I got to the stop sign first.
Please do not kill me.
DRIVING HAIKU #2
You have a big car.
I’ve a sonic obliterator.
You will yield to me.
– Paul R. De Lancey, Bad Artist
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
GRAMMAR HAIKU #1
It is a truism.
Good grammar and chocolates
Will impress your date.
GRAMMAR HAIKU #2
Remember tonight,
Lust is fleeting but grammar
Endures forever.
– Paul R. De Lancey, Bad Artist
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
LAUNDRY HAIKU #1
Laundry, oh laundry
I hate you. I will hate you.
’till the end of time.
LAUNDRY HAIKU #2
You, pile of laundry,
I so wanted to eat out.
But then I saw you.
– Paul R. De Lancey, Bad Artist
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
THANKSGIVING HAIKU #1
Defrost, damn turkey!
The guests will be arriving
In only one hour.
THANKSGIVING HAIKU #2
Feck! No potatoes!
Dear, will you go to the store?
What again? You dope.
THANKSGIVING HAIKU #3
Crudness, I forgot
To make the mashed potatoes
Will the guests notice?
– Paul R. De Lancey, Bad Artist
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
CARBON HAIKU #1
Carbon, oh carbon!
Though you’re the eight element
I like you the best.
CARBON HAIKU #2
Carbon, oh carbon!
You’re in every pencil,
and all grammar schools.
– Paul R. De Lancey, Bad Artist
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
CHURCH POLE VAULTING HAIKU #1
I fly through the air
With such magnificent ease
Because you will not move.
CHURCH POLE VAULTING HAIKU #2
You are quite unable
To move toward the middle.
So I must pole vault.
– Paul R. De Lancey, Bad Artist
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
SUPERMARKET HAIKU #1
Blocking the aisle.
Have you taken up residence?
Please make up your mind.
SUPERMARKET HAIKU #2
Blocking the aisle.
Hey, are you memorizing
The ingredients?
– Paul R. De Lancey, Bad Artist
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
INSURANCE HAIKU #1
I call insurance.
I see continents drifting
While I wait, wait, wait
INSURANCE HAIKU #2
The check’s in the mail.
Your call is very important.
We’ll be right with you.
– Paul R. De Lancey, Bad Artist
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
GOLF HAIKU
“@#$@ ^&%# $#@ @#$&*(+
“#V%^! $%#_+( @@@#$$%% !$&^*)
“j#X!.? @#@ <>,. $#%!!”
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
FIRST WRITING HAIKU
My novel’s stalled.
How shall I save the hero?
So I write haiku.
SECOND WRITING HAIKU
I can’t write the scene.
Words fail me. I keep hearing,
Iggy piggy poo.
– Paul R. De Lancey, Bad Artist
Check out my latest novel, the Christmas thriller, Beneficial Murders. My books are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com, As an e-book on Nook
or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com
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