Posts Tagged With: Paul R. De Lancey

Moctezuma Cheese Soup

Mexican Soup

MOCTEZUMA CHEESE SOUP

 

INGREDIENTS

10 ounces queso quesadilla jalapeno (queso = cheese)
½ cup Crema Mexicana (sour cream)
¼ cup grated Four Mexican cheeses
¼ cup water
½ tsp cumin
¼ tsp cayenne

PREPARATION

(Wave your wand and ask that this home-cooked meal be magically cooked by the mythical tomtes of Sweden. Nothing will happen. There are no tumptes and if there were, they would be busy conjuring up Swedish dishes. So you’re on your own. Fortunately, this dish is easy. Are you? I’m too much of a gentleman to ask.)

Anyway, crumble the queso quesadilla jalapeno and put it in a soup pot. Add Crema Mexicana, Four Mexican Cheeses, water, cumin, and cayenne. As mentioned in other parts of this cookbook, you might not have the exact ingredient or don’t want to go to the store again. Again, substitute, substitute, substitute. For example, you can use plain sour cream instead of Crema Mexicana and a can of nacho cheese soup for queso quesadilla jalapeno.

Cook soup on medium-high heat until hot and thoroughly blended. This also makes a nice dip.

TIDBITS

1) This soup is named after the hometown of my grandmother. She married my grandfather who was a surveyor and a lieutenant with the engineers in World War I.

2) My grandfather and his fellow surveyors accidentally started a forest fire in northern Mexico. I would love to have heard the whole story on that one.

3) My grandmother’s grandfather was a doctor who came to Mexico from Missouri after the Civil War. He couldn’t cotton to the Union victory.

4) Her son, my father, and his friends from college went to Mexico during Spring break. Somehow mattresses in the back of their pickup truck caught on fire and kept catching on fire.

5) I went to Calexico with a friend of mine from grad school. An hour after we crossed back into the U.S., a candidate for the Presidency of Mexico was assassinated in Tijuana. I would like to stress I had been in Calexico, not Tijuana, and had been in America already for one hour.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Yoga Woman on Gas Mileage

Yoga Instructor #6

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Angry Man Rants About Passwords

This struggle is eternal with me.

Angry Man #18

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Mexican Pizza

Mexican Entree

MEXICAN PIZZA

INGREDIENTS

PIZZA CRUST (If you have a bread maker or buy at store)

3 cups all-purpose flour
1 cup water
2 ½ tablespoons vegetable oil
¾ teaspoon sugar
¾ teaspoon salt
2 ½ teaspoons active dry yeast
no-stick cooking spray

TOPPING

1 cup or ½ pound ground beef
1 teaspoon cumin
½ small onion
⅓ green bell pepper
½ cup diced green chile
1 cup diced tomatoes in sauce
1 cup grated Four Mexican cheeses.
Pasta sauce (½ cup or more)

SPECIAL UTENSIL

pizza pan

PREPARATION OF PIZZA CRUST
Measure out the flour and set aside. Pour the water into the bread maker. If you measure the water before the flour, the flour will stick to the sides of the measuring cup. Egads!

Add oil, sugar, salt, and yeast to the bread maker. Do not put the yeast directly on top of the salt. Salt is bad for yeast and yeast makes the dough rise.

Set the timer or the menu on the bread maker to “Dough.” Wait the required time, probably a bit more than an hour. In the meantime, organize your tax-receipts, preheat the oven to 400 degrees and liberally spray the pizza pan with no-stick spray. This will prevent the crust from forming a glue-like bond with the pan.

Take the dough out of the bread maker and roll it out until the dough covers the pizza pan. If you do not possess a rolling pin, any food can will do as long as it is at least 6 inches tall. It is best to spray the can or coat it with a thin layer of flour before spreading the dough.

After rolling, let the dough sit and rise for 30-to-60 minutes. Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

PREPARATION OF TOPPING

While the bread maker is making the dough, dice the onion (Does anyone juggle onions professionally?) and green pepper. Don’t liquefy them. The green and white of these ingredients along with the red of the tomatoes will give you the colors of the Mexican flag. Olé.

Cook the ground beef on medium-high heat until it is no longer pink. Taste and see if you want to add more spice.

