Monthly Archives: January 2017

Piragi

Posted on January 11, 2017 by pauldelancey

Latvian Entree

PIRAGI

INGREDIENTS – DOUGHpiragi

⅓ cup warm water
1 teaspoon sugar (3½ more tablespoons later)
2 tablespoons yeast

¾ cup butter
1½ cups milk
1 teaspoon salt
3½ tablespoons sugar
1 egg yolk (1 entire egg later)
1 tablespoon sour cream
5 cups flour (2 more tablespoons later)

INGREDIENTS – FILLING

1 pound bacon
1 small onion
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
¼ teaspoon pepper
½ teaspoon salt

INGREDIENTS – ASSEMBLY

2 tablespoons flour
1 egg

SPECIAL UTENSILS

2 cookie sheets
pastry brush
parchment paper

Makes 30. Takes 3 hours.

PREPARATION – DOUGH

Add 1 teaspoon sugar and warm water to mixing bowl. Whisk until sugar dissolves. Sprinkle yeast over sugary water. Let sit for 10 minutes or yeast becomes foamy.

While yeast foams, add butter to small pot. Melt butter using medium-high heat. Add milk, salt, and sugar. Heat until milk is almost ready to boil. Stir constantly. Remove from heat.

Add milk mixture into mixing bowl with yeasty water. Add egg yolk and sour cream. Gradually add flour. Blend with electric beater set to low until dough forms. Cover bowl with thin towel and let sit for 1½ hours.

PREPARATION – FILLING

While dough rises, dice bacon and onion. Add vegetable oil, bacon, and onion to pan. Sauté at medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onion softens. Stir frequently. Add pepper and salt. Remove from heat and let cool in refrigerator for 10 minutes.

PREPARATION – ASSEMBLY

While dough rises and filling cools, knead dough by hand or by bread machine for 20 minutes or until dough is elastic. Dust roller and flat surface with 2 tablespoons flour. Add dough to flat surfarce. Roll out dough until it is ¼” thick.

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Separate egg. Make 3″ circles in dough. A drinking glass works well for this. Add 1 teaspoon to center of dough circle. Brush a thin strip of egg white along edges of dough circle. Fold dough circle in half. Use tip of fork to seal edges together. Repeat until all dough and filling is used. These are the piragi.

Put parchment paper on cookie sheets. Place piragi on parchment paper. Beat egg yolk with fork or whisk. Brush egg yolk over piragi. Heat oven to 400 degrees. Bake for 12 minutes or until piragi turn golden brown

TIDBITS

1) “Piragi” is an anagram for “Air Pig.” It’s a hidden bit of history, but many of our commercial planes were once flown by pigs.

2) Oil prices soared during the Oil Embargo of 1973 So did the price of aviation fuel. Airlines became frantic in their search to reduce fuel costs. One way was to reduce of a fully-loaded plane. So, for a brief time, stewardesses threw passengers out the emergency door, starting with those who didn’t listen to the pre-flight safety instructions. The technique worked! Fuel costs plummeted.

3) So did ridership. A dead passenger is not a return passenger. Plus, people became skittish about booking a flight when it might mean being ejected over the Atlantic. Passengers became downright resentful toward stewardesses. Indeed, the very word “stewardess” became a curse word. This is the reason they are now called flight attendants. It’s kinda like calling used cars “pre-owned.”

4) The average feral pig weighs 125 pounds. (Only wild pigs can be trained to fly jets. Who knew?) The average man tips the scale at 170. A small difference to be sure, but enough over the course of millions of flights to cut fuel costs to the point of keeping air travel economically viable. Whew.

