Posts Tagged With: celery seeds

Chow Chow

American Appetizer

CHOW CHOW

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INGREDIENTS
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⅓ green cabbage or 2½ cups shredded
⅔ green bell pepper**
⅓ red bell pepper**
1 green tomato*
⅓ sweet onion
2 teaspoons coarse salt
¼ teaspoon celery seeds
¾ teaspoon mustard seeds
¼ teaspoon allspice
¼ teaspoon mustard powder
¼ teaspoon red pepper flakes
¾ cup sugar
¼ teaspoon turmeric
¾ cup white distilled vinegar
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* = Substitute with green-colored heirloom tomato, tomatillo, or just-picked tomato
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SPECIAL UTENSILS
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2 4-cup Mason jars.
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Makes 1¾ cups. Takes. 8 hours 40 minutes
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PREPARATION
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Shred, or coarsely chop, green cabbage. Seed and dice green bell pepper and red bell pepper. Dice green tomato and sweet onion. Add cabbage, green bell pepper, red bell pepper, green tomato, onion, and salt  to Mason jar. Cover and let sit in refrigerator for at least 8 hours. Drain liquid.
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Add celery seeds and mustard seeds to pan. Toast for 1 minute at medium-high heat or until seeds become fragrant. Stir frequently. Add allspice, mustard powder, red pepper flakes, sugar, turmeric, and vinegar to pan. Stir occasionally. Add cabbage/veggie mixture. Bring to boil. Stir frequently. Reduce heat to low-medium. Simmer for 15 minutes. Stir occasionally. Ladle contents into Mason jar. Leave ¼” gap at the top of the jar. It should keep for up to 6 weeks in refrigerator.
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TIDBITS
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1) Chow Chow is tasty dish. Chow Chow is also a type of dog. Do not confuse them. You might be wanting a dog for companionship only to find out that the dog you brought home was really relish. You could say hi to it, but it won’t respond. If, however, you made relish chow for chow chows and named it after  your chow-chow dog,”Chow Chow, you could sell Chow Chow Chow Chow’s Chow Chow Chow. This opportunity awaits you. Go for it.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

Categories: cuisine, humor | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Coleslaw

American Entree

COLESLAW

INGREDIENTSColeslaw-

1 head green cabbage
2 medium carrots
1/2 sweet onion (Vidalia or Walla Walla)
1 cup mayonnaise
1/2 tablespoon apple cider vinegar
1/2 tablespoon red wine vinegar
1/2 teaspoon celery seeds
1/2 teaspoon dill weed
1/4 teaspoon lemon pepper
1/2 teaspoon parsley
1/4 teaspoon salt

SPECIAL UTENSIL

food processor

PREPARATION

Use food processor to grate half of the cabbage head. Thinly slice the other half. Grate carrots and onion. Add all ingredients to mixing bowl and mix thoroughly. Serve first to the person who offers to clean up.

TIDBITS

1) Please relax a bit and enjoy the best song I know about coleslaw, “Coleslaw,” by Jesse Stone.

American Entree

COLESLAW

INGREDIENTS

1 head green cabbage
2 medium carrots
1/2 sweet onion (Vidalia or Walla Walla)
1 cup mayonnaise
1/2 tablespoon apple cider vinegar
1/2 tablespoon red wine vinegar
1/2 teaspoon celery seeds
1/2 teaspoon dill weed
1/4 teaspoon lemon pepper
1/2 teaspoon parsley
1/4 teaspoon salt

SPECIAL UTENSIL

food processor

PREPARATION

Use food processor to grate half of the cabbage head. Thinly slice the other half. Grate carrots and onion. Add all ingredients to mixing bowl and mix thoroughly. Serve first to the person who offers to clean up.

TIDBITS

1) Please relax a bit and enjoy the best song I know about coleslaw, “Coleslaw,” by Jesse Stone.

2) There are no fun facts about coleslaw. It’s best to talk about something other than coleslaw at parties if you wish to get invited again.

3) But people will think urbane and witty if you expound eloquently on the brilliant songwriter, Cole Porter. Cole Porter wrote the song, “Anything Goes.” It manages to be absolutely wonderful without even mentioning coleslaw once.

4) There is no coleslaw museum anywhere, so Cole Porter isn’t the only one to ignore this noble dish.

5) But if there were a coleslaw museum, I’m sure Jess Stone would have a place of honor.

6) Coleslaw does get mentioned in the classic song, “Ghost Chickens in the Sky” by Leroy Troy. The cause of culinary music marches on.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, humor | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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