Posts Tagged With: volleyball

Loco Moco

Hawaiian Entree

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LOCO MOCO

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INGREDIENTS – RICE & PATTY­
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1⅔ cups rice
1 small onion (½ small onion more later)
1 pound ground beef (80%-to-85%)
¾ teaspoon garlic salt
¼ teaspoon pepper
¼ teaspoon salt
½ tablespoon Worcestershire sauce (1 teaspoon more later)
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INGREDIENTS – GRAVY
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1½ tablespoons butter (softened)
½ small onion
1¾ cups beef broth
1½ tablespoons cornstarch
1 teaspoon ketchup
4 teaspoons soy sauce
1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
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INGREDIENTS – FINAL
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4 eggs
1 green onion
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Serves 4. Takes 40 minutes.
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PREPARATION – RICE & PATTY
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Cook rice according to instructions on package. Mince 1 small onion. Add all patty ingredients to mixing bowl. Mix with hands until well blended. Form into 4 patties, each 3″ wide. Smooth the edges. Add patties to large pan. Fry at medium heat for 5 minutes. Flip patties and fry for 5 minutes more. (More or less time) Remove patties. Keep drippings in pan.
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PREPARATION – GRAVY
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Mince ½ small onion. While patties cook, add all gravy ingredients to small mixing bowl. Mix with whisk or fork until well blended. Add gravy to pan. Sauté for 4 minutes or until onion softens and gravy thickens. Stir occasionally.
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PREPARATION – FINAL
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While patties and gravy cooks, add eggs to 2nd frying pan. Fry eggs to your liking. Put 1 cup steamed rice on plate. Smooth the edges into a circle about 3″ across, Top rice with patty. Ladle ¼th of the gravy onto patty. Place fried egg on gravy. Repeat three times. Dice green onion. Garnish eggs with green onion.
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TIDBITS
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1) About 50 years ago, Om Corporation(tm), Om Co., dominated all other Hawaiian food distributers.
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2) Stop and ponder how cool is it to live in a universe where there is a word that has the sequence “aiia,” in it.
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3) We are truly fortunate that over billions–or maybe just ten millions of years, I really don’t for sure how may years as I wasn’t there–that Earth’s plates shifted in such a way that Hawaii formed. With-out Hawaii, there be no word Hawaii, and thus no word with out aiia in it. We certainly have no Hawaiian pizzas. Nor ever Hawaiian luaus. That would have been a great loss indeed.
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4) But how would we have known what we would be missing from the loss of Hawaiian luaus? Maybe things would have gotten something better in return.
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5) Like Greek luaus for example. Especially likely, if Greece could grow pineapples.
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6) Anyway, Om Co., or Omco as people who hate spaces used to call it, developed the very first Hawaiian pizza boomerang pizza.
“I want a Hawaiian pizza.”
“But I want a functioning boomerang.”
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7) “Wait, both your desires will be fulfilled with Omco’s new and exciting Hawaiian boomerang pizza. Take a bite. Mmm, wasn’t delicious. Now, fling the boomerang. It’ll come back. But in the meantime, you can continue your statewide volleyball tournament. You don’t want to miss that. After you’ve spiked the volleyball down the other team’s throats, wait a second and your boomerang pizza will come back to your hand. Take another tasty bite and fling the boomerang pizza away again. Pizza and high-stakes volleyball at the same time. Way cool. Way cool.”
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8) In fact the boomerang pizza was so cool, that Hawaiians took to calling, Om. Co, “Cool Omco.” Dyslexics, over time, changed this name to “Cool Moco.” The next generations of dyslexic Hawaains altered this to “Loco Moco.”
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9) The name stuck. And a bit later Om Corporation held a recipe contest to honor its golden anniversary.
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10) Carl La Fong won first prize with this entree. He called it “Loco Moco “in honor of Om Co.’s stellar culinary reputation. There you go, innovative chefs and companies and plucky dyslexics* making life a little better.
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11) * = I am slightly dyslexic. Maybe this explains things.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Hottest New Sport – Egg Volleyball

Egg volleyball burst upon the collegiate scene this August and is taking our universities by storm. Listen to what the egg-volleyball luminaries are saying.

“We’re all scrambling to find the find the best athletes,” said Eunice Oeuf, Women’s Athletic Director for the University of Wisconsin.

“High-school athletes know there’s a high demand for their talents,” said Coach Ben “Data Base” Yumurta of the Cal Tech Beavers. “The big schools eat up most of the hot prospects. We get all sorts of rejections. You really need a hard shell to make it in this coaching job.”

“We poached an egg-volleyballer who had committed to Stanford,” said college recruiter Joe Eieren of the UCLA Bruins. “Now, we’ll whip them.”

“We’re forming men’s and women’s volleyball teams,” said Executive Chef Sue Vide of the Culinary Institute of America,” Our students already know how their way around eggs and have the necessary supple wrists for egg volleyball. We expect to leave our opponents with egg on their faces.”

“Other teams will crack under pressure when they face us,” boasted Yoko Arrautzak of the Duke Blue Devilled Eggs. “They might even run.”

Yancy Atody, hard-boiled coach of the Tennessee Lady Volunteers, scoffed at this claim. “We’ll make omelettes out of them.”

“Ha,” retorted Coach Arrautzak, “They don’t have the eggs to beat us.”

Albert “Al” Bumen, spokesman for the American Poultry Council can’t stop smiling. “We’re so pleased that the universities are finally taking this support seriously. We’ve been tossing this idea to them for decades.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: sports, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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