Posts Tagged With: cookbook

Lemongrass Chicken

Cambodian Entree

LEMONGRASS CHICKEN

INGREDIENTSLemGrCh-

2 boneless chicken breasts
1 1/2 tablespoons honey
1 tablespoon soy sauce (2 more tablespoons)

2 stalks fresh lemongrass (or 2 teaspoons dried or 1 teaspoon grated lemon zest or 1 teaspoon lemon juice.)
1 1/2 tablespoons vegetable oil
4 garlic cloves
1 1/2 teaspoons ginger
1/2 tablespoon onion salt
1 tablespoon lime juice
2 tablespoons soy sauce
2 tablespoons rice vinegar

1 cup rice
2 cups water

PREPARATION

Cut the chicken breasts into strips 1/2-inch wide and 2-inches long. Mince garlic cloves. Cut off the root end of the lemongrass stalk and strip off outside leaves. Mince inside core. (Or use dried lemongrass, or grated lemon zest, or lemon juice. Sometimes fresh lemongrass is as easy to get as Icelandic habañero peppers. Just do your best. I feel your spicing pain.)

Combine honey and soy sauce in mixing bowl. Thoroughly coat the chicken strips in this mixture.

Heat vegetable oil in wok or no-stick frying pan. Add chicken strips, garlic, lemongrass, onion salt, lime juice, soy sauce, and rice vinegar. Cook on medium high until chicken turns white. Stir frequently. Add more soy sauce if too sweet and more honey if not sweet enough.

You really should have a supply of fresh onions around the kitchen. At the time of writing this recipe my onions had gone bad, surly even, and my wife rightfully pointed out I was crazy to think she’d be going to the store when she had the kids’ baseball uniforms to clean. Hence, the onion salt. Life is like that.

Cook rice according to instructions shown on bag.

Serve on lovingly cooked rice. (Your guests will sense the love that went into the rice and the whole dish and gaze upon you with undisguised affection. And if they complain about the freshness of the lemongrass or its absence, send them to Iceland. If you can place them in the path of a lava flow, even better.)

TIDBITS

1) Yes, Iceland has volcanoes.

2) It also produces bananas.

3) Icelandic farmers have burned bananas on at least one occasion to drive up prices.

4) Cambodia produces bananas as well.

5) I first had this dish in Nantes, France, the hometown of the great novelist Jules Verne.

6) Iceland and Cambodia have never gone to war with each other.

7) Probably because they both grow bananas and understand each other on a deep level.

8) Germany and France have been pretty much free of banana plantations. But they fought each other three times from 1870 to 1945. Coincidence? I don’t think so.

9) Bananas were also a favored prop during the heyday of the silent-film era. The world was at peace then. When bananas disappeared from cinema the world went to war.

10) Besides ending war, the banana’s potassium helps boost bone mass.

11) So, write your Congressman and ask him to sponsor banana plantations all across America and indeed the world.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Cajun Chicken Breasts

Cajun Entree

CAJUN CHICKEN BREASTS

INGREDIENTSCajunCh-


4 chicken breasts

1 teaspoon paprika
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1/2 teaspoon Poultry MagicTM spice
1/2 teaspoon cumin
1/2 teaspoon thyme
1/2 teaspoon coriander

PREPARATION

Preheat skillet to 350 degrees. Completely defrost chicken breasts. Mix paprika, salt, cayenne, poultry spice, cumin, thyme, and coriander on large plate. Coat the chicken breasts with no-stick spray.

Place the chicken breasts on plate and roll them until they are coated with spices. Place chicken in skillet and cook for about 12 minutes, gently turning them over every 3 minutes, or until spices are blackened. Keep skillet’s lid on while cooking.

You should really try this dish. It’s so quick and easy to make, it looks impressive, and it tastes great.
TIDBITS

1) I first bit into Cajun food when I was in New Orleans for an economics conference.

2) In Louisiana, biting someone with false teeth is considered aggravated assault. Best have someone with regular teeth do the biting for you.

3) Chicken Legs Dominoes is a fun game.

4) Emperor Napoleon sold us New Orleans and the rest of the Louisiana Territory in 1803. He did so because his plans for a Caribbean empire faltered in Haiti. The foiler of his plans? The tiny mosquito.

5) The largest bridge over water in the world starts near New Orleans. It’s twenty-four miles long. I once had a tire-pressure indicator turn on just after I got on the bridge. No place to turn around. Boy, I was happy to get to a gas station on the other side.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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La Daube Provencale

French Entree

LA DAUBE PROVENÇALE

LaDauPr-

INGREDIENTS

1 1/2 pounds stewing steak or better
2 yellow onions
8 whole cloves
1 carrot
4 garlic cloves
1 10 ounce can diced tomatoes
4 tablespoons olive oil
4 ounces bacon strips
1 bay leaf
6 peppercorns
1/2 teaspoon orange zest
1/4 teaspoon sea salt
1 teaspoon parsley
1 teaspoon sage
1 teaspoon rosemary
1 teaspoon thyme
1/4 cup red wine

PREPARATION

Cut the steak into 1/2-inch cubes. It is all right to use a better grade of steak than stewing. (As I write this recipe, my local supermarket is having such a sale on top sirloin it’s cheaper than the fattiest ground beef. Go figure. Now if they would only have a sale on gold.)

