Bacon & Chocolate

Coins Under Your Sofa Cushions Fundraiser for the Bacon & Chocolate Party

Posted on December 27, 2015 by pauldelancey

B&Ctasty

Right now the nerve center of B&C is the office in my home. It gets crowded when Number One Son uses the other computer in the room. Sometimes Number Two Son kicks me off this computer claiming homework needs to be done. Sometimes, my wife claims I spend too much time on the computer and I better come out now. So, campaigning for the presidency halts. If I don’t campaign, I won’t win the presidency. If I don’t win the presidency, Bacon & Chocolate’s vision for this great nation will be thwarted. What can be done?

I’m glad you asked. B&C has recently learned that really nice, big homes can be rented in Fuggerei, Germany for the rather modest price of 88c. We need one home for the presidential race and another for all our gubernatorial and congressional races. Heather Rhoads has graciously offered to pay the rent for one home. Will you match her generosity? Partially? How about a penny? I know people’s paychecks are often spoken for before they even get them. But I know you want to help Bacon & Chocolate’s glorious cause. Where can you find the spare coins? Where people of the world have always found them. Under their sofa cushions. Please all the pennies, nickels, dimes, and quarters you find to the Bacon & Chocolate Party.*

– Paul R, De Lancey, presidential candidate for the Bacon & Chocolate Party

* = Were  not currently set up to accept funds from fund raising. We need to have a fund raiser to get funds so we can get set up to accept funds from fundraisers.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

 

 

Categories: Bacon & Chocolate, politics | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Concession Speech From The Bacon & Party

Posted on November 6, 2012 by pauldelancey

So, the Bacon and Chocolate party has been largely unsuccessful at winning votes or raising money. I feel we have at least raised awareness. Not terribly certain of what, but I am sure we have done such. So in the interest of the better good for the nation at large, we should all try to cooperate and still eat both bacon and chocolate and just get along. I congratulate my fellow potential presidential nominees, and hope we can all work to achieve our shared goals. Whatever they are.

Written by Jonna Pattillo, Bacon & Chocolate’s brilliant campaign director who worked miracles despite literally having no funds at her disposal.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Bacon & Chocolate, politics | Tags: , , , | Leave a comment

Police Try to Arrest Me At Last Night’s Presidential Debates

Posted on October 17, 2012 by pauldelancey

Wake up America

Paul De Lancey, presidential candidate for Bacon & Chocolate Party says, “The only reason I didn’t get arrested was that I got lost going there and didn’t want to ask for directions. I drowned my sorrows with two root beers at a local Mc’Ds and went home. When I got back home, I  heard the police were waiting for me and got the Green Party instead.”

-From the Huffington Post:

Green Party presidential candidate Jill Stein was arrested outside of Hofstra University on Tuesday after she attempted to enter the debate grounds.

According to Stein’s campaign press statement, Stein and running mate Cheri Honkala joined supporters outside the Hofstra campus at 2 p.m., where Stein declared: “We are here to bring the courage of those excluded from our politics to this mock debate, this mockery of democracy.” When they started to walk onto the debate grounds, they were stopped by police officers, and then the two women sat down on the ground.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Run For Senator, Governor, Or Whatever On The Bacon & Chocolate Party Ticket

Posted on October 16, 2012 by pauldelancey

We’ve all seen the horrible gridlock that threatens to send our great nation’s economy over the cliff. Sure, it’s becoming more and more likely the American voters will elect me, Paul De Lancey as our nation’s president. But what about Congress? Will Democrats and Republicans humiliated by the loss of the presidency to the darkest of dark horses work with me to restore greatness and tranquility to this mighty land? Heck, no. They’ll block him and the will of the people at every turn

unless….

Bacon & Chocolate wins control of the Senate and the House of Representatives in November. We can only do that if you run for Representative, Senator, or even the humble spot of governor. Please declare your candidacy on the Bacon & Chocolate ticket. Do it for America. Do it today.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Bacon & Chocolate, Paul De Lancey, politics | Tags: , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

How Bacon & Chocolate Will Win The Election

Posted on October 15, 2012 by pauldelancey

Remember Bacon & Chocolate’s slogan:

“If you’re going to waste your vote, why not waste it on Bacon & Chocolate?”

Now take the case of California. President Obama is set to win by California and its fifty plus electoral votes by a huge number of votes. There is no reasonable scenario having Romney win this state. So, all Romney supporters will feel free to waste their votes on Bacon & Chocolate because well, they like Bacon & Chocolate. All the Obama supporters, certain in their knowledge of an insurmountable lead over the Republican candidate will also feel at liberty to caste wasted ballots for me, Paul De Lancey, the candidate for Bacon & Chocolate.