5) Unfortunately, the pig pilots buzzed workers at pork rendering plants. In 1974 alone, four crashes resulted from such behavior. This being the 70s, airlines listened to customer concerns and fired their pig aviators. There are persistent whispers, however, that shadowy governmental agencies still employ pig pilots in covert operations. These critters are tough. Don’t discuss bacon around them.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Chicken Vindaloo

Posted on January 9, 2017 by pauldelancey

Indian Entree

CHICKEN VINDALOO

INGREDIENTS – MARINADEchickenvindaloo

3 garlic cloves
1½” ginger root
3 medium tomatoes
¾ teaspoon cayenne pepper
1 teaspoon cinnamon
½ teaspoon ground cloves
½ teaspoon coriander
1 teaspoon cumin
4 teaspoons garam masala
1 teaspoon paprika
½ teaspoon pepper
1 teaspoon salt
½ tablespoon turmeric
1 tablespoon water
2 tablespoons white vinegar (2 more tablespoons later)

INGREDIENTS – OTHER

2 pounds boneless chicken thighs
2 medium potatoes
3 medium onions
2 tablespoons ghee or vegetable oil
2 cups chicken broth
2 tablespoons white vinegar

SPECIAL UTENSIL

blender

Serves 6. Takes 3 hours.

PREPARATION

Add all marinade ingredients to blender. Blend on medium setting until smooth. This is the marinade. Cut chicken thighs into 1″ squares. Add marinade and chicken squares to large mixing bowl. Mix until chicken is well coated. Cover and marinate in refrigerator for 2 hours.

While chicken marinates, peel potatoes. Cut potatoes into ½” cubes. Mince onions. Add ghee and onion to large pot. Sauté at medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onion softens. Stir frequently. Add marinated chicken. Cook for 5 minutes on medium-high heat. Stir occasionally. Add potatoes, chicken broth, and 2 tablespoons white vinegar. Bring to boil using high heat. Reduce heat to low. Cover and simmer for 50 minutes or until potato is tender. Goes well with rice.

TIDBITS

1) After 75 years and invoking Crown Really Official Secrets (CROS), I can finally tell the heroic story of Mrs. Linda Voo.

2) It was 1941. The Battle of Britain was over. The Nazi air fleet had failed in its attempt to bomb the British people into submission. It was time to take the war to the German aggressors. But how? The British army was minuscule compared to Germany’s and had no way to land on the continent. Aha, by air! The British Air Royal Force, BARF, would attack the Hun’s war factories by air.

3) Though there was that delay when Winston Churchill secured the regisnation of the dyslexic Sir Orbert Abcon from the War Nimistry. It took over a month to correct the names he misspelled. Later that year, the newly renamed RAF commenced a massive bombing campaign of Berlin and the industrial centers of the Ruhr Valley.

4) What the bombers actually destroyed were a modern-art school–amazingly still thriving in Hitler’s Germany, but then again the Fuhrer was a frustrated art student and who knew he cottoned to modern art?–and two-dozen pig farms–the German war machine loved pork.

5) Take a deep breath to recover from the run-on sentence of the previous tidbit.

6) The continued futility of the RAF’s bombing campaign went on for months. Then in November, 1941, Lieutenant Nigel Voo failed to come back from a raid. The squadron was supposed to blow up a ball-bearing plant in Hamburg. Instead the heroic Voo and his crew were shot down after dropping bombs on nearby Anfurt’s annual ParcheesiTM tournament.

7) This tragedy enraged his wife, Linda, a tea lady at Biggins Hill airbase. She threw her teapot to the ground and shouted at the airmen, “You bloody idiots. You couldn’t find your way to a cod-and-chips store if you were standing in front of it. The Three Blind Mice have nothing on you lot.”

“Well now, see here, Mrs. Voo, those are unkind words, they are. We get lost, we do. It’s tough reading a map and trying to see landmarks especially at night,” said the squadron leader.

“Too right, you get lost, you ninnies. Why don’t you ask for directions?”

“Well, mum, we’re men. We don’t like to ask for directions. I mean they’re the enemy and were are flying thousands of feet above the ground. We couldn’t ask even if we wanted.”

“‘Tis bloody possible. I’ll show the likes of you.”

8) And she did. She flew in the lead plane. Whenever the squadron got lost, Mrs. Voo bungee jumped out the plane and asked a local farmer for directions. Sure, there was a war of annihilation going on, but German farmers always act courteous to any lady who drops in. The RAF’s bombers never missed a target what with Mrs. Voo and a thousand others like her flying with them . Germany was doomed.

