Posts Tagged With: thriller

Become Soft Spoken in Just Ten Days

Is this you?

Do people at restaurants move to tables farther away from you?

Do you routinely get booted out of libraries?

Are you banned from meditation centers?

Does your spouse wear earplugs around the house?

Do you get shushed in bowling alleys?

Well, you’re too freaking LOUD.

What to do? I’m glad you asked.

Take Dr. De Lancey’s course, Become Soft Spoken in Just Ten Days. Results guaranteed,

Do it for their ears. Do it now.

Dr. Paul De Lancey
Become Soft Spoken in Just Ten Days

 

“My husband and I took Dr. De Lancey’s course, Become Soft Spoken in Just Ten Days and now we can’t hear each other. Our marriage has never been better. Thank  you, Dr. De Lancey.”
– Ms. Hurd in Washington, D.C.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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On the Phone and Getting Transferred

On the Phone #3

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Financial Goals

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Moctezuma Cheese Soup

Mexican Soup

MOCTEZUMA CHEESE SOUP

 

INGREDIENTS

10 ounces queso quesadilla jalapeno (queso = cheese)
½ cup Crema Mexicana (sour cream)
¼ cup grated Four Mexican cheeses
¼ cup water
½ tsp cumin
¼ tsp cayenne

PREPARATION

(Wave your wand and ask that this home-cooked meal be magically cooked by the mythical tomtes of Sweden. Nothing will happen. There are no tumptes and if there were, they would be busy conjuring up Swedish dishes. So you’re on your own. Fortunately, this dish is easy. Are you? I’m too much of a gentleman to ask.)

Anyway, crumble the queso quesadilla jalapeno and put it in a soup pot. Add Crema Mexicana, Four Mexican Cheeses, water, cumin, and cayenne. As mentioned in other parts of this cookbook, you might not have the exact ingredient or don’t want to go to the store again. Again, substitute, substitute, substitute. For example, you can use plain sour cream instead of Crema Mexicana and a can of nacho cheese soup for queso quesadilla jalapeno.

Cook soup on medium-high heat until hot and thoroughly blended. This also makes a nice dip.

TIDBITS

1) This soup is named after the hometown of my grandmother. She married my grandfather who was a surveyor and a lieutenant with the engineers in World War I.

2) My grandfather and his fellow surveyors accidentally started a forest fire in northern Mexico. I would love to have heard the whole story on that one.

3) My grandmother’s grandfather was a doctor who came to Mexico from Missouri after the Civil War. He couldn’t cotton to the Union victory.

4) Her son, my father, and his friends from college went to Mexico during Spring break. Somehow mattresses in the back of their pickup truck caught on fire and kept catching on fire.

5) I went to Calexico with a friend of mine from grad school. An hour after we crossed back into the U.S., a candidate for the Presidency of Mexico was assassinated in Tijuana. I would like to stress I had been in Calexico, not Tijuana, and had been in America already for one hour.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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You Need to See a Tiger Cub

And so do I. Don’t you want to pet it? And with a photo, there’s no fiercely protective, real life mama tiger around. So it’s all good.

You need to see #27

 

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Yoga Woman on Gas Mileage

Yoga Instructor #6

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Jamaican Mild Red Beans and Rice

Jamaican Entree

MILD RED BEANS AND RICE

INGREDIENTS

1½ tablespoons olive oil
1 white onion
3 garlic cloves
2 stalks green onion
3 cups cooked brown rice
2 15-ounce cans small red beans
1 15-ounce can unsweetened coconut milk
1 tablespoon brown sugar
1 teaspoon allspice
½ teaspoon thyme
½ teaspoon sea salt
¼ teaspoon pepper

PREPARATION

Cook rice as directed on package.

Drain cans of red beans. Mince white onion, garlic cloves, and green onion. Heat oil in pot. Add white onion, garlic, and green onion. Cook on medium-low heat until white onion is soft and is starting to turn golden.

Add rice, beans, coconut milk, brown sugar, allspice, thyme, salt, and pepper. Cook for about 15 minutes on medium-low heat until rice absorbs most of the coconut milk. The rice and beans should be moist.

This dish can be made as spicy as you want. Jamaicans often add Scotch bonnet pepper which is one of the hottest peppers in the world. This spice is also hard to find.

TIDBITS

1) Jamaicans like to cook with allspice.

2) Swedes like to cook with allspice.

