Posts Tagged With: apocalyptic

You Know You Want to Party With Me

Salt pork, hard to find in the wild

I spent much of the morning shopping at three grocery stores. First one, Grocery Outlet was missing all sorts of basic foods. The next one, Stater Brothers did not have salt pork. They were, however, selling a dozen eggs for $9 – $10. It’s the age-old story, an item cannot be produced in one place then every store or supplier across the universe holds back supplies and jacks up prices for months to come.

I then went to Sprouts, They were selling eggs for $4.70, so I bought them there. In your face, Stater Bros. However, they didn’t have salt pork either.

I need salt pork to make homemade Boston Baked Beans for a party. I’ve looked online for an hour or two. Only two possible stores in the country. I couldn’t find a good source online.

Thanks, Obama.

Then, I spent hours fixing problems in finances.

That’s it.

You know you want to party with me.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

Categories: about me, my life | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

On This Day

 

­

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

Categories: This day in history | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Your Call is Very Important to Us

Well no, not really. The whole customer-service process is designed to drive us crazy enough to hang up. I say when you lose your cool, lose it completely like in the picture below. Not only will you get through; you’ll also feel proud about yourself. Go get ’em, Tiger!

­

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

First There Was Elf on the Shelf

Now there’s:

Fart on the BART

Hee, hee, I’m so mature.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

What I Did Today

I woke up around 3 am. Something was wrong. I had to pee. So I did.

But something still felt amiss. Aha, mind sensed a sentient, vegan exoplanet hurtling towards us, bent on eating Earth. I used my renowned telepathic powers to contact the space spheroid. I said that it couldn’t eat our planet as Earth teemed with people and animals. Doing so would be incompatible with its vegan principles. The exoplanet agreed and changed course, missing us altogether. Still it was a near-run thing and we’d all be planet food if I had not had that large class of milk before retiring.

Later I woke picked up a friend. I went to a doctor to get a heart monitor, then we went to a dentist where she spent two hours in a dentist’s chair.

And here we are.

 

­- Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: what I did | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Biggest Lies of Our Times – 2nd Update

I spent one hour trying to get through to one’s company’s customer service. I failed. Final score, Customer Service = 1, Me = 0. This is, by no means, an isolated event. So, I am updating the list of modern times’ biggest lies.

 

­

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: biggest lies, face of evil, lies, on the phone | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Busy Days

This will be a short post as I was busier than a spreadsheeter who had six hours of data entry disappear with the presentation due in five hours. I did save the Earth yesterday, so that’s something.

P.S. Does anyone know where to find wild-boar meat? Thanks.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

Categories: about me | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Goofy Man on Being Weird

Serious projects need a serious mindset. Having fun, however, requires being weird.

­

Goofy Man #5

 

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: goofy man | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Wanda Wunder Wonders About Farting Bees

I don’t how my mind came to ponder this.

Wanda Wunder #44

 

 

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Wanda Wunder | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Minnie Mouse Latch Hook Project – Part 5

Hey! I finished the latch-hooking part of the titanic Minnie Mouse Latch Hook Project. I’d like to thank the many, many bits of material who willingly let themselves be turned into bits of yarn. This project simply wouldn’t been possible without them. A shout out goes to gravity. I shudder think if it had not worked the entire life of the project. Just one day without gravity would have been chaotic. Imagine hundreds of bits of yarn floating about the room. Imagine me floating about the room. Picture people meandering around the atmosophere. Brr!

Anyway, gravity held the entire time. I finished Minnie Mouse. And I’m very thankful.

Anyway, here’s what Minnie Mouse looks like.

Minnie Mouse #5

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: latch hook | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.