9) Mrs. Voo’s code name was the anagram, Vindaloo. The British government even created an entree in India with that name just to provide cover.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Shrimp Fried Rice

Posted on January 8, 2017 by pauldelancey

Chinese Entree

SHRIMP FRIED RICE

INGREDIENTSshrimpfriedrice

1 cup rice
2 medium carrots
1″ ginger root
2 stalks green onions
2 eggs
½ tablespoon sesame oil (1 more tablespoon later)
1 tablespoon sesame oil
2 tablespoons soy sauce
¼ teaspoon pepper
¼ teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons canola oil or olive oil
¾ pound medium shrimp, peeled and deveined
½ cup snow peas or snap peas

SPECIAL UTENSILS

food processor or grater
spice grinder
wok or skillet

Serves 4. Takes 35 minutes

PREPARATION

Cook rice according to directions on package. Grate carrot using food processor or grater. Grind ginger root in spice grinder. Dice green onions.

Add eggs to small mixing bowl. Whisk eggs. Add 1 tablespoon sesame oil to wok. Heat oil with medium-high heat until a tiny bit of egg dances in the oil. Add eggs. Sauté egg for 1 minute. (Do not stir.) Flip egg over with spatula. Add egg to flat surface. Cut egg into ¼” wide strips.

Add 1 tablespoon sesame oil, soy sauce, pepper, and salt to mixing bowl. Blend with whisk or fork. Add canola oil to wok. Heat on medium-high heat until tiny bit of ginger dances in the oil. Add shrimp. Sauté shrimp for 2 minutes or until shrimp turns pinkish orange. Stir and flip shrimp occasionally. Remove shrimp and set aside. Keep canola oil. Add ginger, carrot, and snow peas to wok. Sauté on medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until carrot and snow peas soften. Stir frequently.

Add egg strips, rice, green onion, sesame oil/soy sauce mixture to wok. Sauté on medium heat for 3 minutes. Stir frequently. Add shrimp. Stir. Serve in bowls immediately.
TIDBITS

1) The children’s game, CandylandTM, was invented way back when in prehistoric times by Philippe and Miriam Davout. The Davouts were devoted parents and persistent entrepreneurs. Hence, the saying that’s been passed down through the millennia, “As loving as a Davout hug. As novel as Davout fire.” Another stone-age adage that we know is, “As ugh as Ogg’s mastodon mignon.” But Chef Ogg deserves his own tidbit series after a recipe and so we return to the Davouts.

2) Anyway, little Yvette Davout didn’t have much to do. She had no school to go to. And what would the teacher have taught her? “Stay inside your cave. The pumas lurking outside will eat you.” That’s it. Her parents taught her. No need for school.

3) This attitude persists to this day. However, the truth be told, not many people nowadays do not get eaten, or even seriously challenged, by pumas. So, this view is kinda hard to challenge.

4) Meanwhile back at the cave, Yvette fussed and fussed. She couldn’t go out to see the Murat sisters. And after, their daughter Lucy got eaten by pumas, Daddy and Mommy Murat wouldn’t let their remaining girls visit Yvette anymore.

5) It got hot during Olduvai Gorge summers, particularly in a cave. Sweat rolled down Yvette’s sloped forehead like Eddie the Eagle doing a ski jump. She needed a distraction before she went stir crazy and ran outside to eaten by pumas.

6) Then one glorious noon, a thought, the first of the day, popped into Miriam’s head. She explained it to Philippe. He smiled. “Yo ho, Miram, that a’s glorious idea, wife.” They chattered excitedly about rules, then stopped abruptly. Miriam slapped her head with a rock. It didn’t hurt, her skull was thick. Cave folk did this all the time.

7) Miriam, having waited for the author’s intrusion to stop said, “Boo hoo, we don’t have the requisite technology to fabricate the many colors needed to paint this game’s playing cards.”

8) That was quite a complex statement for the time. Philippe, having neither a dictionary nor even a ThesaurusTM, had to guess at its meaning. Then he too smashed something to his head. It was a large chunk of obsidian. It splintered into nice sharp dice-like cubes.

