Posts Tagged With: brain

Zereshk Polo Morgh (Barberry Rice Chicken)

Persian Entree

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ZERESHK POLO MORGH

(Barberry Rice Chicken)

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INGREDIENTS – SAFFRON BLOOM
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½ teaspoon saffron threads
⅓ cup hot water
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INGREDIENTS – CHICKEN
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1 large onion
½ red bell pepper
3 pounds bone-in chicken pieces (breast, thighs, or legs)
2 teaspoons saffron bloom (obtained below in preparation, 4 more tablespoons later)
½ teaspoon pepper
¼ teaspoon salt
¼ teaspoon turmeric
2 tablespoons butter
1½ tablespoons olive oil (3 tablespoons more later)
1 tablespoon olive oil (2 tablespoons more later)
¾ teaspoon advieh* (Persian spice mix) or coriander
2 tablespoons tomato paste
2 tablespoons saffron bloom (obtained below in preparation, 2 more tablespoons later)
1⅔ cups water
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INGREDIENTS – BARBERRY RICE
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1 cup dried barberries*
1⅔ cups long-grain rice or basmati rice
2 tablespoons saffron bloom (obtained below in preparation)
1 tablespoon butter
2 tablespoons olive oil
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* = May be obtained at Middle Eastern supermarkets or online.
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SPECIAL UTENSILS
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Dutch oven
rice cooker
colander
4 ramekins or cups
sonic obliterator
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Serves 4. Takes 2 hours.
PREPARATION – SAFFRON BLOOM
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Add saffron threads to 1st small mixing bowl. Use fingers to crush saffron threads. Add crushed saffron to small bowl. Pour ⅓ cup hot water on crushed saffron. Let steep for 10 minutes or until liquid turns deep orange.
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PREPARATION – CHICKEN
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Dice onion and red bell pepper. Add chicken pieces, 2 teaspoons saffron bloom, pepper, salt, and turmeric to large mixing bowl. Turn chicken parts over until thoroughly coated. Marinate in refrigerator for 20 minutes. Add marinated chicken, 2 tablespoons butter, and 1½ tablespoons olive oil to Dutch oven. Sauté for 10 minutes at medium-high heat or until chicken turns golden brown. Stir and flip occasionally . Remove chicken and set aside. (Keep remaining olive oil in Dutch oven..)
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Add 1 tablespoon olive oil, diced bell pepper, onion, and advieh to Dutch oven. Sauté for 5 minutes at medium-high heat or until onion softens. Stir frequently. Add tomato paste. Sauté at medium-high heat for 2 minutes. Stir constantly.
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Add 2 tablespoons saffron bloom and 1⅔ cups water to Dutch oven. Bring to boil using high heat. Stir frequently. Add back the set-aside chicken. Cover, reduce heat to low and simmer for 45 minutes or until chicken pieces become tender.
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PREPARATION – BARBERRY RICE
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While chicken simmers, While barberries sit, rinse rice in colander. Add rice to rice cooker. Cook rice according to instructions that come with rice cooker or on rice package. (You might need to cook in batches.) Add barberries to 2nd small mixing bowl. Add enough water to cover. Let sit for 15 minutes. Drain barberries in colander.
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Add 2 tablespoons saffron bloom to the barberries in the 2nd small mixing bowl. Mix with spatula or spoon until barberries become well coated. Add 1 tablespoon butter and 2 tablespoons olive oil to pan. Sauté at low-medium heat for 2 minutes or until barberries swell. Stir frequently.
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PREPARATION – ASSEMBLY
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Fluff rice with fork. Add rice and sautéed barberries to medium mixing bowl. Mix with fork until well blended. Fill ramekins with sauce from Dutch oven. Add a chicken to each guest’s plate. Place barberry rice next to chicken. Set ramekin next to chicken and rice. By all means, use your sonic obliterator on any oaf who gives you guff, any guff at all, about this creation of yours or if he arrives to dining table more than two minutes late.
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TIDBITS
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1) What if a man comes running toward you yelling, “Zeresk polo morgh?” Your frantic brain might think he’s saying, “I want to bury you in zucchinis.” That’s terrifying. Now if you know he’s saying “Barberry rice chicken,” you’d be less frightened. Okay, a man charging you shouting, “Barberry rice chicken” is still intimidating. Best to run away, but not as fast as when he wanted to bury you in zucchinis. So, never shout your country’s entrees while running toward someone or not.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Treat People With Respect

 

It’s important to call people the way should be called.

Take the case  of Fernando Aloysius Bunion.

He wants his friends to call him “Fern.”

If you are almost a friend or a frequent business associate, say “Fernando, your fly is unzipped.”

If you are semi-frequent acquaintance, refer to him as “Bunion, check your fly.”

If you are engaging him in formal correspondence, address him as “Mr. Fernando Bunion.” Companies who call him “Fernando” when writing out of the blue are complete, are staffed with overfamiliar oafs.* And Fern, I am a friend of his, will toss your missive unread into the trash bin.

