– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
4) Tap the Amazing Healing Power of Ketchup.
(Who needs a pill?)
3) Woman Steals Three-Headed Baby.
(Two-headed baby abductions are so common they’re no longer news.)
2) Archaeologists Discover Skeleton of Satan. Find of the Century.
(Discovering that the Prince of Darkness existed and the Goodness reigns unopposed is only the find of the century. Geez, the millennium at least)
1) Learn Ten New Ways to Talk to the Dead.
(I never knew the ten old ways. I’m so embarrassed.)
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
October 28, 1994
Ms. Meg Bullock, Editor
Illinois Bankers Association
Chicago, IL
Dear Ms. Bullock,
For too long the world of fiction has ignored the rich vein of humor to be found in bankers and their mutual funds.
My fictional play, “Let’s Visit Mr. Banker,” illustrates the single-minded advice of a banker who sells mutual funds. For example, if customers ask him about interest rates rising, he advises why they should sell. Similarly, if people question him about interest rates falling, he explains why they should again sell.
I earned a Ph.D. in International Finance from the University of Wisconsin. I base this fiction on my experience with financial experts, especially with those on television.
Please note that there is no need to return the manuscript. I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
Paul R. De Lancey
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Kar: Red ?
Daphne Anne Humphrey: Dearest Paul, I am positive that with the leftover Twizzlers you can come up with an amazing recipe for an entree. (Personally, I’d opt for something using boneless chicken breasts and mandarin oranges.) Has anyone ever done a Twizzler reduction sauce? I think not. But you can. Either that or whip them into a soufflé.
Paul De Lancey: But, but, but I left them on the other side of the country! *head desk*
Daphne Anne Humphrey: I am positive they have stores that sell Twizzlers in your area of the country.
Steve: Buy some of that red spaghetti-like licorice and make a pasta dish for dessert.
Daphne Anne Humphrey: I am thinking a mini lemon tart with a twizzler foam and a mint sprig garnish. (Honestly if the top tier chefs can use Twinkies, Oreos or Reese’s Peanut butter cups to create 30 dollar a plate deserts you can certainly create a “je ne c’est quois” desert with Twizzlers.)
Robert Personally, I prefer Red Vines.
Daphne Anne Humphrey: I am thinking that perhaps Red Vines would hang someone nicely. Do you think I could get away with it if I ate the evidence?
Robert: Only i f they hav small necks….
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
I’m learning how to use HootSuite. This is only a test. There is no need to duck and cover.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Recently, I was in the men’s room at an airport. A man walked into a stall and closed the door. He immediately got on his cell phone. I didn’t listen in on the conversation and was in a foul mood anyway, having just gone through a long line at airport security. Then the man in the stall said, “I love you, sweetheart.”
Wow! True love. True love. Most men would have waited to call their sweethearts until they had pooped and wiped, but not for this Romeo. His love for his amour was so great he just had to tell her that very moment. He had shunned the hustle and bustle of every day and would no doubt leave the stall a fulfilled man.
Sometimes you just have to stop and smell the roses.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Dear Mr. President,
I am officially inviting you and whomever you wish to come with you to have a gourmet five-course meal at my humble abode in Poway, California. My wonderful wife, kids, and many friends eagerly await your appearance. As you know, Mr. President, Poway is the hot point of all political campaigns. The saying runs, “As goes Poway, so does the Presidency. ”
You will have have a great time in Poway with its many streets, walking trails, two live theaters, the proposed Candyland Museum, cinemaplex, a library. So, please come. It will help your chances of winning the election. Lord knows you need help with that. And heck you’ll have fun chowing down on home-style gourmet cooking.
Sincerely,
Paul De Lancey
P.S. May I suggest you invite your wife to come along with you. You don’t want to get in trouble.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Paul De Lancey's Blog 