9) The Davouts looked at each other. Light bulbs, at once a metaphor and an artifact, lit up above their heads. “Let’s make dice–the first use of this word–out of these, these DICE,” said Philippe and they did. They finished the game lickety split.

10) Little Yvette loved the game. She played it and played it until the sharp edges of the obsidian dice sliced off too many of her fingers. Distraught and bored, she took up painting. It was tough painting with two fingers on her hand, hence the crudely shaped hunters and mastodons we see depicted in the Lascaux caves.

11) Yvette eventually gave her dice to her own daughter, Sabine. Sabine too was forbidden to go outside the cave or to play bloody Candyland. She took to cooking instead. Being smart like all dawn-of-humanity Davouts, Sabine took to chopping onions with her Candyland dice. She called this technique dicing and so do we. There you go.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Miso Pork Ramen

Posted on January 7, 2017 by pauldelancey

Japanese Soup

MISO PORK RAMEN

INGREDIENTSmisoporkramen

1 pound pork
1 garlic cloves (2 additional cloves later)
3 tablespoons soy sauce
3 eggs
2 garlic cloves
1″ ginger root
5 stalks green onions (white and green parts used in separate places)
2 tablespoons mirin
1 tablespoon sesame oil
2 cups pork or chicken broth
3 cups water
3 tablespoons miso
¾ teaspoon salt
½ pound ramen noodles

Makes 8 bowls. Takes 1 hour 20 minutes.

PREPARATION

Slice pork into strips 2″ long, 1″ wide, and ¼” high. Mince 1 garlic clove. Cut green onions into white and green parts. Add pork strips, mince 1 garlic clove, and soy sauce to mixing bowl. Stir until pork strips are coated. Let marinate in refrigerator for 1 hour.

While pork marinates, add enough water to 1st pot to cover eggs. Bring water to boil using high heat. Carefully add eggs to boling water. Boil from 8 minutes for soft-boiled eggs to 12 minutes for hard boiled eggs.

While eggs boil, dice 2 garlic cloves. Grate ginger root. Cut white parts of green onions into ¼” slices. Add mirin, sesame oil, 2 diced garlic cloves, ginger root, and white parts to 2nd pot. Sauté at medium heat for 2 minutes or until fragrant and green onion softens. Stir frequently. Add broth, water, miso, and salt to 2nd pot. Bring to boil using high heat. Cut ramen noodles in half. Add ramen and pork with its marinade. Reduce heat to warm-medium. Simmer for 3 minutes or until noodles are soft. Stir occasionally.

While 2nd pot simmers, peel eggs and slice them in half. Cut green parts of onions into ¼” slices. Add ramen noodles/liquid to bowls. Garnish bowls with egg halves and sliced green parts.

TIDBITS

1) This is Number One Son’s favorite dish. Whenever asked what he wanted to eat, he’d say, “Ramen.” He’s always made me so proud, from his birth to this very moment. He’s kind, sympathetic, loving, smart, and diligent. I love him so. Number One Son, this recipe honors you.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Spotlight on Cathy Sikorski, Esq. – Author of “Who Moved my Teeth?

Posted on January 6, 2017 by pauldelancey

Excerpt from Who Moved my Teeth?

 

CHAPTER ONEfuckingteeth

WHAT SHOULD I HAVE ALREADY DONE?

Here’s a list of things you should do if you haven’t done them already, either for your loved one that you are/or will be a caregiver for quite soon…OR FOR YOURSELF!

  1. GET A DURABLE POWER OF ATTORNEY….ACTUALLY GET TWO OR THREE!

What is a Power of Attorney? This is a critical document that allows someone to take care of your healthcare and business affairs. And everyone in the healthcare and caregiving business will ask you if you have a POA (Power of Attorney).

A Power of Attorney document comes in a few flavors. There are generally two types of POAs and they need to be Durable, kind of like a good pair of Levi Jeans. Durable means that no matter what happens to you, as a living person, the POA stays in effect. That’s a good thing because what would be the whole point of a POA if it doesn’t work when you can’t.  Like my Nana’s orthopedic shoes, she was never without them because she needed them for her health. And, during your life, you should never be without your Durable POAs.

