Posts Tagged With: Newfoundland

Newfoundland Pork Buns

Canadian Appetizer

NEWFOUNDLAND PORK BUNS

INGREDIENTS

½ pound salt pork
¼ cup shortening or butter
3 cups flour (2 tablespoons more later)
2 tablespoons baking powder
¼ cup sugar
1 cup water

SPECIAL UTENSIL

cookie sheet

Makes 7 buns. Takes 1 hour.

PREPARATION

Dice salt pork. Add salt pork and shortening to pan. Sauté at medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until salt pork browns. Add 3 cups flour, baking powder, and sugar to large mixing bowl. Mix with whisk until well blended. Use first to make well in flour. Add salt pork and fat from pan to well in flour. Add water. Mix with fork until well blended.

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Dust flat surface with 2 tablespoons flour. Roll out flour until it is ½” thick. Cut out 4″-wide circles or any other shape or size you desire. Arrange dough circles on cookie sheet. Allow at least 1″ between dough circles. Bake at 375 degrees for 20 minutes or until golden brown and toothpick stuck in the center of a bun comes out clean.

TIDBITS

1) Ancient Japanese samurai got into so many sword fights that they had to have swords in both hands at all times. If you were a pork-bun-holding samurai, you’d die if a ninja armed with knives, axes, swords, and death stars jumped out of the shadows to attack you. Sure, you might in the first blow, but the best you could hope is crumbs all over the murderous assailant’s face. Then you’d die.

2) Which would be a bummer. So, samurai learned to cook pork buns. They’d poke a hole in the pork bun just wide enough to fit around the warrior’s pony tail. The fierce samurai would then tie the pony into a knot. The knot kept the pork bun from falling off. This freed the samurai’s hands to hold swords. Sword wielding samurai no longer got assassinated by ninjas. The now long-living samurai of 1178 were free to pick flowers and inhale their fragrance.

3) Which didn’t happen, of course. The fierce samurai sought out danger. Since there was none at home, they traveled to Newfound in search of it. They took their pork bun recipe with them, which is why Newfoundland has the recipe. Indeed, culinary archaeologists expect to find  evidence of  samurai habitation in Newfoundland just as they did with the Vikings at L’anse aux Meadows.

Chef Paulcookbookhunks

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with 180 wonderful recipes is available on amazon.com. My newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, is also available on amazon.com

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Cannibal Rat Cruises Announces New One-Way Voyages

RatShip

Do you have an annoying neighbor who blasts Justin Bieber until five in the morning? Do you have a tyrannical boss? And how do you simultaneously reward your nagging spouse and collect on that rather large insurance policy you thoughtfully took out yesterday?

Well, Cannibal Rats Cruises has the perfect thing for you. We are proud to have taken possession of the Lyubov Orlova. The previous owner’s bankruptcy is in our gain. Left abandoned in Newfoundland for two years, it rapidly became one of a kind, a floating zoo, except for the lack of lions, tigers, bears, and many other creatures. Okay, this floating zoo consists entirely of rats. But how many cruise ships can claim a rat zoo?

Originally sold to the Dominican Republic, a nation proud of its rat-free cuisine, the Lyubov Orlova never made it there. The vessel broke loose from the tow ship the very first day at sea. This fact was never noticed.

“Hey, Pedro, have you seen that cruise ship we’re towing?”

“No, Pablo, but I haven’t been looking for it”

The Canadian authorities recaptured the wandering ship a little later. But the tow line snapped again. “In retrospect, using a Slinky to connect our tug to the Lyubov Orlova seems insufficient says an imagined Captain Amos Keeto of the Canadian Icy Ocean Patrol.

The cruise was then left to drift unmanned in the Arctic waters. Says Captain Keeto, “It’s no big deal.”

No big deal until now! Salvagers from Cannibal Rats Cruises, CRC, boarded the ship armed with cannister after cannister of rat poison. Within a scant two days the surviving boarders managed to get the rat population down to a comfortable level.

And that’s where you come in. Hee! Hee! No not you, your neighbor from hell, your cheating spouse, your local lutefisk vendor will be ushered into there spacious staterooms. Meal times are flexible. The rats’ moods set the time. Yes, CRC, is the perfect way for your fiends to lose all those extra pounds.

And best of all, the cost of sending your unloved one on this one-way adventure? Only $77 for an interior room to just $277 for a mini-suite! Expire in a garden villa for a mere $477. How does CRC keep it rates so low?

No overhead. No crew!

Treat those special people to a voyage with Cannibal Rats Cruises. They’ll remember it to the end of their days.
3novelsPlease check out Paul De Lancey’s books on Amazon.com.
or visit his website www.lordsoffun.com for signed copies.

 

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Poutine

Canadian Entree

POUTINE

INGREDIENTSPoutine-

5 Yukon gold potatoes (or medium potatoes)
1 1/2 cups grated mozzarella cheese
1 1/2 cups beef gravy
5 cups vegetable oil

SPECIAL ITEMS

long-sleeve shirt (this dish can splatter hot oil)
deep fryer

Makes 4 bowls. Takes 1 hour.

PREPARATION

Cut potatoes into strips 1/4″ to 1/2″ wide. Soak potato strips in cold water for 30 minutes. Drain. Pat strips dry. Put oil in deep fryer. Heat oil to 375 degrees. Put potato strips in fryer. Fry strips at 375 degrees for 10-to-15 minutes or until they become crisp and turn golden brown. You will need to cook in batches. Remove fries. Put fries on paper towels to remove grease.

While the last batch of potato strips is frying, warm gravy in small pot. Put fries on large plate. Place cheese curds on top of fries and ladle gravy over everything.

TIDBITS

1) Cajun roux also splatters . It’s made of flour and oil and is dark brown. It is heat at 500 degrees making splatter from it quite painful. Chef Paul Prudhomme calls it, “Cajun napalm.”

2) They’re tasty, I know, but the most dangerous foods to eat while driving, according to the insurance industry are:

Coffee – A hot, spillable liquid. Owie! Major distraction.
Hot soup – Hot soup while driving? Are you crazy?
Tacos. – Great but messy. Go for the easier to hold burrito.
Chili – Messy and hot. Again, go for the burrito.
Hamburgers – The grease from the burger makes your hand slip on the driving wheel. Burgers cooked under heat lamps have a lot less grease. A lot less taste, too. It’s a life versus taste trade off.
Barbecued food – The sauce will go everywhere. So will your car if you eat barbecued while driving.
Fried chicken – Greaser to eat than burgers.
Jelly or cream-filled doughnuts. They squirt on the steering, the gas pedal, and the brake.
Soft drinks – Carbonation up the nose is so distracting
Chocolate – Melts on your hands, not in even your mouth. Your hands slip on the steering wheel.
cover

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World, is available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

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