Apply tomatoes in sauce to pizza crust slowly and spread evenly until you have a thin layer of sauce over the whole pizza. Remove any excess as too much sauce will make your pizza soggy.

Spoon ground beef, onion, bell pepper, chile, tomatoes, and cheeses evenly over the pizza.

Bake pizza for about 20 minutes or until cheese is golden brown. Depending on the efficiency of your oven you will probably want to check your pizza after 12 minutes and every few minutes after that.

Arriba. Arriba.

TIDBITS

1) The ancient Greeks covered their bread with oil, herbs, and cheese.

2) The first time I saw Mexican pizza was about ten years ago at a Taco Bell(tm).

3) Cinco de Mayo, May 5, celebrates a Mexican victory over a French army. It is a minor holiday in Mexico. However, in America, it has become a major “Drink Mexican Beer” day.

4) My birthday is May 5. When I was little, I was always quite grateful to Mexicans everywhere for celebrating my birthday. One of the greatest illusions of my life. I still hang onto this one, a little.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Misheard Prayer

I really thought for the longest time that the Glory Be to the Father prayer started with the following words:

Misheard #3

Apparently, the word “shouting” was really “shall be” all along. I must say that changes the meaning somewhat. God doesn’t literally think we’re all hard of hearing. Though perhaps methaphorically,

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: misheard | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Lutefisk

Swedish Atrocity

LUTEFISK

Heck no, I wont make this.

INGREDIENTS

Dried cod
Lye
Water
Other stuff

PREPARATION

No! No, a thousand times, no. I will not give you a recipe for lutefisk. You bought my cookbook. I have a warm and fuzzy feeling for you. So, look at the ingredients. Lye is a poison.

Furthermore, lutefisk assaults the senses as no other widespread dish. It looks like glue or broiled phlegm; there is some debate on this. It smells like, like, a rat dried under the furnace supplying central heating. It has the texture of boogers. It tastes like fermented cod-liver oil. Fortunately, lutefisk cannot speak.

When I was little, my mother made me eat lutefisk to show what she had to go through when she was small. My grandmother fed lutefisk to my mother to show what she had to go through when she was little girl. My grandmother’s parents left Sweden in the 1880s to get away from lutefisk.

Vikings raided Europe with unparalleled ferocity stoked by lutefisk meal after lutefisk meal in the homeland. Many thousands of them never came back.

There are more disgusting dishes than lutefisk, but they are little known and regional. Let’s pray they stay that way.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

You Need to See a Puppy at the Beach

And so do I.

You need to see #26

 

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: you need to see | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Should I Continue This Blog?

For a while now, the number of views has been going down. And sometimes I don’t have much energy left after a tiring day to put out a blog. I try to say interesting things and to make me laugh. I don’t know if WordPress’ JetPack stats aren’t measuring readership accurately or if I have become less interesting and amusing. Please let me know what you think. Thanks.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Mexican Green Onion Dip

Mexican Appetizer

MEXICAN GREEN-ONION DIP

INGREDIENTS

1 cup Crema Mexicana (Mexican sour cream)
¼ cup green onion
1½ tablespoons parsley
1 garlic clove
½ teaspoon Vegetable MagicTM spice
½ cup Cotija cheese

PREPARATION

Mince green onion and garlic clove. Crumble Cotija cheese. Mix all ingredients in bowl. Serve as a dip or on baked potatoes.

Wow! Wow! Wow! Two lines of instruction. It doesn’t get much easier than this or tastier.

(The following three blank lines are reserved for tic-tac-toe games.)

 

 

TIDBITS

1) According to a GoogleTM search there are no fun facts about sour cream, only interesting ones.

2) Further investigation showed the information that was supposed to be listed here to be false. So, it was deleted.

3) That is why the following tidbit now makes no sense.

4) I’m guessing a year is way more than sufficient.

5) I told you above that tidbit 4) no longer makes sense. Did you listen?

6) Russians use sour cream in cold, salted potato fish soups.

7) Yum.

8) Not.

9) It is unlikely that there will ever be a movie about sour cream as there was about FacebookTM.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, international, observations | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

They Say #1, Maturity and Wisdom

 

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: They Say | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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