French Entree
CHICKEN PROVENÇALE
INGREDIENTS
2 chicken breasts
2 teaspoons herbes de Provence
1/2 teaspoon mignonette pepper (Tellicherry black pepper, Muntok white pepper, coriander)
2 tablespoon olive oil
2 red bell peppers
1 green bell pepper
3 garlic cloves
1/2 cup white wine
SPECIALTY UTENSIL
kitchen mallet
Serves one wrestler in training for the Olympics, two people with regular appetites, and four guests who got into your private stash of Belgian truffles before even trying this lovingly prepared meal and are never getting invited again.
PREPARATION
Pound chicken breasts to a half-inch thickness. (Remembering the day’s swarm of rude drivers on your ride home helps immeasurably.) Cut chicken breasts into fourths. Coat chicken pieces with herbes de Provence and mignonette pepper. Cut bell peppers into strips about 1/2″ inch wide and 2″ long. Mince garlic cloves.
Put olive oil in frying pan. Add bell-pepper and garlic. Sauté on high heat for a minute or until olive oil boils. Stir frequently. Add white wine and chicken pieces.
Cover and reduce heat to low-medium for about 5 minutes or until chicken is cooked through. You can cut a piece in half. If the chicken is still pink inside, sauté everything a few minutes more. If both halves are all white, eat one half. It’s your kitchen.
TIDBITS
1) The Olympics first occurred in Ellis, Greece in 776 BC as a way to honor Zeus. Wrestling was perhaps the most popular event.
2) Contestants and trainers appeared nude partly to prevent women from surreptitiously participating.
3) The Olympics started to die out around 260 AD what with barbarians invading the Roman Empire and civil wars erupting every few weeks. In 391 Emperor Theodosius outlawed the games because they were pagan.
4) No summer Olympics, no chance for winter Olympics. No winter Olympics, no bobsledding. No bobsledding, no thriving winter tourist industry. No thriving winter tourist industry, no taxes for the government. No taxes, no money to fund an army for the Empire.
5) Indeed, quite soon after Theodosius’ decision, massive waves of barbarians assaulted the poorly defended Roman Empire, defeating it quite easily.
6) The death of the Roman Empire plunged Europe into the Dark Ages for about a thousand years. Way to go, Theodosius.
7) Today the Olympic Committee is considering dropping wrestling from the games claiming lack of interest.
8) Perhaps there would be more interest if we brought back nude wrestling.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
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