3) The Mayans of Mexico built vast stone temples and cities. They were superb ancient astronomers.

4) The Mayans also loved allspice.

5) My grandmother always cooked with allspice.

6) Eva, a Swedish friend of my mother, said allspice was, “nature’s spice.”

7) Where did this tidbit go?

8) The evidence has amounted to such a point that we must conclude that ancient mariners carried themselves and allspice all over Europe and North America.

9) But in which direction? America to Europe or vice versa?

10) There is no evidence that ancient Mayans or Jamaicans ever crossed the Atlantic Ocean.

11) However, there is considerable evidence through sagas and the unearthed remains of a Viking village in L’Anse Aux Meadows, Newfoundland that Vikings visited and settled the New World.

12) Thus, we must conclude that the Caribbean and the eastern part of North America were not only discovered and populated by ancient Swedes, but were culinarily enhanced as well.

13) The discoverer of America was Leif Ericson.

14) My grandmother’s name was Erickson.

15) My ancestors discovered America.

16) My it’s been a long time in the hot kitchen.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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You Keep Using the Words Unusually and Heavy

From your friends in customer service. This time it was the government.

Fancy all those people who couldn’t get a reply via email, wanting to call.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook,  Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on  amazon.com.

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Angry Man Rants About Passwords

This struggle is eternal with me.

Angry Man #18

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Mexican Pizza

Mexican Entree

MEXICAN PIZZA

INGREDIENTS

PIZZA CRUST (If you have a bread maker or buy at store)

3 cups all-purpose flour
1 cup water
2 ½ tablespoons vegetable oil
¾ teaspoon sugar
¾ teaspoon salt
2 ½ teaspoons active dry yeast
no-stick cooking spray

TOPPING

1 cup or ½ pound ground beef
1 teaspoon cumin
½ small onion
⅓ green bell pepper
½ cup diced green chile
1 cup diced tomatoes in sauce
1 cup grated Four Mexican cheeses.
Pasta sauce (½ cup or more)

SPECIAL UTENSIL

pizza pan

PREPARATION OF PIZZA CRUST
Measure out the flour and set aside. Pour the water into the bread maker. If you measure the water before the flour, the flour will stick to the sides of the measuring cup. Egads!

Add oil, sugar, salt, and yeast to the bread maker. Do not put the yeast directly on top of the salt. Salt is bad for yeast and yeast makes the dough rise.

Set the timer or the menu on the bread maker to “Dough.” Wait the required time, probably a bit more than an hour. In the meantime, organize your tax-receipts, preheat the oven to 400 degrees and liberally spray the pizza pan with no-stick spray. This will prevent the crust from forming a glue-like bond with the pan.

Take the dough out of the bread maker and roll it out until the dough covers the pizza pan. If you do not possess a rolling pin, any food can will do as long as it is at least 6 inches tall. It is best to spray the can or coat it with a thin layer of flour before spreading the dough.

After rolling, let the dough sit and rise for 30-to-60 minutes. Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

PREPARATION OF TOPPING

While the bread maker is making the dough, dice the onion (Does anyone juggle onions professionally?) and green pepper. Don’t liquefy them. The green and white of these ingredients along with the red of the tomatoes will give you the colors of the Mexican flag. Olé.

Cook the ground beef on medium-high heat until it is no longer pink. Taste and see if you want to add more spice.

Apply tomatoes in sauce to pizza crust slowly and spread evenly until you have a thin layer of sauce over the whole pizza. Remove any excess as too much sauce will make your pizza soggy.

Spoon ground beef, onion, bell pepper, chile, tomatoes, and cheeses evenly over the pizza.

Bake pizza for about 20 minutes or until cheese is golden brown. Depending on the efficiency of your oven you will probably want to check your pizza after 12 minutes and every few minutes after that.

Arriba. Arriba.

TIDBITS

1) The ancient Greeks covered their bread with oil, herbs, and cheese.

2) The first time I saw Mexican pizza was about ten years ago at a Taco Bell(tm).

3) Cinco de Mayo, May 5, celebrates a Mexican victory over a French army. It is a minor holiday in Mexico. However, in America, it has become a major “Drink Mexican Beer” day.

4) My birthday is May 5. When I was little, I was always quite grateful to Mexicans everywhere for celebrating my birthday. One of the greatest illusions of my life. I still hang onto this one, a little.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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