Posts Tagged With: brown sugar

Banane Celeste From Martinique

Martiniquai Dessert

BANANE CELESTE

INGREDIENTSBananeCeleste-

1 pound cream cheese (1/2 pound at a time)
3 tablespoons butter
6 ripe bananas
1/4 cup brown sugar
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon (1/4 teaspoon more later)
1/4 cup heavy cream
1/4 teaspoon cinnamon

serves 6

SPECIAL UTENSIL

baking dish

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Let cream cheese and butter soften. Peel bananas and cut them in half along their lengths.

Add cream cheese, brown sugar, and 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon. Use fork or blender on lowest setting until mixture is light and fluffy.

Light and fluffy sounds so peaceful doesn’t it? Next time you’re at a peace conference say, “Light and fluffy” to the warring sides and see if the mood of the room doesn’t improve dramatically.

Meanwhile back at the stove, use medium heat to melt the butter in a pan. Add banana halves to pan. Sauté bananas on medium heat until they turn light brown on both sides. Turn bananas carefully over with spatula to ensure even browning.

Evenly arrange 6 banana halves in bottom of baking dish. Spoon 1/2 pound cream cheese evenly over bananas. Place 6 more banana halves on top of the the cream cheese. Spoon another 1/2 pound of cream cheese atop the second banana layer.

Smooth heavy cream over the second layer of cream cheese. Sprinkle 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon over heavy cream.

Put baking dish in oven and bake in over for 15-to-20 minutes at 350 degrees or until cream-cheese sauce is bubbly and golden brown.

TIDBITS
1) Josephine Bonaparte, wife of the Emperor Napoleon, was born in Martinique in 1763 with the name of Marie Josèphe Rose Tascher de La Pagerie. This name was way too long so most people just called her “Ma.” Josephine possessed a lively sense of humor.

2) People loved her jokes. She had them in stitches. Agents from Vau de Ville frequently came to her mansion to sign her up for large engagements but she always demurred, saying she was but a simple banana plantation monopolist.

3) Still the island’s elite kept coming to her comedy soirées to hear her jokes. They never wanted to leave even when she got tired and wanted to retire. They’d say, “Yo, Ma, Ma, tell us another joke.”

4) Her funnies became known as “Ma Ma jests,” then “Mama jests,” and finally by 1779 as “Yo, Mama jokes.”

5) In 1779, Ma Pagerie married the owner of the Folies Bergère, Monsieur de Beauharnais, and moved to Paris.

6) Nothing much of note happened in the lives of the de Beauharnaises until monsieur ended their marriage by getting guillotined in 1794. Saved the unpleasantness of a bitter divorce, Ma commenced a series of mirthful affairs with the handsome leaders of the French Revolution.

7) In 1796 she attracted the eye of a young artillery officer named Napoleon Bonaparte. “She made me laugh,” said Napoleon.

8) Napoleon had suffered from chronic depression and often stayed in bed neglecting to fight the smallest battle until Ma bucked him up with one of the world’s first chicken-crossing the road jokes. “Pourquoi le poulet a traversé la rue? Pour obtenir à l’autre côté.”

9) Ma’s mirth gave Napoleon the energy to follow his dream. In 1799, he and two other hombres overthrew the constitutional government. In 1804, he reached the top of the government ladder when he made himself emperor.

10) Life was good for France with Napoleon conquering one country after another. People no longer had to get visas to visit the Italian Riviera. Napoleon had made it part of France. What a guy!

11) But things went sour in 1810. Napoleon wanted an heir for his Empire. Ma, although always able to conceive a knee-slapping joke without a moment’s notice, could not do the same with a child. So Napoleon divorced her and married Marie Louise of Austria.

12) Marie Louise lived in a permanent humor-free zone. She never made Napoleon laugh, not once. Napoleon grew moody, his judgment became impaired. In 1812, he invaded Russia, a disaster. By 1814, his enemies were at the French border. They offered Napoleon a peace treaty, but without Ma’s jokes to relieve the tension caused by his tactless outbursts, negotiations went downhill.

13) Napoleon was forever defeated in 1815 and exiled to St. Helena. It would decades before vaudeville revived.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

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Spam Burger From Hawaii

Hawaiian Entree

SPAM BURGER

INGREDIENTSSpamBurger-

3 cloves garlic
1 cup brown sugar
2 tablespoons lemon juice
3/4 cup pineapple juice
2 tablespoons red wine
1/4 cup soy sauce
1/2 cup water
1/4 cup cornstarch
1 12 ounce can SPAM

4 pineapple rings
4 slices mild cheddar cheese
4 lettuce leaves
4 hamburger buns

SPECIAL UTENSIL

electric skillet

PREPARATION

Mince garlic cloves. Put garlic, brown sugar, lemon juice, pineapple juice, red wine, soy sauce, water, and cornstarch in large mixing bowl. Stir with whisk or fork until brown sugar dissolves and cornstrach blends in. Cut SPAM into 8 strips. Add SPAM. Let SPAM marinate for 60 minutes.

