Posts Tagged With: robbers

Crabmeat Stuffed Avocados

Chilean Entree

CRABMEAT STUFFED AVOCADOS

INGREDIENTS

2 large avocados
6 ounces crabmeat
2 tablespoons minced bell pepper
2 tablespoons minced celery
2 teaspoons lemon juice
¼ cup mayonnaise
⅛ teaspoon pepper
¼ teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon minced shallot or onion
4 leaves lettuce
6 olives

Serves 4. Takes 35 minutes.

PREPARATION

Peel avocados and cut them in half lengthwise. Remove pits. Add crabmeat, bell pepper, celery, lemon juice, mayonnaise, pepper, salt, and shallot to mixing bowl. Mix with fork until crab mix is well blended. Shred lettuce.

Arrange lettuce evenly over 4 plates. Fill avocado hollows with crab mix. Top avocado halves with neat little mounds of remaining crab mix. Cut olives in half. Garnish each avocado half with 3 olive haves. Place filled-and-topped avocado halves on shredded lettuce.

TIDBITS

1) The early peoples of Central America subsisted on avocados. The tribes living along the Pacific coast of South America lived on potatoes. Naturally, no one likes to eat only potatoes or even just avocados. So, soon a lively avocado-potato trade developed. Then culinary ingenuity propelled these peoples into a golden age with the harnessing of corn into tortillas. Before long a brilliant mind, Chef Ozomatli, constructed the first potato taquito with guacamole sauce.

2) This golden age didn’t last. Robbers ambushed the potato and avocado traders. To meet this threat, the great Aztec empire arose around Mexico. Its armies threw volley after volley of avocado pits at the heads of the robber gangs until the thieves broke and fled. The Incan warrior, however, was invulnerable in his suit of potatoes. These innovations were enough to maintain the great empires until the arrival of the musket carrying, metal-armor wearing Conquistadors.

3) In desperation, local chieftains attempted to attack the Spanish fleets by making canoes out of gigantic avocados. Unfortunately, crabs ate these vessels as soon as they put out to sea. Resistance collapsed. Spain would rule this corner of the world for 300 years. This dish commemorates the destruction of the avocado fleets by the crabs. So some good came out of all this turmoil.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Putting Our Dead-Beat Ghosts To Work

For too long American ghosts have been living the high life feasting on our psychic energy.

What do these ghosts give us in return? ghostNothing, and that’s bad for us living folks. And truly, subsisting on stealing our psychic energy has to be demoralizing to these ghosts who haven’t done an honest day’s work in their deaths.

Likewise, it’s time for us the living to get over our prejudice over hiring dead workers.  Let’s face it, being dead is one of life’s truly enduring resume stains. Can you recall even one instance of a ghost getting a job over an able-bodied person. I though not.

But it needn’t be this way. There are many jobs that ghosts can do better than the living. Please consider:

1) Hiring ghosts as security guards. They’d scare the heck out of robbers and even if tempted wouldn’t be able to cart away your valuables.

2) Use them as night lights. Look at how the eyes of the young woman in this picture. See how they glow. Don’t you want a little bit of light when you need to visit the bathroom at 3 am?

3) They’d be great for the CIA. They can fly anywhere, pass through  and spy on anyone without being seen.

4) They’d be superb scouts for our armed forces. Even if caught–and how would that happen–how could any enemy kill them?

5) They could periodically check inside our nuclear reactors for leaks. What could radiation do to them? Many ghosts already glow a bit.

6) Nighttime security. Living people hate working at night and by themselves. Ghosts love it.

Ghosts and people working together. It’s a win-win situation.

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Still time to enter the *Bump Off Your Enemies* Literary Event
Hosted by Candace C. Bowen and me, Paul R. De Lancey
https://www.facebook.com/events/501973503178459/

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: humor | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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