boiling water over grape/sugar mix. Stir constantly for 3 minutes. The mixture should start to jell and thicken.
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Pour grape mixture into Mason jars. Leave ½” gap at the top. Stir until grape bits and juice gel and blend. Cover and let stand for 1-to-2 hours or until set. (Not longer than 12 hours.) If desired, serve some immediately. Store the rest in the refrigerator for 3 weeks or in the freezer for up to 1 year.
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TIDBITS
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1) Sorry, this tidbit isn’t funny. But I am quite proud that I wrote this recipe and then made it. This is my first recipe since getting Covid, a severe ear infection, and surgery back to back to back.
2) Okay, I have space for a joke. Q: How many 1-cup Mason jars filled with grape jam does it take to change a light bulb? A: 122, but it’s far safer to use a step ladder. Ha, ha, ha!
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Weight Loss Through Anti-Fat Matter

welcomes scientific advancement

The universe is composed of matter and  anti-matter. When anti-matter contacts matter, matter disappears.

It stands to reason that our universe (Three cheers for it, hurray, hurray, hurray) is also made up of fat matter and anti-fat matter. Then when anti-fat matter collides with fat matter, fat disappears. All we need to do is find anti-fat matter. I applaud this search.

Such instantaneous disappearance of fat would be much preferable to dreary, difficult diets.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: science, Secrets of the Universe | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Misheard Lyrics of Nat King Cole

Is there anything more soothing than listening to the magnficent Nat King Cole?

His magnificent voice transfers us to a happier world.

Well, no.

Only if you hear the correct lyrics.

The true lyrics for the song “For Sentimental Reasons”  include:

“I love you
For sentimental reasons
I hope you do believe me
I’ll give you my heart”

And now the misheard lyrics which change the meaning to a love song between archeologists.

Misheard Lyrics #21

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: misheard | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

My Good Day

My stunt double

Woke up. Feel out of bed.

Number Two Son announced he passed the last two tests necessary to get a CPA. Huzzah! I am so proud.

Did finances.

Did errands. Made my first long drive since having surgery. Go me.

Went to my arts and crafts class which was also a baby shower. The mom to be was so pleased that so many people showed up and that she received so many nice gifts.

I finished the Charlie Brown latch-hook project that I started some six months back. Go me.

Made the long drive back.

Good day.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: about me | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

My Day Today

I made corned beef and a strawberry smoothie. These aren’t big things, but it was the first time since surgery that I felt up to doing them. I also went for a short walk. Go me.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

Categories: about me | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Wanda Wunder Wonders About Brain Cells

Wanda Wunder #43

 

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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Wanda Wunder | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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