  1. Durable Health Care Power of Attorney

This document allows a person to make all major and minor healthcare decisions for their loved one. The person who signs the Power of Attorney is giving the power to you or someone else to act as if you are the signer. So, if your mom signs a Durable POA, and gives the power to you, she has made you her agent.  You now have the power to act as if you are your mom in all health care situations. If you sign a POA and make your spouse your ‘Agent,’ your spouse now has the power to act as if he is you in all health care decisions concerning you.

This does not prevent Mom from continuing to make her own decisions about her health care. It does allow the agent, the POA, to make decisions, if necessary. Or, at the very least, as the POA you now have the authority to talk to everyone about your mom’s health care.

Does this replace that damned HIPAA form? Yes and yes. There is nothing wrong with you also having your loved one sign a HIPAA form that gives you authority to discuss medical issues, but the Durable Healthcare POA is the best and most powerful document you can have. And it lasts forever, until the person who signed it cancels it in writing. That’s why you need 2 or 3 originals. I always gave my clients 3 originals. In case one gets lost, is never returned, or becomes lining for the cat litter box somehow.

An original Durable POA means it has all original signatures and it is signed and witnessed by a Notary Public. So, if you have three original Durable POAs, you will have to sign in all important places 3 times and the Notary will sign each one separately as well.

  1. Durable Financial Power of Attorney

This document is different from a Health Care Power of Attorney. The person who signs this type of Durable Power of Attorney is giving the power to you or someone else to act as if you are that person in all financial situations. So if your mom gives you a Durable Financial POA, you now have the power to act as if you are your mom in all financial situations. This too, is a very powerful document. Since the agent is in the shoes of the person who assigned the power. The agent can buy, sell, transfer, pay, not pay and clean out every penny and asset there is. It sounds bad and ominous.  And there is no doubt that checks and balances are a good thing when you give a Durable Financial POA to someone. But never underestimate the NEED for this document.

  1. Between Spouses

Unless you have a real problem with your spouse, and I’m pretty sure that’s a Dr. Phil book, or if your spouse is already suffering from mental incapacity or incapable of making financial decisions, you and your spouse under normal circumstances should give each other Durable Healthcare and Durable Financial POAs.

This is a protection in case anything unplanned would happen to either of you. You would already have these documents in place to handle any emergency. I’m talking to you. The healthy baby boomer who is reading this, or the Gen-Xer who suddenly realizes their mom and dad are getting older. Hey! We are all getting older! If you are over 18 years old, you should consider Durable POAs for yourself. When my children went to college, I had them sign Durable POAs. As adults living hours away from home, I did not want any nonsense from a hospital or a college administration saying they wouldn’t talk to me about my child’s condition, be it a health or financial condition.

Fast forward to your own life now. You are 30-something or 40-something. You have kids, a nice house, a couple of cars. You have an accident. You are disabled. You’re in a coma. Your husband can’t sell the house, car, or shares in Microsoft, because they belong to you. The hospital wants to put a shunt in your brain to stop the bleeding but no one has the authority to say “yay” or “nay.” That’s why everyone needs Durable POAs at every stage of their adult life. Not when you’re 85 years old and you think, “hey, something might happen to me.”

DO IT NOW, DO IT NOW, DO IT NOW.

No one even needs to know you have these documents. You can go to your local wonderful attorney, get the paperwork done, put it in your fireproof box in the basement, and when someone needs to find your important papers….Voila!! There it is. Just make sure someone knows you have important papers and where they are located.

 

  1. A Word on Durable POAs

Besides being the most important document you may not have yet and need to get, POA’s can also be like a Chinese menu. Any lawyer worth her salt will take you through a process where you need to decide exactly how much power you want to bestow. In Pennsylvania, for example, where I reside, there are very strict rules about things like how much money can the POA give as a gift and to whom. So please, find a lawyer. Ask your friends, neighbors, someone you know who has dealt with issues like this. Research lawyers, but find one, and get your affairs in order. It’s that important, because if you need this and you don’t have it, this is what happens next…………….

  1. Whom Do I Choose to be my POA?

 

This question is complicated. Usually, if you are healthy and happy as a couple, you would choose each other as your primary POA. You should always have an alternate POA in case something happens to both of you simultaneously.