* = Why isn’t the plural of “oaf” not “oaves?” The plural of loaf is loaves.

 

So, it is was with some satisfaction that my close friend Brain Posterior was addressed as Mr. Brain Posterior. “You cannot believe how many people up and call me “Brain” or only slightly better, “Brain. But Imaging Healthcare treated my name and  me with the respect I deserve. If damage to my skull or brain warrants an MRI, I know where I’ll going.”

See below how Imaging Healthcare informs my friend he’s getting fossa without contrast. People, this is the gold standard.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

Categories: manners, observations | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

How Big Are My Body Parts in Terms of Large Slurpee(tm) Cups?

It is, of course, fascinating to wonder about the size of our internal organs. This was nearly the only thing our ancestors talked about before the advent of the internet, computers, electricity, and other newfangled inventions. Nowadays, we’ve diverted some of our attention to photos of puppies, kitten, and where to find the best Taco-Tuesday deals.

But we still care the size of our organs. As who would not?

It transpires that the average size of a human brain is 1350 cubic centimers. How big is that? And what is a cubic centimer?

Clearly the size of anything in cubic centimeters eludes us? We need a image of something we all readily know.

The large Slurpee cup. The volume of this well-known beverage is 651 cubic centimeters. Now we’re cooking with gas. Using this vital information, we can calculate the size of all sorts of innards into something we can all understand. And here we go.

HUMAN BODY PART SIZE CHART

organ…………………………….volume in large Slurpee cups


It’s as big as 2.074 large Slurpee cups

air……………………….9.22    (Not an organ, but it’s inside our body so I’m listing it.)
body, male………….92.17
brain………………….2.074
chimpanzee brain….0.59  (Chimpanzees are not humans. So, we do not possess chimpanzee brains. But it’s an enchanting fact.)
fat………………………18.43   (We’ve been drinking a lot of Slurpees.)
hair……………………..0.02
heart……………………0.46
homo erectus brain..1.23  (Home erectus is an ancestor for many of us and us it’s nice to know the size of forebearer Ogg’s brain.)
intestinal tract………2.76
kidneys…………………0.41
liver……………………..2.26
lungs……………………..1.19
muscle………………..35.33
pancreas……………….0.15  (This small organ does something.)
poop…………………….3.07  (What your “full of,” is this amount.)
skeleton………………10.56
skin………………………2.76
urinary bladder……..0.21   (Where does all that Slurpee go, if not there?)
urine…………………….0.77   (That’s bigger than our bladder! What the heck?)

Now you know. If your local eater bar or restaurant holds quiz show features the topic body-part sizes, you’ll win for sure.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

­My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

Categories: observations, science, things that make me happy | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Paul’s Awesome English Dictionary: Today’s Word – Porphin

Endorphins are peptides produced in the brain that block the perception of pain and increase feelings of wellbeing.

Life can be hard. People can be let us down and be downright mean to us. Illnesses make us depressed.

We need to do and see things stymy that perception of pain and make us feel better.

Endorphins in our brain do just that. Unleash the kraken! Oops, no.

Unleash the endorphins!

How do we accomplish that? Transform some object, entity, or feeling that saddens us into something that makes us happy.

What brings us down? Orphan socks. For example, a single sock adorned with delightful hula dancers.

What makes us happy? Uniting two ORPan socks to reconstitute a Pair of socks.

Now, we’re cooking with gas. Let the great endORPHIN event begin.

If only there were a word to describe this endorphin flood. And now we have.

TODAY’S AWESOME WORD

PORPHIN

Awesome entry #39

 

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Paul's Awesome Dictionay | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Giving “War and Peace” to Viruses and Bacteria

I hate viruses and bacteria. They gave me Covid. This is in clear contravention of the tacit treaty that I don’t attack them and they don’t attack me.

Yet here we are, I’ve been as a sick as a dog and am taking forever to get better.

The gloves are off. I shall be using my brain to get back at them.

I shall shrink billions and billions of copies of War and Peace to molecular size. I shall put these tiny books into pills, just like we do with antibiotics.

Covid19s are voracious readers, they’ve just never given the chance to ready anything. (Clearly, this is a great, untapped market for the major publishing houses.)

Anyway, I call tell you that War and Peace is tremendously hard to plow all the way through,

Imagine then, how hard it would be and how long it take for the Corona19 virus to read that lengthy novel. Prima facie evidence suggests our brain is much bigger than that of the evil virus. Take this simple test: Look in a mirror. You can see your head at first glance. Assume your brain is surrounded by an inch of skull. Logic then dictates your brain must be inches long in all directions. Consider the virus. You can’t see it with the unaided eye. You can’t even see it with that Mr. Professor microscope you gave your five-year old for Christmas. No, you need a super-duper microscope used by the biggest-research facilities.

