Posts Tagged With: murders

So Tired

I slept even worse than usual. I drove to doctor’s appointment. There was a hospital emergency, so I had to wait quite a bit. It wasn’t the worst of news, but it could have been better. I drove to another crafts place. There seems to be about four different latch-hooks patterns in the whole county. So I purchased one that’s okay. I drove and made Tacos Adobada for the natives.

Monday, I think, Number Two Son and I will drive to his new job in Chicago.

I was tired that I accidently ordered an invasion, but I was so exhausted that I never started the darn thing.

Take care. You’re important to me.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

 

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Ups and Downs

I’m rhe Emperor

The day started off well. I played free-bingo at a senior’s center. I got my first bingo and won a big, glass beer mug. The lunch afterward was good, surprisingly good for institutional food. Then things went downhill. I’m tired and my back hurts. So this is all the news I’m giving today.

Oh, I almost forgot. I repaid the Martian invasion with one of my own. I’m now Emperor of Mars. Cool.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

 

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Busy Day

I fought off their invasion

Made a small error in my spreadsheets. It led to Martian invasion in my back yard. Sorry about that, Chief. However, it all came came out okay in the end as I ran around making scary faces at them until they all teleported back to Mars.

Then my wife and I went to the border to a Global entry building to move one step closer to getting our Global Entry passes. Driving took 2 hours.

I then spent hours correcting the ripple effects of the morning’s small error. I had to do this or the Martians might have been  tempted to invade Earth. I’m guessing a similar sort of error led to the Martian invasion of Grovers Mill in 1938. The exact reason is still classified.

Well, time to lie down and take some weight off my aching back.

Good night, one and all.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

 

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Deep Thought Man on Missing Things

Deep Thought Man has been away for a while. He ponders the secrets of the universe so intently that he often takes the wrong fork in the road and has to backtrack quite a bit.

Deep Thought Man #16

 

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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What I Didn’t Do Today

My blog double

I took a shower and washed my hair. Things went down from there.

I labored over a spreadsheet for a few hours. An innocent typo let the metaphorical spreadsheet-hating camel poke its nose into the tent. Soon the entire camel was rolling into the spreadheet. And a spreadsheet-covered camel is of no good whatsoever. Have you heard of camel-spreadsheet wrestling? No, I didn’t think so.

So, I had to restore a previous version and redo all my work. Two hours, my battered and bruised brain and fingers had produced a spreadsheet fit to show to an admiring world. But the effort had me questioning the meaning of life. I took solace in philosophy and in a coffee drink.

I drove to Joann’s fabric store. After conversing some time with the help I finally found the latch-hook section. It was tiny. The latch-hook mat patterns were overdone, guffy, and icky. I gave the two 40% off a single purchase coupons I had printed to two wandering customers.

I drove to Michael’s. After an exhausting search, I found no latch-hook section. I looked for a while for an employee. I found none. They were as rare as two perfect games in the same game. I went to checkout. Surely, I would find help there. No one was there. After a few minutes, a customer came to buy her things. She said that the cashier had gone t0 help someone elsewhere. I waited some more. The store’s one employee didn’t come back while I was there.

I went to the grocery store. Got some things. I went home and took a nap.

I am currently trying t0 make brown bread in loaf pans. It doesn’t look like it will turn out well.

Good grief. It’s just as well I don’t actually own a sonic obliterator.

I do hope you’re behaving out there.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

 

Categories: about me, what I did | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Yoga Instructor on Traffic Lights

Preach, yoga instructor, preach.

Yoga instructor #18

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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You Know You Want to Party With Me

Salt pork, hard to find in the wild

I spent much of the morning shopping at three grocery stores. First one, Grocery Outlet was missing all sorts of basic foods. The next one, Stater Brothers did not have salt pork. They were, however, selling a dozen eggs for $9 – $10. It’s the age-old story, an item cannot be produced in one place then every store or supplier across the universe holds back supplies and jacks up prices for months to come.

I then went to Sprouts, They were selling eggs for $4.70, so I bought them there. In your face, Stater Bros. However, they didn’t have salt pork either.

I need salt pork to make homemade Boston Baked Beans for a party. I’ve looked online for an hour or two. Only two possible stores in the country. I couldn’t find a good source online.

Thanks, Obama.

Then, I spent hours fixing problems in finances.

That’s it.

You know you want to party with me.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

Categories: about me, my life | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

On This Day

 

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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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Your Call is Very Important to Us

Well no, not really. The whole customer-service process is designed to drive us crazy enough to hang up. I say when you lose your cool, lose it completely like in the picture below. Not only will you get through; you’ll also feel proud about yourself. Go get ’em, Tiger!

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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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First There Was Elf on the Shelf

Now there’s:

Fart on the BART

Hee, hee, I’m so mature.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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