Peel the 2 onions and cut each of them into 4 wedges. Stick a whole clove into each of the 8 onion wedges. Scrape off the surface of the carrot. Cut the carrot into round pieces no more than 1/2-inch thick. Peel and mince garlic cloves.

Put olive oil and bacon strips in skillet. Heat at medium-heat until bacon begins to brown. (Some versions of this recipe call for strips or slices heavily marbled with fat. This is no problem at all. Simply pick the package of bacon that is on top of the others. Some good Samaritan has gone before you, heroically going through all the bacon packages looking for the meatiest and leaving you exactly what you wanted.)

Back at the range it is time to add to the skillet: steak cubes, onion wedges with cloves in them, carrot pieces, garlic,
diced tomatoes, bay leaf, peppercorns, orange zest, sea salt, parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme. (“Are you going to Scarborough Fair?” Sorry, couldn’t resist.)

Cook on medium heat until steak cubes start to brown. Add red wine. Bring to boil. Lower temperature to between off and warm. Cover with lid and let stew simmer for 2 1/2 hours.

This is great. Give it only to loved ones or a boss at promotion time.

TIDBITS

1) Insects don’t like the scent of onions. So, cut open an onion and rub the two halves all over your body before crossing a mosquito-infested swamp.

2) The French tried to build the Panama Canal before the Americans did. They failed because too many of their workers succumbed to malaria.

3) The Americans succeeded because they discovered malaria was borne by mosquitoes. We destroyed the pesky critters by destroying their swamps.

4) Mightn’t it have been simpler to have the canal workers rub their bodies with onion halves before going to work each day?

5) Of course, the thousands of sweaty, oniony workers would have had problems convincing beautiful ladies to dance with them after work.

6) But just how many spiffed-up young ladies could the workers have found in the middle of a mosquito-riddled swamp?

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, history, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Hawaiian Hamburger

Hawaiian Entree

HAWAIIAN HAMBURGER

INGREDIENTSHawaiHB-

3/4 pound ground beef
1 egg
1 tablespoon brown sugar
1/2 teaspoon prepared mustard
1/2 medium onion
1/4 cup bread crumbs
1 tablespoon tomato sauce
1/2 cup pineapple juice

4 pineapple slices
4 hamburger buns

PREPARATION

Dice onion. Mix ground beef, egg, brown sugar, mustard, onion, bread crumbs, and tomato sauce by hand. Don’t say “ew” when doing so.

Make four patties. Brown both sides of each patty. Pour pineapple juice into pan. Cook at medium-high heat until all the meat in the patty turns color. (You can clip off a small section of a patty to look. After a few times, you’ll be an adept chef and know by looking at the meat’s outside or by a finely honed sense of how long things take to cook.)

Toast buns. Put patties in buns. Top each patty with a pineapple slice.

TIDBITS

1) Pineapples were a sign of hospitality in antebellum mansions. Many sea captains would return and put an apple atop on of the posts by the front gate. This meant that the man of the house was home and that you were welcome to visit the homestead.

2) However, it did not mean you would receive special hospitality from the lady of the mansion if you spent the night in a four poster topped with four wooden pineapples. Instead, finding those pineapples on your bed meant you had overstayed your welcome. The number of pineapples denoted the seriousness of the “please leave” message.

3) “Hawaiian” is one of the few English words with the letter sequence “aiia.”

4) If the first hamburger restaurant to have gone national had been from Hawaii, our favorite fast food restaurant might have been Nâwilliwili burgers.

5) This would have caused a national crisis as most word processors, including mine, don’t have the necessary foreign character of “a” with a straight line over it.

6) Would a national character crisis be bad for America? I don’t know, but the Cuban Missile Crisis of 1962 was pretty scary.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, history, humor, recipes, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Arriba Burgers

Mexican Entree

ARRIBA BURGERS

INGREDIENTSArribBu-

1 1/2 pounds ground beef
1/2 medium onion
2 garlic cloves
1/2 jalapeno pepper
4 ounces diced green chiles
1/2 teaspoon coriander
1/2 teaspoon cumin
3 ounces Cotija cheese
3 ounces grated Four Mexican cheeses
6 to 8 hamburger buns
lettuce

PREPARATION

Mince the onion, cloves, and jalapeno pepper. Make 6 to 8 thin strips of Cotija cheese.

