Monthly Archives: October 2024

What I Did Today

Venus. It’s hot.

Woke up, got up, showed, and dressed. I graciously accept a medal for Achievement in Adulting.

Went to my office. Saw no bunnies outside my window. Got bored. Dabbled in finance. Accidently destablized the entire global economy. Restablized everything before anyone noitced. So no harm, no foul.

Then I went to physical therapy for problems with my lower back. I really got a work out. All sorts of muscles were stretched. I felt as fit as Achilles, before an arrow shot into his heel killed him. Culinary historians call this problem an Achilles’ Arrow.

Any way, I felt fit! After 30 minutes of intense exercise, I was prepared to conquer the Summer Olympics. I called the International Olympic Committee, IOC, to tell them I was ready. They said sorry, that the Olympics already took place earlier this year.

What a bummer. I swallowed my disappointment by eating a huge meatball sandwich for lunch; no need to keep in shape. I discontinue my excercise regime.

I got groceries. I bought a pair of slip-on shoes. May they’ll help me win gold medals in the next olympics

3:22 pm: I activate my time machine. I wait 60 seconds for it to function.

3:23 pm: It’s exacly one minute later. My time machine works.

I am so proud. I shall call it a time piece.

3:25 pm: I drive home, taking full use of the miracle of internal combustion.

5:57 pm: America gets invaded by Venusians. My home is the site of the initial invasion.  They say that they’re conquering our planet because it’s so much cooler than theirs. I offer them some homade ice cream. They like it very much. So much so that they call off their attack with the proviso that I give them ice cream every year. I agree and even offer to throw in a big bag of homemade chocolate chips with each visit. They can’t believe their good luck. We part, having become the best of friends.

My frenetic day left me exhausted, so I relaxed by watching mind-improving comedies on TV.

I do hope you behaved yourselves while I was preoccupied.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: about me, what this country needs | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Archer Woman Misheard Lyrics

Maurice Chevalier songs had big hits in America and in France. The debonaire Frenchman even made it big in Hollywood. He truly was a magnificent and popular singer of the 20th century. So it comes as a massive shock to many to discover his immense popularity in England during the Hundred Years Wars (1347 – 1453). Indeed no English army rampaged around the medieval French countryside without singing Monsieur Chevalier’s most beloved songs, collectively known as “Les Chansons de Chevalier.”

All this begs the question, how did M. Chavalier get so popular way back then? Social media.

Anyway, Chavalier’s beautiful song “Louise” starts with the lyrics:

“Wonderful Oh, it’s wonderful
To be in love with you.
Beautiful! You’re so beautiful,
You haunt me all day through.”

However, Archer Woman, mighty warrior that she was, felt this song spoke directly to her because she thought it went:

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Misheard lyrics #22

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Inigo Montoya on Trafic Etiquette

I feel Inigo Montoya’s pain.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
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My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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You Need to See a Spa Massage and a Fish

Today was a tough day, full of stress. Despite your best intentions, many more things went wrong than right. Your muscles have knotted up something fierce. You ache all over. You want company, but only if it’s quiet. And after your masseuse puts things right, you’ll be hungry. And you’ll yearn for lemon piccata fish. As who would not?

‘You need to see a spa message with a fish next to a head.

You need to see #42

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Paul’s Awesome English Dictionary – Today’s Phrase: Gravitational Experiment

How many times a day has this happened to you? An apple that was in your hands is now on the floor. Or milk that was all the way to the top of the glass is now spreading on the tablecloth.

The most common explanation for these two events is that you dropped the apple and knocked over the glass of milk. You, are in fact, clumsy.

This reasoning is most unkind. Being called a klutz damages your soul. You get depressed. You’re not even allowed to deal with your grief, your destroyed self esteem, by weeping over the growing puddle of milk. “Don’t cry over spilt milk.” Not only that some former friend will say, “Boy, are you clumsy?” And you are most certainly that. And yet, society denies you the release of sobbing. You find yourself abandoning complete sentences in favor of. Sentence fragments. And we all know sentence fragments are Devil’s gateway to murderous deeds.

However, your downward spiral into gratuitous slaying is isn’t inevitable.

Yay.

We need to change the word clumsiness, even the phrases dropping things and spilling thing. We need an impressive word, scientific words even, to be used instead.

And now there is:

TODAY’S AWESOME PHRASE

Gravitational Experiment

 

Awesome entry #48

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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The Law of Formatting

I came up with the following law after many,  many mano-a-mano bouts with formatting software.

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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
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My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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My Grandma’s Wisdom – Useful

I miss my Swedish grandma very much. She was kind and very attentive. The following is something she used to say.

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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
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My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Minnie Mouse Latch Hook Project – Part 1

I finished my Charlie Brown latch hook project, but with illnesses, doctor visits, and plate tectonics I’ve delayed starting a new project.

But no longer.

But first, two days I brought the mounted Charlie Brown(tm) latch hook to the crafts class. A librarian saw me holding it and took a picture. My project and I will be in a forthcoming county newsletter. Two other crafters took pictures as well. It all made me feel special and I was dearly needing a pick me up.

I’m taking over a friend’s barely started latch hook of Minnie Mouse(tm). It’s a little harder as the thread is somewhat thicker,

Anyway, here is my start.

Minnie Mouse – 10/04/2024

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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
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My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Short Post – Sad

I’m suffering from general sadness. One bit of good news; my back is good enough to start yoga lessons.

Thanks for putting up with this.

