Posts Tagged With: Lutheran

Printers Are Evil

All it did was work all the time

Well they are. Somehow, a while back, they achieved consciousness and developed an instant and ferocious hatred of us.

Today’s onslaught of printer malevolence: Taking one hour to print one page.

Time to bring back the 1941 Royal typewriter.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: face of evil, printers, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Tomato Soup

American Soup

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TOMATO SOUP

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INGREDIENTS
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3 garlic cloves
1 small onion
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 bay leaf
1¾ cups chicken or vegetable broth
1 teaspoon oregano
1 teaspoon salt
2½ pounds tomatoes
3 tablespoons butter
2½ tablespoons flour
½ tablespoon fresh basil
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SPECIAL UTENSILS
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large food processor or electric blender
colander
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Serves 6. Takes 40 minutes.
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PREPARATION
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Dice garlic and onion. Add garlic cloves, onion, and olive oil to large pot. Sauté at for 5 minutes at medium-high heat or until onion softens. Add bay leaf, broth, oregano, salt. and tomatoes. Bring to boil using medium-high heat. Stir frequently. Cover. Reduce heat to low and simmer for 20 minutes or until tomatoes begin to disintegrate. Remove bay leaf.
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While tomato/broth mixture simmers, add butter to pan. Melt butter using medium heat. Add flour gradually, stirring always. Cook for 1 minute or until mixture turns brown.
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Add ingredients in pot to food processor. Blend using puree setting until ingredients become tomato soup. (You might to blend in batches.) Strain soup through colander into bowl. Discard bits in colander. Gradually stir in brown flour mixture. Stir with fork or whisk until any lumps disappear.
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Dice fresh basil. Garnish soup with fresh basil. Other garnishes that go well with this soup are: croutons, parsley, and Parmesan cheese.
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TIDBITS
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1) Writing first appeared 5,400 years ago in Mesopotamia. But the land had no tomatoes, so no tomato-soup recipes. Humans first domesticated tomatoes in South America on April 12, 4976 BCE, but the natives didn’t write, so again no tomato-soup recipes Then one glorious day in 1832 saw the first published tomato-soup recipe. Culinary historians say this is humanity’s greatest deed.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

I Hurt Myself Making Cookies

Stunt Big Toe from Stunt Man

Seems difficult to do but I did. I warmed by spilling one cookie-dough round into the oven and few more on the floor.

Then . . .

I tripped on the part of the broiler that was sticking out by a little. But my left big toe managed to catch it. I fell/flew forward, twisted in mid-air and broke my fall with my left knee. Final damage: headache, twisted neck, twisted back, twisted left ankle, and throbbing left, big toe, and hurt left knee. I thought briefly that my big toe was broken, but it’s better now. Oh and I managed to pull the broiler drawer all the way open with my big toe.

You may say that baking is not a full-contact sport, but I respectfully disagree.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: about me | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A Fine Outcome

Farine du Ble sat down. She spent all day cleaning that room. What for? No one ever used it. Still she tidied. Her muscles ached. Now it was time for reading. She openned her book, Dress Patterns and the Women Who Made Them. She soon imagined herself making fancy dresses for the First Lady. Little by little she drifted from day dreaming to dreaming.
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A few hours later, bricklayers sealed off the room; apparently someone else thought the room to be useless. She noticed not. Farine’s tired muscles ensured that only the dead would wake her. Which they did as soon as she had used up the oxygen.
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And now they’ve found her; her book still open. One of her descendants has a gigantic library fine waiting for him.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

The Great Latch Hook Project – Part 10

Yesterday, I finished the Great Latch Hook Project. I started around the beginning of the year. It took 8,740 hooks. I went through major delays from May to now, due to Covid and surgery. But now, it’s mounted in a frame. I persevered.

Go me.

Great Latch Hook Project #10 – 8/21/24

 

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: latch hook | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Buy Cheap Butt!

With all the inflation, shrinkflation, and greedflation going on lately, it is indeed heartening to discover that the  price of something we all love is actually going down.

Act now! Get your hands on some cheap butt. Mmm.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Butt Munch, lust, misread | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I Did Not Medal in the Olympics

I did not medal in the Olympics.

I forgot to write my trials on the calendar.

The officials there disqualified me for not showing.

One day I’ll be over 70

And be past my prime.

I am bereft of joy.

Paris is no longer the City of Lights for me.

Poetry is hard.

I need a taco.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: sports | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Weight Loss Through Anti-Fat Matter

welcomes scientific advancement

The universe is composed of matter and  anti-matter. When anti-matter contacts matter, matter disappears.

It stands to reason that our universe (Three cheers for it, hurray, hurray, hurray) is also made up of fat matter and anti-fat matter. Then when anti-fat matter collides with fat matter, fat disappears. All we need to do is find anti-fat matter. I applaud this search.

Such instantaneous disappearance of fat would be much preferable to dreary, difficult diets.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: science, Secrets of the Universe | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

My Day Today

I made corned beef and a strawberry smoothie. These aren’t big things, but it was the first time since surgery that I felt up to doing them. I also went for a short walk. Go me.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

Categories: about me | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Wanda Wunder Wonders About Brain Cells

Wanda Wunder #43

 

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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Wanda Wunder | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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