Archer woman #15
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Some of me is definitely in this blog.
– Paul De Lancey, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Listen to Archer Woman
Archer Woman #14
Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
It looks blurry because you’ve drunk too much.
Most of us have never had a DUI offense. We simply don’t drink enough to have an illegal Blood Alcohol Content (BAC) high enough for a citation. In California, the limit for alcohol in your blood stream is 0.08%.
But suppose your celebrating your darling daughter’s wedding. You’d like to toast her future life. You’d like to unwind with champagne at such a wonderful event, but you don’t want to drive drunk. It’s not safe. It’s against the law. A DUI offense could cost you thousands. You could lose your license. This would cripple your traveling flea-circus tour.
As it stands, the safe and legal BAC depends of the number of drinks you’ve had, your weight, and your sex as can be seen in table on the right.
Sobering numbers, and rightly so, but the celebrating driver has been given two signficant loopholes, changing your weight and your sex if you’re a woman. Let’s examine these loopholes.
1) Massive weight gain.
BAC is calculated by dividing the alcohol in your blood stream by your weight. Doubling your weight halves your BAC. I’m allowed to drink more alcohol, because of my weight, than are most men. So there is a huge incentive for the drinking man to tub up as the following table shows.
Drinks Legal for man if he Legal for woman if she
weighs more than weighs more than
—————————————————————–
1 75 67
2 150 133
3 225 200
4 300 267
5 375 333
6 450 400
7 525 467
8 600 533
9 675 600
10 750 667
2) Sex Change – Works only for some women
As the DMV’s table (at the top) shows, a woman who weighs 160 will be legally intoxicated if she has two drinks. However, if she opts for a sex-change operation to become a man, those same two drinks will leave her legal to drive.
Similarly, a woman who weighs 240 pounds will also benefit from a gender change.
Note well, these two options might not be the right choices for you. Side effects, consequences, etc.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
The superb Anna Kendick sings the great song “Cups,” aka “When I’m Gone,” in the excellent movie Pitch Perfect.
The true lyrics include:
“You’re gonna miss me by my walk, you’re gonna miss me by my talk, oh”
But didn’t you hear?
“You’re gonna miss me by my walk, you’re gonna miss me by my taco”
I mean who wouldn’t hear “taco?”
“Talk, oh” sounds exactly like “taco.” It does! It really does. And why not? The tasty taco is the world’s greatest food.
Eating something other than a taco is like cheating on your true love. So, is it any wonder that the incredible Ms. Kendrick sings about the divine taco? Is it any wonder we miss a woman with a taco?
Misheard Lyrics #16
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Archer Woman is a woman of action.
Archer Woman #9
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
And here she is.
You need to see #23
Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Archer Woman #6
Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
People who do rude things often say, “Well, what are you going to do about it?” Archer Woman knows what she’ll do,
Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
If you wish to stand upside down, you must move to Australia or to another country in the Southern Hemisphere. The following two photos prove that people there stand upside down.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
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