March 18: This entree honors a Romanian Minister of Parlement Bribing Voters with 60 tons of fried chicken
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You love  fried chicken. Who else does?  Your voters do.  But the electorate doesn’t like you. Not much at all. How can you win the voters over to your side? Sure, you could promise them all sorts of things. But you’re a politician. The people don’t believe politicians’ promises. And they especially don’t believe you.

That leaves bribery as your only course of action. What sort of bribery? You can’t give all those people diamonds, too expensive. Cash would work. However, it’s too expensive. Bribing them with $10 of cold, hard cash will leave them cold. How about greasing their palms with $100 in paper currency. Yes, that would work. That would make the voters adore you. That would make them stampede the polling sites at six a.m. to check your box on the ballot. But tossing large bills at the masses simply is beyond your budget.

What to do? Bribe the voters with fried chicken. As mentioned above your constituents crave fried chicken. And a meal of chicken is so freaking affordable for the would-be vote buyer. Treat each and every voter to a bucket or meal of fried chicken and you’ll be elected in a landslide.

Our politician in Romania, Mr. Popescu, took this advice to heart. Florin “Chicken Baron” Popescu bribed voters with 60 tons–60 tons!–of fried chicken. It worked. The people voted him in as the leader of their county council. He used this position and name recogniton to secure election as a member of parliament in 2012. Alas, karma is relentless and law enforcement arrested him for bribery. Life can be hard.

The meal you should serve to commerate this day:  Pan Fried Chicken Breasts

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Celebrate the drive and determination of politico Popescu with this tasty American favorite. You might even find yourself fantasizing yourself winning a seat in the U.S. Senate. Just don’t get caught. Meanwhile, enjoy.

Pan Fried Chicken Breasts

INGREDIENTS

4 chicken breasts, boneless & skinless
½ teaspoon pepper
¾ teaspoon salt
½ cup flour
1 teaspoon garlic powder
¾ teaspoon onion powder
1¼ teaspoon paprika
1 teaspoon parsley (1 teaspoon more later)
3 tablespoons vegetable oil (ip to 2 tablespoons more, if necessary)
up to 2 tablespoons, if necessary
1 lemon
1 teaspoon parsley

SPECIAL UTENSIL

kitchen mallet

Serves 4. Takes 45 minutes.

PREPARATION

Remove chicken breasts from refrigerator and pat dry with paper towels. Cover with plastic wrap. Pound chicken breasts lightly with kitchen mallet until they are ½” thick or thinner. Rub chicken with pepper and salt.

Add flour, garlic powder, onion powder, paprika, and parsley to small mixing bowl. Mix with fork until well blended. Dredge chicken breast through mixture in bowl. Shake off any excess. (Excess flour falls off in the oil, adding a burnt taste and look..) Repeat for remaining chicken.

Add 3 tablespoons vegetable oil to large pan. Heat oil using medium-high heat until a little bit of flour in the oil starts to dance. Add 2 chicken breasts to pan. Cover and fry chicken breasts for 3 minutes or until bottom of chicken breasts turn golden brown. DO NOT move them. (Only lift a corner of a chicken breast to see if the bottom is golden brown. Use spatula to flip chicken breasts. Cover and fry for another 2½ minutes or when new bottom turns golden brown as well. Remove breasts to plate and cover to keep warm. Add up to 2 more tablespoons oil, if necessary. Repeat for 2nd batch of chicken breasts.

Slice lemon into 4 pieces. Serve each chicken breasts with a lemon slice Garnish each chicken breast with ¼ teaspoon parsley..

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.