Set skillet to 350 degrees. Put SPAM strips and pineapple rings in skillet. Fry for 4 minutes. Turn over SPAM and pineapple. Add cheese slices. Fry for another 4 minutes.

While SPAM strips and pineapple rings are frying, add marinade to frying pan. Simmer for 8 minutes on low heat, stirring constantly.

Put 2 SPAM strips with melted cheese on bottom buns. Ladle as much cooked marinade on top as desired. (If you desire a lot of sticky marinade, may I suggest a lot of napkins.) Add lettuce and complete with top hamburger bun.

Left over sauce goes great with stir fry.

TIDBITS

1) The derivation of the term “spam” for torrents of unsolicited e-mail and posts comes from a Monty Python skit where a diner serves SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, and more SPAM. This skit can be seen on YouTubeTM via the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anwy2MPT5RE

2) While tidbit 1) advanced the cause of literature and the arts, the following tidbits will extol SPAM’s contribution to culinary history.

3) SPAM was first canned in 1937. It’s jingle was: “SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, Hormel’s new miracle meat in a can. Saves time, tastes fine, to eat something grand as for SPAM.”

4) SPAM featured in soldiers’ meal during World War II as it is a good source of protein and is easy to eat. Famous people have spoken out about Spam.

“Without SPAM we wouldn’t have been able to feed our army.”
– Russian President Nikita Kruschev

“SPAM was a war-time delicacy.”
– Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher

“I ate my share of SPAM along with millions of other soldiers, I’ll even confess to a few unkind words about it – uttered during the strain of battle you understand. But as the former commander-in-chief of the allied forces, I believe I can still officially forgive you for your only sin: sending us so much of it.”
– President Dwight D. Eisenhower.

5) The SPAM Museum is Austin, Minnesota, “SPAM Town, USA.” Admission is free.

6) In 1989,Americans purchased 1,750 tons of SPAM. Purchases for other years is apparently a secret.

7) Hawaii has the largest per capita consumption of SPAM in the world. These islanders acquired their love for SPAM during World War II when millions of soldiers, marines, and seamen stationed there were fed vast amounts of SPAM.

8) There is an annual SPAM Jam block party in Waikiki. McDonald’s restaurants in Hawaii include SPAM, eggs, and rice on its breakfast menu.
cover

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World, is available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

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Hawaiian Pizza

Hawaiian Entree

HAWAIIAN PIZZA

INGREDIENTSHawaiPi-

no-stick spray
1 pizza crust
1 cup pineapple chunks
1/2 cup pineapple juice
1/2 teaspoon brown sugar
1 cup pasta sauce
6 ounces deli-sliced ham
2 tablespoons Parmesan cheese

SPECIALTY ITEM

pizza pan

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Spray pizza pan to keep the pizza from sticking. (It’s not a good feeling to have your great looking, great smelling pizza fall apart because it sticks to pan when you try to serve it.) Put crust on pan. Mix pineapple juice, brown sugar, and pasta sauce until sugar dissolves. Spread mix evenly over crust.

Cut deli-sliced ham into 1″ squares. Place ham squares and pineapple chunks on crust. Sprinkle Parmesan cheese on top. Put pizza in oven and bake at 400 degrees for 10-to-15 minutes or until cheese or crust in golden brown. Now you have a Hawaiian pizza. Life is good.

TIDBITS

1) In 334 BC Alexander the Great, invaded the Persian Empire, changing culinary history forever.

2) In 327 BC, while conquering much of the known world, he discovered sugar cane.

3) Alexander the Great came so close to dying in battle in 334BC.

4) If he had died then, he wouldn’t have conquered the Persian Empire. If he hadn’t have conquered the Persians, he wouldn’t have been able to bring back sugar to the Mediterranean.

5) In 1493, Columbus introduced sugar to the New World.

6) Sugar was so prized by European nobility up until 1800 that many bloody wars were fought over islands with thriving sugar plantations. These plantations required vast numbers of slaves to work them.

7) So if Alexander had died at a young age in battle as Alexander the Mediocre, a lot of conflict and misery might have been avoid.

