Posts Tagged With: finances

What I Did Today

Posted on January 17, 2025 by pauldelancey

AlonzoTheMagnificent

I woke up and made breakfast. I did some finances and a much-needed tidying of the office. The natives and I went to the San Diego Zoo where I walked 6,000 steps including steep hills. I also developed a 20,000 word sign language with the apes. Go me!

We took home food from a rather good Mexican restaurant. I’m now home and am relaxing. My shoulders hurt a lot. Perhaps it’s arthritis. Perhaps it was from lifting the 880-pound abe Alonzo the  Magnificent. Who can say?

As always, behave yourselves when I’m not around.

You’re the best.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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You Know You Want to Party With Me

Posted on December 30, 2024 by pauldelancey

Salt pork, hard to find in the wild

I spent much of the morning shopping at three grocery stores. First one, Grocery Outlet was missing all sorts of basic foods. The next one, Stater Brothers did not have salt pork. They were, however, selling a dozen eggs for $9 – $10. It’s the age-old story, an item cannot be produced in one place then every store or supplier across the universe holds back supplies and jacks up prices for months to come.

I then went to Sprouts, They were selling eggs for $4.70, so I bought them there. In your face, Stater Bros. However, they didn’t have salt pork either.

I need salt pork to make homemade Boston Baked Beans for a party. I’ve looked online for an hour or two. Only two possible stores in the country. I couldn’t find a good source online.

Thanks, Obama.

Then, I spent hours fixing problems in finances.

That’s it.

You know you want to party with me.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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What I Did Today

Posted on December 19, 2024 by pauldelancey

 

Klingons were here.

I saw to and took care of finances. They needed tending to. “You never spend any timewith us anymore,” said my finances. “We don’t think you stopped liking us.” So I spent a while with them. We frolicked and gamboled together in the meadows and along sparkling white beaches, metaphorically of course. We parted great friends once more.

Full of the joy that only dancing with finances can yield, I tackled the paper swamp that was my office. It took a long time.

Halfway through I noticed there were Klingons around Uranus. “What the dickens are you doing there? It’s gassy and out of bounds. “Oopsie,” said Commander Frances, “I got lost.” Captain Desdemona Death Defying Daughter of Dangerous Destiny snorted. “I told him he was lost, but does a male Klingon ask for galactic directions? Noooooo.”

And soon, the Klingon spaceship puttered away.

I turned my attention back to my office. I shredded and shredded documents and the like. I shredded enough paper to make a vacation home for a dozen hampsters.

Then I made spaghetti. Ingredients were: tomatoes, leeks, green onions, onion, carrots, ground turkey, mozzarella cheese, allspice, poultry magic, and epicieres. The meal passed in pleasing conversation

And now to relax.

I hope you had a fun day. I’d like to hear about yours.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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What I Did Today

Posted on August 26, 2024 by pauldelancey

Liechtenstein, a tough nut to crack

After much internal debate, I got out of bed, showered, and got dressed. Look at me, all adulty and everything.

Poked around my finances instead of taking to the street and fomenting revolution.

Make an appointment to have my ears looked at.

When shopping at the supermarket. I was planning to make a two course meal.

I decided instead to invade Leichtenstein. It did not got well.

Me: Yo ho, I’m invading your country. I’m going to rule your country.

Border Guard: No you’re not. I’ll stop you.

Me: You and what army?

Border Guard blows whistle. Three burly sorts run up to me.

Border Guard: Me and the Leichtensteinan army.

Me: Aw, man.

Border Guard: Shoo. Shoo.

So, I went home, dejected and tired. I jettisoned plans to make Cilbir (Turkish eggs with yogurt.) and made Powegian Pastrami Pepperoni wraps instead.

I’ve had a couple glasses of chocolate glasses since then and am feeling more upbeat.

I hope you behaved yourselves while I was careening around Europe.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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What I Did Today

Posted on January 17, 2024 by pauldelancey

Ravioli punch hid for a long time

Busy, busy day. I’m exhaustedand hurting.

1) Woke up. Good start to the day.

2) Got up. Right away, Go me! The Energizer Bunny(tm), you bet.

