Posts Tagged With: Holy Roman Emperor

Chicken Sour Cream Soup

American Soup

CHICKEN SOUR CREAM SOUP

INGREDIENTS

½ red onion
2 ripe red tomatoes
3 red bell peppers
2 pounds chicken breasts
1½ tablespoons peanut oil (1½ more tablespoons later)

1½ tablespoons peanut oil
1 teaspoon Poultry MagicTM spice
2 teaspoons coriander
2 tablespoons paprika
½ teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon parsley
1 pound sour cream
1 pound chicken broth
½ pound Ricotta cheese

SPECIAL UTENSIL

Dutch oven

PREPARATION

Dice red onion. Remove seeds and stems from tomatoes. Chop tomatoes and bell peppers into ½-inch squares. Chop chicken breasts into 1-inch cubes.

Put 1½ tablespoons peanut oil in Dutch oven. Add chicken cubes. Add poultry spice, coriander, paprika, salt, and parsley. Cook on medium heat for about 10 minutes, stirring occasionally.

Put 1½ tablespoons peanut oil in saucepan. Add red onion, tomato, and bell pepper. Cook on medium heat for about 6 minutes or until red onion becomes tender or translucent.

Combine red onion, tomato, and bell pepper with chicken in Dutch oven. Add sour cream, chicken broth, and Ricotta cheese. Cook for 12 minutes on medium heat, stirring occasionally.

Serve in bowls. (If the guests arrive late enough that some of the liquid boils off, don’t worry. Cheerfully, serve them Chicken Sour Cream Stew and Tabasco cocktails.)

TIDBITS

1) My father once came up with a similar dish. He asked my mother what to call the food. She said, “Bruno.” His dish has been “Chicken Bruno” ever since.

2) Saint Bruno was a statesman, chancellor, and brother to the first Holy Roman Emperor Otto I.

3) He is remembered for his eloquence and his refusal to become bishop.

4) However, we don’t know if Saint Bruno liked sour cream on his chicken or not.

6) So, liking sour cream on chicken won’t necessarily help you become a saint.

7) You must perform four miracles to become a saint.

8) It’s a miracle to me how chocolate doughnuts can jump into my shopping cart quite unaided.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Rabbit Race Cars Dessert

American Dessert

RABBIT RACECARS

INGREDIENTSRabbitRacecars-

food dye vial
4 TwinkiesTM
4 PeepsTM
4 mini white fudge or yogurt covered pretzels
16 mini OreosTM

Makes 4 desserts. Take 10 minutes.

PREPARATION

Carefully use the food-dye vial to make a number on the front and back of the Twinkie. Cut out a 1″ wide section from the middle of a Twinkie. The cut should go most of the way to the bottom. Put Peep in cut out. Put white fudge pretzel in front of Peep. Take 4 mini Oreos apart. Place the halves with the white frosting, frosting side inward, against the two lengths of the Twinkie. Repeat for the remaining Twinkies. Be sure to eat a rabbit car before the whirlwind of little ones descends.

TIDBITS

1) It is little known beyond the Culinary Art Critics Guild (CACG) that food-dye art (FDA) almost conquered the art world in 1647. FDA began when Kurt Vurgyiks of Prague painted Czech frat boys throwing pledged nobles from the Holy Roman Empire out a castle window. Chef Vurgyiks was making his new creation, Rabbit Coaches, for dinner when he saw two bodies hurtling down past his window. He grabbed his dyes and working super fast–he had to, bodies plummeting past a window last maybe one second, tops–painted the whole event on the kitchen wall.

2) Everybody loved the rabbit coaches which have remained stupendously popular ever since, changing name only to rabbit racecars in 1972 to honor Robert “The Rabbit” Olson winning the Indianapolis 500. But wait! There’s more. All the castle nobles loved Chef Vurgyik’s painting. Soon, all Europe went FDA mad. It was the best of food-dye art and dessert times.

3) It was the worst of food-dye art and dessert times. The Holy Roman Emperor took offence at the killing of his pledges; he was known to hold grudges. He ordered the execution of the Czech frat boys for their fatal prank; then as is now, fraternity hazing was frowned upon.

4) The Czech fraternities rallied around their condemned brothers and declared independence from the empire. The emperor didn’t like this either. His army of Italian frat brothers invaded the fledgling Czech nation. The bloody frat squabble spilled all over Europe when people realized that the Czech fraternities were protestant and the Italian fraternities were Catholic.

5) Perhaps a quarter of the people in the war-torn regions died in the thirty-years of unceasing fighting. As a further bummer, food-dye art was banned in the conflict-ending Treaty of Westphalia. I told you the emperor could hold a grudge.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, humor | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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