So, the virus must be incredibly tiny. Only part of the virus is reserved for its brain. Then take away the virus’ skull from that and you’re left with a really itsy, bitsy, teeny, weeny virus brain. A brain that small must make reading War and Peace a frightfully slow slog for Joe Virus.

Now here’s the genius of my plan. No virus, or bacterium for that matter, is going to live long enough to finish War and Peace. Indeed, it will be so busy trying to read the great Russian novel, that it won’t find anybody to infect in its short lifetime. Infections will drop to zero. Viruses already in a human host will be too engrossed to further attack any more human cells. The human host will stage a rapid recovery.

Thus, by this literary assault, Covid19 will disappear overnight. We just need to print and miniaturize billions, if not trillions of copies of War and Peace. They need not be first editions, any printing will do.

I see a Nobel Prize in my future.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Nobel Prize | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Paul’s Awesome English Dictionary – Today’s Word – Tempid

We are all brilliant, every last one of us. We have scintillating ideas all the time. So, why aren’t we given more credit for our intelligence? Why hasn’t the world been turned into a paradise? Why aren’t a hundred Nobel prizes given out every year?

Because we didn’t write them down the moment our glorious idea illuminated our brain. Something happened. Something distracted us. Taxes perhaps or plain, old, ordinary chores needed to be done. And we forgot. The world will never be improved.  People won’t ever look at us and say, “He made our lives ever so much better, what a wonderful person.”

These events brings us to

TODAY’S AWESOME WORD

TEMPID

Awesome entry #33

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Paul's Awesome Dictionay | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A Little Bit About Me

My eyes don’t always work together. It’s not noticeable at medium-to-far distances, but reading can be quite tiring as each eye does it own thing. I’ve been doing eye therapy for about a year now and I have noticed a definite improvement in eye coordination. I’m able to read for increasing lengths of time. I have various exercises. One of them is pencilling in an adult-skill coloring book. (To the left in the below picture.) Precise pencilling is the point of this exercise. I make a great effort not to spill my pencilling into a neighboring blank sections and also to fill in every section completely. Each picture takes hours.

I enjoy jigsaw puzzles, especially the 1,000-pieces variety. I usually start when I wake up and keep going until I finish. This usually occurs in the wee hours of the morning. I find it nearly impossible to stop. The further along I get, the more I see pieces coming together in my brain. Indeed, I see envision pictures of matching pieces for a few hours after completion.

I hope you enjoy this glimpse into me; it’s not easy for me to open up.

Take care.

A bit of me

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: about me | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Paul’s Awesome English Dictionary – Today’s Word, Pumawipe

We are alive become of you. Thank you, you magnificent sunbeam.

Awesome entry #8

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Paul's Awesome Dictionay | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

400 Blogs in a Row

This is my 400th blog in a row. Thank you, gentle readers, for reading them. Writing for you takes
my mind off problems in my life and in the world around us. Blogging also exercises my brain. It’s
always good to take the brain for a walk around the block.

In honor of this, I’ve just learned how to insert a moving image into my blog. Go me! Go us!
Let’s go for another 400 more blogs.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

Categories: observations | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Borhani, Bangladeshi Spicy Yogurt Drink

Bangladeshi Appetizer

BORHANI
(spicy yogurt drink)

INGREDIENTSBorhani-

½ teaspoon coriander seeds
½ teaspoon cumin seeds
½ teaspoon brown mustard seeds or regular mustard seeds
2 green chiles.
4 tablespoons fresh mint leaves
½ teaspoon black salt or rock salt or coarse salt
1 teaspoon coarse or regular salt
3½ cups plain yogurt
1¼ cups water

SPECIAL UTENSIL

spice grinder

PREPARATION

Add coriander seeds, cumin seeds, and mustard seeds to pan. Cook using medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until seeds start popping. Grind popped seeds in spice grinder. Seed and mince green chiles. Mince mint leaves. Mix green chile and mint together with finger to form a paste. (Be sure to wash hands afterwards. Finger can stand handling chiles. The other parts of yourself cannot. They will burn.)

Add ground seeds, chile/mint paste, black salt, coarse salt, yogurt, and water to blender. Puree until smooth. Put borhani, yogurt drink, in refrigerator until it is cold. Note this drink is definitely an acquired taste.

TIDBITS

1) Borhani is an anagram for Ho Brain.

2) Ho Brain was a punk-rock band from Seattle. On April 17, 1984, they performed their smash hit single, “Culture War.” Although this song was written to be scathing, if unintelligible, satire of America’s cultural imperialism, their frenzied audience took it to mean that the government was tampering with the city’s yogurt supply.

3) The Seattle Yogurt Riots of 1984 lasted for four days during which thousands were arrested and newspaper headlines everywhere ended in exclamation points. The riots petered out as the rowdies gradually realized they never really ever ate plain yogurt. Ho Brain went on to do a world tour of Washington and Oregon before getting lost in an infinite berry patch. And so it goes.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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