3) Had a glazed doughnut for breakfast.

4) Showered again. There’s always time for cleanliness.

5) Dressed again and didn’t even go outside to the peoply world.

6)  Wrestled with finances again for a long time. The storm clouds gathered.

7) Did something. My mind’s mush from the day’s wrestling matches.

8) Started to pause and reflect. Realized I didn’t have time, so I stopped.

9) Looked for well over an hour looking for my ravioli punch. I had to take out all sorts of kitchen untensils out of the drawers and put them back. Hurt my pack from all this bending down and squatting and then getting up again.

10) Found my ravioli punch. It transpired that it was in the box with the pasta machine. I put the punch there because it was the most logical place for it to be. If there’s something like logic in the spirit world, tell it that I’m not happy with it.

11) Made ravioli. It’s a highly repetitive process that requires a fair amount of concentration. I also made ravioli sauce.

12) The ravioli turned out well, thank goodness.

13) Flour got all over me and the table.

14) Ate ravioli in minutes. Thank goodness, it was tasty.

15) Revised my ravioli recipe again. Although, I think it’s a keeper this time.

16) Briefly thought about estimating the total cost of ingredients and ravioli gizmos and the total time needed to get to the point where I am happy with my ravioli. However, my mind utterly recoiled at the thought. I’ll never again question the price of restaurant ravioli

17) Cleaned up a bit. Hooray, a native is cleaning up the rest of the mess.

18) I’m really in the mood for some murder mysteries.

Behave yourselves.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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What I Did Today

Posted on January 16, 2024 by pauldelancey

 

Metaphor Mel removes financial weeds

Busy, busy day. I’m exhausted.

1) Woke up.

2) Got up. Right away, Go me!

3) Had a glazed doughnut for breakfast.

4) Finances are like flower gardens. They can be beautiful and reassuring. Then if you neglect them, even take your eyes off them for a bit, evil hardy weeds overrun them. So today, I engaged in hours of weed pulling. If that isn’t a metaphor, I don’t know what is.

4) Brokered a cease fire between two peacefully coexisting neighboring nations. It was easier than you might think.

5) Paused and reflected.

6) Went to the bank to turn my CD into a new one paying 4.5%. If left to their own devices banks will roll over your CD into a new one that pays you $3 for every $10,000 you invest with them. How do ever stay in business

7) The woman at the bank got me the CD I wanted with NO hassle AT ALL. She ever told me how to do the next rollover on line.  She is a financial goddess!

8) Wondered if any mollusks have pages on Facebook.

9) Looked up recipes for bread pizzas. What a clever way to use up lots of idle bread slices.

10) Made my first and only proper meal of the day: ham and cheese sandwich.

11) Did Wordle in four tries.

12) Watched an episode about Saturn’s moons, part of a travelog on India, and episode about prehistoric Britain.

13) Worked on this blog.

14) Ready for more adventures. Latch hooking is on the horizon.

3b) Oops! I forgot to say that I got dressed. I most certainly did not go into the world undressed. Goodness!

Behave yourselves.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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What I Did the Day Before Tomorrow

Posted on December 20, 2023 by pauldelancey

1) Woke up. Got out of bed. Dragged a comb across my head. Showered, because cleanliness is a virture.

2) So is getting up. It’s important to get up, especially if you run the mile. As of press time, no one, man or woman, has won the mile race without getting of bed. I have no plans to compete in such a race. But it’s nice to know that if chose to do so, I could run my heart out.

3) Dressed casual. I was fit for society.

4) And I went out! For eye therapy. I  dodged people so adeptly that a Hall of Fame running back would be jealous.

5) Went over finances.

6)   Didn’t fight Verizon(tm) and Yahoo(tm). Maybe tomorrow. Of sure, I cussed a bit at them in the comfort of my office, but it was mostly perfunctory.

7)  Oh, not to worry, I came back from eye therapy. I walked both ways. Go me.

9) I made rosemary olive oil soap.

10) It didn’t turn out well. There was much wailing and gnashing of teeth.

11)  Got out my spice grinder and ground the heck of the fresh rosemary. Atomized it, really.

