Posts Tagged With: to do list

Paul’s Awesome English Dictionary – Today’s Phrase: Final Exit

We put a man on the moon. We look at itty-bittiest things in the universe, a muon or some such thing; it’s much smaller than an atom which we can’t see either. We can use our land line to beam a signal to a satellite in geo-synchronous orbit above our very house and bounce the signal back down again to find our cell phone which was in our other hand.

On the third hand, we keep forgetting to take necessary things when we try to leave for work, pick up our kids from soccer practice, or go to the store.

But we don’t have a word to describe this behavior.

It’s high time to correct this oversight.

TODAY’S AWESOME PHRASE

final exit

Awesome phrase #27

 

­– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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My Not-To-Do List

NotToDo1

This blog is directly inspired by the talented and hilarious Kathy Minicozzi who was in turn inspired by the renowned humorist David Sedaris.

Here are the things I resolve not to do today. Takes a deep breath. Lets it out. Okay Paul, you cannot do this.

1) I will not cook or eat lutefisk.

2) I will not foment revolution anywhere.

3) I will not lose a sock in the dryer.

4) Because I will not do clothes today.

5) I will not engage in the illicit fruitcake market.

6) I will not voluntarily upgrade any of my electronic devices.

7) I will not race to the be the first to reach the South Pole. I’ve already lost. It happened about a century ago. Why try?

8) I will not attack the weeds in my backyard with my weed whacker for another day. The tenuous truce still holds.

9) I will not sing at any karaoke bar. The whole world rejoices.

10) I will not befriend North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un on Facebook.

11) I will not say, “I love you,” to my printer.

– Paul R. De Lancey, great no-doer

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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