Posts Tagged With: tax documents

I Again Simplify Federal Taxes

I spend bits of time all year long assembling documents for my taxes. I spent more time this month. I labored all freakin’ day collating information that gladdens the  IRS’ heart.

What really gets my goat is that frigging complicated tax form. With all the schedules that go along with the main page, a taxpayer could easily fill out over 30 pages. You’ll need to hire a tax preparer. That’ll run you hundreds of dollars. And that’s after spending three days assembling all the information. What makes it even more horrible is that the IRS scans all the returns looking for mistakes.

Looking for mistakes. Let that sink in. That means they already have the numbers you need to type in on the forms. And they will tell you when they think–no, when they now–you are wrong. What can be done to fix all this madness and frustration?

I’m glad you asked. Let the IRS do your taxes for you, They know what they want on your forms, schedules, and attachments anyway. I hereby propose a new and quite simple form to replace all the tree-devouring pages you used to submit.

Much of this rant comes from a blog written three years ago. But, as you can see the IRS has neglected to enact my clever, nifty idea. So, it is with a sense of eternal optimist that I suggest brilliantly simple tax form.

It’s called the 1040-P. (P stands for Paul, me. I created this glorious, time saving, liberating page. I deserve some recognition.)

Anyway, I give you the 1040-P

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

 

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A Group of Crows is a Murder, But What is . . . ?

A group of crows is a murder, but what about gangs of other things, what are they called?

I’m glad you asked.

A group of . . …………. is a


An overripening of avocados

advertisements……….snack break
apples…………………….browning
astronomers……………Pluto hater
avocados…………………overripening
bacon……………………..heaven
live bands………………..hearing loss
bank robberies…………getaway
banks………………………fee
burgers……………………handful
clouds……………………..imagination
court cases……………….delay
customer service………hold
dishes……………………..mountain
DMV lines……………….horizon
doughnuts……………….fattening
gin………………………….tipsy
kittens…………………….squee
lutefisk……………………stench
mistakes………………….inevitability
mosquitoes………………bite
potatoes…………………..Idaho
puppies……………………squee
printers……………………Devil
road repairs……………..eternity
shrimp…………………….cocktail
spam……………………….annoyance
storm clouds…………….gray
stoves………………………heat
tacos……………………….bliss or Tuesday
taranatulas………………scare
tax documents…………felled forest

Now you know.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

­My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: lifestyle, observations | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

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