Categories: my life | 2 Comments

Chicken Flautas – 2

Mexican Entree

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CHICKEN FLAUTAS

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INGREDIENTS
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2 pounds chicken breasts
2 garlic cloves
1 small onion
2 tablespoons vegetable oil (4 cups more later)
¼ teaspoon cumin
¼ pound queso fresco or feta cheese
½ cup salsa
12 uncooked or freshly made corn tortillas*
2 cups vegetable oil (or at least ½” deep)
2 tablespoons fresh cilantro
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* = Cooked tortillas from the store require softening in the skillet or microwave. Uncooked tortillas while harder to find, make preparation easier.
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SPECIAL UTENSILS
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toothpicks
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Serves 6. Takes 1 hour 30 minutes.
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PREPARATION
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Cut chicken breasts into parts weighing ½ pound. Add chicken parts and enough water to cover to pot. Bring to boil using high heat. Reduce heat to low-medium and simmer for 25 minutes or until chicken shreds easily.  Move chicken to plate. Shred chicken using forks.
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While chicken simmers, mince garlic and dice onion. Add garlic, onion, and 2 tablespoons oil to pan. Sauté at medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until garlic and onion soften. Stir frequently. Add shredded chicken and cumin. Stir until well blended. Remove from heat. Add equal amounts of the shredded chicken/onion mixture, queso fresco, and salsa to the middle of each tortilla. Roll up tortillas tightly and pin together with toothpicks. Break off toothpick ends if they stick out more than ¼” or so. (Rolled-up tortillas that have toothpicks that stick out a lot are difficult to turn over when frying.)
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Add oil to pan. Heat oil using medium-high heat until a tiny piece of the tortillas starts to dance in the oil. Add rolled-up tortillas to pan seem-side down. Sauté at medium-high heat for 4 minutes or until tortillas turn golden brown. (You will probably need to turn the heat down or sauté for less time with succeeding batches.) Turn frequently to ensure even browning. (Be careful of splattering.) Remove from heat. Drain on plate covered with paper towel. Dice cilantro. Garnish with cilantro. Goes well with salsa.
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TIDBITS
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1) Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, “The Angler of Vienna,” was also a pretty darn talented musician, writing such toe-tapping operas such as, Il re Pastore, Zaide, Die Entführung aus dem Serail, Le Nozze di Figaro, Don Giovanni, and Cossi Fan Tutte.” By the way, Mozart’s agent, Paolo Fettuccine, arranged for tutti frutti, a new ice cream with chopped and candied fruits in it to be served at Cossi Fan Tutte’s debut. It was a stroke of P.R. genius. Ice cream lovers came for the dessert and stayed for the opera. Wolfgang never looked back, except when on the way to his secret fishing places. But it is in Mozie’s culinary operas where The Angler of Vienna’s talents really shined. Who can fail to be uplifted by his sole English work, The Three Penny Hot Dog? or feel the anguish of Gibt es wirklich keine Apfelkuchen? (Is There Really No Apple Pie?)
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2) The years 1784 – 1787 were his happiest; he had great fishing spots to himself. These interludes of quietude were also the moments of his greatest musical creativity as witnessed by the Fish Cycle operas: Der Kabeljau auf dem Markt (The Cod at the Market), Limone Pesce Impanati (Lemon Breaded Fish), and of course, “The Angler of Vienna’s favorite, Il Mio Punto di Pesca (My Own Fishing Spot.)
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3) It’s ironic that Mozart, a famous fan of German cuisine, would write his greatest opera about Mexican food. But who could not be inspired by the brilliant cuisine of Vienna’s famous restaurant, Los Cinco Tacos? Wolfang tried the restaurant’s chicken flautas and fell in love with them. He would stay up all night to compose the brilliant, brilliant I say, opera, Las Flautas Mágicas (The Magic Flautas.) Unfortunately, the politics of that year dictated that no operas be performed in Spanish. (Do try to see it if it’s being performed nearby.) Broken hearted that he was, Mozart rewrote his opus. And so we have the not too shabby Die Zauberflöte (The Magic Flute.) But Mozart would never again write about Mexican food.
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4) Then on December 5, 1791, Mozart’s muse, Ernestine, imparted to him the idea of writing the opera Stoßen der magische Kugelfisch, (Puff the Magic Pufferfish.) So strong was Mozie’s excitement over what he knew what would be his magnum opus that he grabbed his fishing pole and raced to Danube River. He continually glanced over his shoulders to see if anyone were following, for all the local anglers would descend on him en masse and fish and fish out his little side pond. It was heartbreaking. Mozart had to scrap one seafood opera after another because he couldn’t bring in enough fish to give a true, abiding sense of its flavor and abiding soul. On one occasion, competitors once fished all the trout from his special inlet. This is why we never got to hear Guten Morgen, Forelle (Good Morning, Trout) and had to settle for the markedly inferior, Don Giovanni.
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5) Anyway, Mozie eluded all anglers that day and caught six pufferfish. (1791 was an extraordinarily bountiful year for Viennese pufferfish.) Wolfie scurried home as fast as his chubby little legs would carry him. He cooked all the fish. Unfortunately, he died. For while his wiener schnitzel was second to none, he didn’t know how beans about preparing the potentially fatal pufferfish. His last words were, “Gott im Himmel, where are my car keys?” There were, of course, no cars in 1791 and so no need for car keys. Culinary historians Mozart had channeling the frustration of millions upon millions of people two centuries later.But Wolfgang’s musical vision for the pufferfish lasted through the centuries floating through the atmosphere until it found a suitable vessel, a worthy receptacle. This is how we got the classic song, “Puff the Magic Dragon” by Peter, Paul, and Mary. Sure the name and length of Stoßen der magische Kugelfisch changed  a bit, but that magnum-opus had been floating around for centuries and became susceptible to modern musical scenes. And there you go.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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