Posts Tagged With: murders

Paul’s Awesome Buyer’s Report #2 – Briefs

Usually Paul’s Awesome Buyer’s Report (PABB) examines the strengths and weakness of similar products, plastic wraps for example, and comes down with a well-researched answer. Sometimes, however, we already know what we want. In these cases, we only want to figure out how many to buy.

Gentle reader, PABB hears you! In this issue, we examine the correct number of men’s briefs to buy online. The picture below shows various amounts of briefs to purchase and their corresponding custs.

And the analysis is in. The recommendation of Paul’s Awesome Buyer’s Report: buy seven briefs. Purchase 3 briefs only if a 16-ton anvil has just dropped on your head and you need all of your brain’s analytic prowess just to stay upright. Buy 5 if you’re merely pickled to the gills. Buy 6 if you’re studying Portuguese verbs for a final exam and don’t want to push any recent conjugations out of your mind.

­There.

Issue #2

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Misread News Item #2, The Earth

I misread the following news title today:

“Earth Has Tilted 31.5 Inches. That Shouldn’t Happen.”
Popular Mechanics, July 13, 2023

I really thought for an instant that the sentence went as below. I was quite worried for a bit. Wouldn’t climates and weather patterns be affected Alaska could become the new North Pole. The new one, Alaska, would never melt from global warming. Santa Claus wouldn’t have to worry about his workshop falling into the ocean. Besides, Santa would become American. USA! USA!

Misread title #2

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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Misread News Item

I misread the following news title today:

“A 46,000-year-old worm found in Siberian permafrost was brought back to life, and started having babies”
– Business Insider, July 28, 2023

I really thought for an instant that the sentence went as below. My misreading immediately conjured up startling images.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Wanda Wunder Wonders About Electrons

Wanda Wunder #31

 

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Puzzle Triumph

I finished, working mostly without stops,  at 3am. It took close to 21 hours. But its done.

The next puzzle won’t be for a while.

This kept me off the streets, where I would only foment revolution

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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A Little Bit About Me

My eyes don’t always work together. It’s not noticeable at medium-to-far distances, but reading can be quite tiring as each eye does it own thing. I’ve been doing eye therapy for about a year now and I have noticed a definite improvement in eye coordination. I’m able to read for increasing lengths of time. I have various exercises. One of them is pencilling in an adult-skill coloring book. (To the left in the below picture.) Precise pencilling is the point of this exercise. I make a great effort not to spill my pencilling into a neighboring blank sections and also to fill in every section completely. Each picture takes hours.

I enjoy jigsaw puzzles, especially the 1,000-pieces variety. I usually start when I wake up and keep going until I finish. This usually occurs in the wee hours of the morning. I find it nearly impossible to stop. The further along I get, the more I see pieces coming together in my brain. Indeed, I see envision pictures of matching pieces for a few hours after completion.

I hope you enjoy this glimpse into me; it’s not easy for me to open up.

Take care.

A bit of me

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Paul’s Awesome English Dictionary – Today’s Word: Extra Shop

We’ve all done this. Perhaps it’s in our genes. Perhaps the urge buy more than we planned was in our makeup way back to the very first living organism, the paracimmonium.

Awesome entry #22

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Angry Man Rants About Engine Warming

The struggle is eternal.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Always Look for the Million Dollar Discount

 

We all need luggage when travelling. But a good piece of luggage can be expensive. It can even run you a million bucks as this good soul found to her dismay. Fortunately, she found herself a million-dollar discount. Huzzah! This brought the price down to $0.00. Free. And that’s cheaper than a $50 suitcase with no rebate. There’s a lesson here for all of us.

See the picture to the right for details. Though honestly, I can’t see much interest in any $1,000,000 travel kit. But that might just be me.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Dr. Paul’s Advice on Romance

People keep asking me, for no apparent reason, how to win a woman’s heart.

This is an easy one. I can’t figure why there are so many books on the subject.

So, how would I a woo a woman?

Simple, cook for her. A well-cooked meal will make a woman’s heart flutter.

Continue to prepare her dinners fit for the gods. She will love you devotedly all your life.

And oh, as my Grandma Anna used to say, “An outstanding chef will leave the kitchen as clean at the end as when he started.”

So if you clean up as you go, your everlasting love will be the greatest of all time. Just like Romeo and Juliet.

But they both killed themselves. Oh well, maybe you should make a little mess. Or just eat out.

Bother.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: love | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

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