8) On the other hand, we’d have no doughnuts, no cakes, and no brownies. And no pizza too; the yeast in the pizza requires sugar to rise.

9) So, Alex’s wars of conquest resulted in some good as well. Life’s life that.

10) 2001, sugar is found in outer space. Yay!

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Gateau A La Fleur D’oranger (Orange Flower-Water Cake)

French Dessert

GÂTEAU Â LA FLEUR D’ORANGER

INGREDIENTS

1/2 teaspoon flour
1 teaspoon butter
1/2 teaspoon brown sugar

1 1/2 cups flour
2 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt

2 large eggs
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup light brown sugar

1/2 cup unsalted butter
1 cup milk
1 1/4 teaspoons orange flower water

1/4 cup heavy whipping cream

UTENSIL

9-inch cake pan

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Sprinkle a 1/2 teaspoon of flour along the sides and bottom of cake pan. Do the same with a teaspoon of butter. Sprinkle 1/2 teaspoon brown sugar over the flour.

Put 1 1/2 cups flour, baking powder, and salt in first mixing bowl. Mix with whisk or fork.

In second mixing bowl, beat 2 eggs, but not so much they lose their dignity. Add sugar and brown sugar. Mix with whisk.
Melt 1/2 cup butter. Combine contents of second mixing bowl into first mixing bowl. Add melted butter, milk, and orange flower water. Mix with whisk or blender on cake setting. Pour entire contents into cake pan.

Put cake pan in preheated oven and cook for 35 to 40 minutes. Allow cake to cool before topping cake with whipping cream.

TIDBITS

1) Many American beers are 3% alcohol. A twelve-ounce can contains .36 ounces of alcohol.

2) Orange extract, a fair substitute, for orange flower water, is 79% alcohol. My two-ounce container contains 1.58 ounces of alcohol, the same as nearly 4.4 cans of beer.

3) I’m breaking out the orange-extract. Woo hoo! Party at my place!

4) “Honestly, officer, I only had a one-ounce bottle of orange extract.”

5) The officer rolls his eyes. “Like, I never heard that before.”

6) My Mexican vanilla extract is only 1.9% alcohol. This is why it isn’t as popular at Mexican parties.

8) Consumption of cough syrup soared during the Prohibition Era. Perhaps the alcoholic content of 50%, or more, of many them contributed to this surge.

9) Why didn’t Al Capone simply open orange-extract tasting centers? People would have gotten their alcohol and Chicago would have been spared a crime wave.

10) But I can’t picture him behind an apron.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Hawaiian Hot Dog Recipe from the cookbook, “Eat Me”

Hawaiian Entree

HAWAIIAN HOT DOG

INGREDIENTS

6 frankfurters
1 white onion
2 tablespoons butter
2 tablespoons cornstarch
2 cups crushed pineapple with juice
2 tablespoons apple cider vinegar
1/2 teaspoon turmeric
1/4 teaspoon cumin
1/4 teaspoon Meat MagicTM spice
1 cup brown sugar
3 slices bacon
6 hot dog buns

PREPARATION

Put franks in pot. Bring to boil. Reduce heat to medium and cook for about 15 minutes. Cut bacon slices in half. Fry bacon on medium-high until it starts to become crispy or golden brown. Toast buns. (This does not mean to sit down on a hot pad.)

Mince onion. Melt butter in saucepan. Saute onions in butter until soft. Add cornstarch, pineapple with juice, cider vinegar, turmeric, cumin, meat spice, and sugar.

Put frank in hot dog bun. Put a half slice of bacon alongside the frank. Put a big spoonful of onion/pineapple/sugar mixture on top of everything.

TIDBITS

1) And to those who think government studies don’t reek of excitement . . .

“There were a number of significant items from the USDA Frankfurter Study. Notably, the USDA-ARS package rinse method, developed to facilitate this study, was six times more effective at recovering Listeria from frankfurter packages than the currently approved USDA-FSIS method.”

2) Take a deep breath. Drink some ice-cold root beer and sit down until your heart stops beating like a jackhammer. Okay?

“Using the ARS method, analyses of the 32,800 one-pound packages indicated 543 or 1.6% (range = 0 to 16% for the 12 plants) tested positive for L monocytogenes.” And so on.

– USDA Agricultural Research Service (ARS) Eastern Regional Research Center (ERRC) Spring 2003. “Microbial Food Safety Research Unit: Special Projects Team at ERRC.”

3) Even the attribution to this article is sexy.

4) I found this article by Googling “fun facts about hot dogs.”

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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