If your spouse is unable to be your POA, or you don’t have a spouse, you need to choose a person you can trust completely. This person will have power over your money and your health. You need to choose wisely.

Normally, it would be best to choose a daughter or son or other relative who lives close by. Making these decisions, especially with hospitals and doctors usually needs a person who is available to go to those places or meet with those healthcare professionals.

 

When deciding who to choose as your POA ask yourself some questions:

  1. Do I trust this person completely with my money and/or my health?
  2. Will they be available to make decisions at a moment’s notice?
  3. Are they capable of making these decisions?
  4. Does this person know how to find and ask for help for me?
  5. Do I want to put all the financial or health care power with one person, or do I want to give joint or several powers?

Caution: It can be challenging to have joint POAs because if they disagree, there is no one to ‘break the tie.’ You can have ‘either or’ POA’s. So that if you name your son and daughter as joint POA’s, your son and daughter can make decisions jointly or by themselves (severally). Note that they need to be able to work together for the several powers as they can make decisions without the other’s input. If you don’t see that happening, then choose one decider and an alternate.

 

Bio

cathysikorskiphotoamazon

Author of Showering With Nana: Confessions of a Serial Caregiver, Cathy Sikorski has been a significant caregiver for the last 25 years for seven different family members and friends. A published humorist, Sikorski is also a practicing attorney who limits her practice to Elder Law issues. Her combined legal and humor expertise has made her a sought-after speaker where she tackles the Comedy of Caregiving and the legal issues that affect those who will one day be or need a caregiver (which is everyone). Sikorski is a frequent guest on radio programs and podcasts where she talks about the importance of using humor in caregiving. With more than 30 years of law behind her, she provides critical legal information for our aging population. Her latest endeavor is her humorous memoir Showering with Nana: Confessions of a Serial (killer) Caregiver (HumorOutcasts Press 2015).  Sikorski has participated in memoir writing classes for two years at the prestigious Fine Arts Work Center in Provincetown, Massachusetts. She has also participated in the Philadelphia Writer’s Conference where she won a Humor Prize in 2014. Sikorski blogs for The Huffington Post and is a contributing author for HumorOutcasts.com and she can been seen on the West Chester Story Slam YouTube channel.  Known as a “Thought Leader,” her work can be found in the HappinessRecipe Anthology: The Best of Year One, published 2014.  Sikorski maintains an active blog “You just have to Laugh…where Caregiving is Comedy…” at www.cathysikorski.com  where she continues to post absurd yet true stories that continue today.Contact Cathy Sikorski at cathy.sikorski@gmail.com and follow her on Twitter at @cathy_sikorski.

 

**********************

Paul De Lancey
www.pauldelancey.com

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101 Meals For Unwanted guests

Posted on January 1, 2017 by pauldelancey

aspic2

 

Sure, you spend a lot of time creating scrumptious meals for special friends and loved ones. But you’ll feel all squooshy inside when they dig into your culinary creation, ask for thirds, scrape the plate clean, and give you a smile that warms and energizes your tired heart. Then they say, “This was absolutely delicious. I appreciate every hour you spent creating this for me. I can tell this was a labor of love, because I love this food more than any food I’ve ever eaten,” and life can’t get any better.

Then there are the blighters who invite themselves over for a month without even a consultation, who unaccountably are allowed to stay by the rest of the family, who expect dinner to always be ready at a time that’s early for you, and who feel no remorse about showing up with fast food, without calling to check with you, see that you’re about to serve a gourmet meal,  sit down at the table and eat their fast-food sandwiches without apology or comment.

What to do? You want revenge. Sure, but murder is illegal. Help me, you cry! Fret not, unappreciated host and chef, I am here to help.

Drive them out with unappealing food. Come over to the dark culinary side with these people-chasing recipes from my cookbook, 101 Meals for Unwanted Guests. These acid inducing recipes, inspired by the strange cuisine of 1050s America, will make the unwanted guests skedaddle out of your house lickety-split. You”ll have your house back and your kitchen back. And isn’t all that matters.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: food, humor | 2 Comments

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