Posts Tagged With: Comic Chef

Food Stain Apparel – The Bold New Look in Clothing

How many times has this happened to you? Your prospective bosses scheduled your final job interivew at the gourmet Italian Restaurant, Il Machiavelli, when, oh no, pasta sauce escapes from your fork only to land on your previously whiter than bleached snowy-white shirt. Your hosts look at you aghast. All of a sudden they sport poker faces. You’ve lost that awesome job. Word will get around the hiring world. Far from heading a division at a major corporation, you’ll find yourself doing part-time work at a fast-food restaurant.

But it did not have to be that way. If only there were an business-apparel chain that sold clothing that hides stains.

And now there is. Food Stain Apparel(tm) sells shirts, pants, jackets, bras, you name it, that completely hide all food stains.

Wear an invincible shirt. Wear Food Stain Apparel.

Today’s featured shirt is called Mustard Arriba and is attractively shown below. Sport this shirt wherever you dine. You’ll never fear mustard stains again. Arriba!

You can’t spot the mustard stain. Arriba!

 

 

 

 

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

Categories: Food Stain Apparel | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Paul’s Awesome English Dictionary – Today’s Word – Noootice

How many times has this happened to you? You spent hours alphabetizing the spices and herbs. And you poured this ingredients into smaller, smarter looking containers. Perhaps you balanced the checkbook. Maybe you weeded that bit of land to the side of the house, where no one can see it. Will people appreciate it?

No. No one noticed and no one will notice.

We need a  word for this feeling of having your achievement being totally overlooked.

And the portmanteau from the words: NO One will nOtice yields

TODAY’S AWESOME PHRASE

Noootice

 

Awesome entry #55

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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

Categories: Paul's Awesome Dictionay | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Where Do You Keep Your Potatoes?

I preserve my potatoes by wrapping them in a paper towel and putting them in a Twinkies(tm) box which sits on top of the refrigerator.

Where do you keep your potatoes?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: about me | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Vera the Virus Has an Attitude of Gratitude

Vera wants to thank the world’s fumbled-fingered people

Vera the Virus #8, 01/03/2025

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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Vera the Virus | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Every Year Has a January 2 in It

Things change all the time. Relationships change. Politics change Food prices change. Computers change. Change change; the back of our quarters vary with each passing year. Synonyms mutate.  And even years change! Leap years have a February 29 in them. Other years don’t. Or so we thought! Isn’t nearly every 100th year bereft of a February 29?

Is life just a whirlwind? Is nothing constant? Surely, there must be some unyielding constant in our lives, something that makes us shout, “Yes, yes, we can tether our emotions and sanity to this touchstone.”

Fortunately, there is such a rock.

Every year possesses a January 2. Every. Single. Year.

You can check your old calendars. I show a past January calendar as proof.

You can now hold on to your sanity.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: danger, explanations, lifestyle, Secrets of the Universe | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

You Know You Want to Party With Me

Salt pork, hard to find in the wild

I spent much of the morning shopping at three grocery stores. First one, Grocery Outlet was missing all sorts of basic foods. The next one, Stater Brothers did not have salt pork. They were, however, selling a dozen eggs for $9 – $10. It’s the age-old story, an item cannot be produced in one place then every store or supplier across the universe holds back supplies and jacks up prices for months to come.

I then went to Sprouts, They were selling eggs for $4.70, so I bought them there. In your face, Stater Bros. However, they didn’t have salt pork either.

I need salt pork to make homemade Boston Baked Beans for a party. I’ve looked online for an hour or two. Only two possible stores in the country. I couldn’t find a good source online.

Thanks, Obama.

Then, I spent hours fixing problems in finances.

That’s it.

You know you want to party with me.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

Categories: about me, my life | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

On This Day

 

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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

Categories: This day in history | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Merry Everything

May you have the best holidays ever. May 2025 be the most wonderful year ever. May you coexist with all relatives and colleagues. May your favorite food go down in price. May it only rain and snow when you’re indoors. May nobody block the aisles with their shopping carts. May traffic be astoundingly light whenever you need to drive.  May lutefisk be outlawed. May every day be Taco Day.May you feel my  love for you.

Here’s a Christmas card of my brother and I from 30 years ago. 🙂 As you can see, I improvised an improvement.

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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: about me, happy | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Your Call is Very Important to Us

Well no, not really. The whole customer-service process is designed to drive us crazy enough to hang up. I say when you lose your cool, lose it completely like in the picture below. Not only will you get through; you’ll also feel proud about yourself. Go get ’em, Tiger!

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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

First There Was Elf on the Shelf

Now there’s:

Fart on the BART

Hee, hee, I’m so mature.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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