Mix ground beef, onion, cloves, pepper, green chiles, coriander, and cumin by hand. Sorry, but this really is the best way to blend these ingredients. (And your dog will really appreciate you petting him immediately after this step. By the way, have you ever met a dog called Fido or Spot in real life?)

Make 6 to 8 patties. Cook in frying pan until meat browns. Put a strip of Cotija cheese and sprinkle grated Mexican cheese on each patty. Fry patties until cheese begins to melt. Don’t cook longer as cheese will seep onto pan and the grease in the cheese will begin to separate out.

Toast hamburger buns in toaster or in frying pan after patties are removed. You will need to be vigilant with the buns if you choose this latter method as the buns can burn quickly.

Serve with lettuce. Arriba!

1) “Arriba!” was the favorite word of Speedy Gonzalez, the cartoon mouse.

2) Speedy Gonzalez always defeated El Pussy Cato, who had a remarkably flat learning curve.

3) Mexicans drive fast. My wife learned to drive in Guadalajara. The drivers here don’t scare her a bit.

4) I learned to drive in the huge parking lot of the Santa Anita Racetrack.

5) We are always told to buckle up, but when I was growing up there were no seat belts in the back seat.

6) I have never driven in Mexico. Mexicans are grateful.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Spicy Chicken Strips

American Entree

SPICY CHICKEN STRIPS

INGREDIENTSSpicyCS-

4 chicken breasts

3 garlic cloves
2 eggs
1 1/2 tablespoons prepared mustard
1 1/2 tablespoons Dijon mustard

3 cups bread crumbs or cracker crumbs
2 tablespoons dried basil
1 tablespoon paprika
1 teaspoon coriander
1 teaspoon Poultry MagicTM spice
1/2 teaspoon chili powder
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
1/2 teaspoon sea salt
no-stick cooking spray

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Coat baking sheets with no-stick spray.

Cut chicken breasts into pieces 3-inches long and 1-inch wide. (Why did the chicken cross the road? To avoid being an entree.)

(Did you know you can buy a butcher’s block with a precisely measured line so that your chicken piece will not only be exactly 3-inches by 1-inch, they will also have precise 90 degrees angles? People who like knives and this product scare me.)

Mince garlic cloves. Put garlic, eggs, prepared mustard, and Dijon mustard into mixing bowl. Stir well.

Make bread crumbs if you don’t have them. (Dry, hard bread is a great source of bread crumbs. If you don’t have dry, hard bread, toasted bread will do. Crackers also make excellent crumbs.)

Combine crumbs, basil, paprika, coriander, poultry spice, chili powder, black pepper, and salt in another mixing bowl. Stir well.

Dip chicken strip in egg mixture. Roll dipped chicken strip in crumbs until it’s completely covered. Put covered strip on baking sheet. Repeat until all strips are coated.

Bake chicken strips in oven at 400 degrees for 10 to 15 minutes or until golden brown and chicken meat is completely white. (As always, cooking times vary widely depending on the oven and the closeness of the food to the heating coils.)

TIDBITS

1) Dijon is home to the Dijon Ducs, who play hockey in the Magnus League.

2) Magnus Svenson lives in Sweden as do many other Magnussons. Probably, at least a few of them play hockey.

3) Swedish hockey is generally considered superior to that played in France.

4) However, many more people prefer France’s wine to Sweden’s.

5) Something to consider when planing a vacation to Europe.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Eternal Questions

ETERNAL QUESTIONS

1) How do washers steal socks?
2) Why do washers steal socks?
3) Why do they steal only one sock from a pair?
4) Where do washers hide their stolen socks?
5) Why do media treat political debates like boxing matches?
6) Who was the better cowboy actor, Roy Rogers or William Boyd?
7) Where are my car keys?
8) No more Twinkies. Why? Why?

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: humor | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

More pictures from my forthcoming cookbook

More pictures from my forthcoming cookbook. http://ow.ly/i/1aqK0

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A Query-Letter Failure October 28, 1994

A Query-Letter Failure

October 28, 1994

Mr. Amos Keeto, Editor
Illinois Bankers Association
1313 Mockingbird Lane
Chicago, IL 60606

Dear Mr. Keeto,

For too long the world of fiction has ignored the rich vein of humor to be found in bankers and their mutual funds.

My fictional play, “Let’s Visit Mr. Banker,” illustrates the single-minded advice of a banker who sells mutual funds. For example, if customers ask him about interest rates rising, he advises why they should sell. Similarly, if people question him about interest rates falling, he explains why they should again sell.

I earned a Ph.D. in International Finance from the University of Wisconsin. I base this fiction on my experience with financial experts, especially with those on television.

Please note that there is no need to return the manuscript. I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

Paul R. De Lancey

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Recipes from my Forthcoming Cookbook

http://ow.ly/i/1aqFH

Recipes from my forthcoming cookbook.

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