12)  Performed multiple experiments on better ways of making Rosemary Olive Oil soap.

12) Made another batch. I’m praying that it will come out right.

13) Chatted briefly with Iceland and Paraguay. They agreed to postone their border dispute until I had more time to mediate. I expect a quick resolution as the two nations do not share a border.

14) Too tired to cook dinner. One of the natives is going out for chicken. Yay.

 

Behave yourselves.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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What I Did the Day After Yesterday

Posted on December 16, 2023 by pauldelancey

1) Woke up. Got out of bed. Dragged a comb across my head.2) Showered, because cleanliness is a virture.

3) Dressed casual. I was fit for society.

4) But didn’t go out. It’s too peoply out there.

5) Went over finances.

6)  Spent hours failing to deal with an email issue arising from a misbegotten union between Verizon(tm) and Yahoo(tm).

7)  Cussed a lot. Verizon, can you hear me know.

8) Worked on a family Christmas picture.

9) Wrote letters to our six sponsored children abroad. Sent them Christmas gifts.

10)  Took a long relaxing fizzy bath. I’m really clean.

11)  Read from the highly enjoyable bath book,  Mary’s Land.

12) Watched an episode in the lecture series, “Foundations of Western Civilization.”

13) Noticed that the Earth was upside down.

14) Turn it rightside up again.

15) Reasoned that my hypothesis in 14) was faulty. It was only perceived to be upside down.  Many would have thought it was rightside up in the first place.

16) Thought it best to return things to their original state, by turning it downside up. Sorry, if I made you dizzy. Let this be a lesson in humility for me. On the plus side, people in both hemispheres got to see constellations they never would have otherwise.

17) Made sausages and beans for dinner.

 

Behave yourselves.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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What I Did Today

Posted on December 15, 2023 by pauldelancey

Sewing the Earth back together, one spool at a time

1) Woke up.

2) Got up.  The streak continues

3) Worked on finances.

4) Showered, because cleanliness is a virture.

5) Got dressed. Wore dress casual again.

6)  Drove to my massage therapist. Emerged feeling better.

7)  Did errands with a friend.

8) Bought food, including a ham for Christmas.

9) Drove home.

10)  Ruthlessly extirminated errors in a financial spreadsheet.

11)  Made taquitos for the natives.

12) Watched an episode in the lecture series, “Foundations of Western Civilization.

13) Noticed that the Earth was coming apart.

14) Double stitched the Earth back together. It’s safe now. By the way, my grandmother was a professional seamstress.

15) Contemplated the infinite. It’s relaxing. You should try it.

Behave yourselves.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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What I Did This Day

Posted on December 4, 2023 by pauldelancey

Pluto. Looks like a malt ball, doesn’t it?

1) Woke up.

2) Got up. Go me!

3) Worked on finances.

4) Showered.

5) Got dressed. The day is still early. Go me.

6) Went to the discount supermarket.

7) Got the things I needed.

8) Looked for targets of opportunity, also known as sales.

9) Put things away.

10) Organized the racks of canned drinks. Did you know that if you knock a fizzy drink to the floor, if can explode? Fizz goes everywhere, mostly onto the floor. However, a powerful jet made its way into my eye. Fortunately, thank goodness, that spray hit only the white of my eye. Even so, the pain was intense. But only for two seconds. Whew! And whew again. Thank goodness.

11) Caught up on people’s lives on Facebook(tm).

12) Made a shrimp cocktail

13) Contemplated the inequities in the 1648 Treaty of Westphalia.

8) Worked on a Thursday, New York Times(tm) crossword puzzle.

9) Read from Mary’s Land, a wonderful novel and designated bathtub book.

10) Finished fizzy bath.

11) Checked in Pluto. Resentment still festers about its demotion from planetary status. Right now, Pluto’s sadness dominates its anger. But if that changes, watch out! There’s nothing worse than an angry dwarf planet. I think I managed to talk Pluto down. It says, “Hi.”

12) Made hot dogs.

13) Finally got around to writing this blog. I had almost forgotten. Egad.

17) Sent my weekly condolences to Pluto for losing its full planetary status.

Behave yourselves.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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