This reasoning will result in darn near 97% of all voters wasting their ballots on Bacon & Chocolate. I will carry California in a landslide. I will win ever state that is not a swing state. People will vote me and Bacon & Chocolate into the White House in one of the greatest thumpings of all time.

This is the dawning of the Bacon & Chocolate Era.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Bacon & Chocolate, Paul De Lancey, politics | Tags: , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Presidential Candidate Makes Bold Campaign Promise

Posted on October 12, 2012 by pauldelancey

“If I am elected, all computer printers will always work. They will never jam.”

 

– Mr. Paul De Lancey, presidential candidate for the Bacon & Chocolate party.

 

 

 

 

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Bacon & Chocolate, Paul De Lancey, politics | Tags: , , , , | Leave a comment

Bacon & Chocolate Party Offers FCC Post To Big Bird

Posted on October 8, 2012 by pauldelancey

Years of gainful employment may be no more for America’s big bird if Romney wins the election in November. We must not let this happen.  How you ask?

By voting Bacon & Chocolate Party in November. When B&C wins and I become the president, I shall appoint Big Bird to head the Federal Communications Commission. With Big Bird heading that department, no action against any Sesame Street character will be possible.

Vote Bacon & Chocolate for Big Bird and a Tasty Tomorrow.
(Note: tomorrow will not be tasty because we will be roasting and eating Big Bird. That is a misread of the above slogan. Tomorrow will be tasty because of our pro bacon-and-chocolate policies. Geez!)

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

Categories: Bacon & Chocolate, politics | Leave a comment

Candidate De Lancey Is Thrashing Obama and Romney in On-line Debate.

Posted on October 6, 2012 by pauldelancey

.Candidates Obama, Romney, and De Lancey are at this very moment debating in Helsingor, Denmark Join the debate by logging in at Facebook and friending Paul De Lancey. So far, De Lancey’s verbal jabs are leaving Obama and Romney speechless.

Note: This debate was supposed to have been held on Halloween, but I typed in the wrong date. Sorry.

 

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

 

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Bacon & Chocolate, Paul De Lancey, politics | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

50 Ways To Cook Your Bacon

Posted on October 6, 2012 by pauldelancey

With apologies to Paul Simon and his 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover

“The problem is the cold in your fridge”, she said at last
The answer is easy if you thaw it out not last
I’d like to help you serve us good grub for breakfast
There must be fifty ways to cook your bacon

She said it’s really not my habit to be stern
Furthermore, I hope my frying won’t splatter you, make you burn
But I’ll cook a new batch, if you’ll let me have a turn
There must be fifty ways to cook your bacon
Fifty ways to cook your bacon

Don’t cut off the fat, Jack
Grab the old pan, Stan
You don’t need to eat soy, Roy
Just serve it with brie.
Eat without fuss, Gus
You don’t need a big napkin
Just eat in a tree, Lee
And eat it with glee.
[
Ooo leave on the fat, Jack
Grab the old pan, Stan
You don’t need to eat soy, Roy
Just serve it with brie.
Eat without fuss, Gus
You don’t need a big napkin
Just eat in a tree, Lee
And eat it with glee.

She said it grieves me so to see you in such pain
I wish there was a cold ice pack and some aspirin for your brain.
I said I appreciate that and would you please explain
About the fifty ways

She said why don’t we just buy lemon with some quid.
Cuz’ I believe next morning you’ll cook bacon with a lid
And then she kissed me and come morn’ that it is what I did.
There must be fifty ways to cook your bacon
Fifty ways to leave your bacon

You just don’t cut off the fat, Jack
Grab the old pan, Stan
You don’t need to eat soy, Roy
Just serve it with brie.
Eat without fuss, Gus
You don’t need a big napkin
Just eat in a tree, Lee
And eat it with glee.

Don’t cut off the fat, Jack
Grab the old pan, Stan
You don’t need to eat soy, Roy
Just serve it with brie.
Eat without fuss, Gus
You don’t need a big napkin
Just eat in a tree, Lee
And eat it with glee.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Bacon & Chocolate, Following Good Food, food | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

How To Vote In November

Posted on October 3, 2012 by pauldelancey

Vote to take back our culinary America.
Vote for bacon.
Vote for chocolate.

Vote Bacon & Chocolate
For A Tasty Tomorrow.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

 

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Bacon & Chocolate, Paul De Lancey, politics | Tags: , , , , , | 3 Comments

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