Posts Tagged With: haikus

The Sounds of Silence

What if there were a word composed entirely of silent letters? I’ve never heard of such a word, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. I didn’t know of the word “qi,” and I still don’t know what it means, but it gets Scrabble players really excited. The second “l” in Maxwell is silent, or is the second? The “h” in rhombus is silent, so why not a word that is totally silent. Indeed, Simon & Garfunkels “Sounds of Silence” is a tribute to silent words. I am not nearly as musically talented as that duo. I will content myself by honoring silent words with the following haiku.

Silent Words*

ss ss ss ss ss

ss ss ss ss ss ss ss

ss ss ss ss ss ss

* Where ss stands for silent syllable.                                      The above picture shows what silence looks like.


Note that haikus for silent words really haven’t taken off since they are pretty much identical

– Paul the Wonderer


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Zimbabwean Dovi (Peanut Butter Chicken Stew)

Zimbabwean Entree

(Peanut Butter Chicken Stew)


1 1/2 medium onions
2 cloves garlic
2 green bell peppers
1/2 pound spinach
4 medium tomatoes
3 chicken breasts
2 tablespoons butter
1/4 teaspoon cayenne
1/2 teaspoon paprika
1/2 teaspoon pepper
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup peanut butter
2 cups water

Makes 8-to-10 bowls


Mince onions and garlic. (Vampires won’t like this soup.) Dice bell peppers. Remove stems from spinach. Dice tomatoes. Cut chicken into 1/2″ cubes. Put onion, garlic, and butter in pot. Sauté at medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onion is tender. Stir frequently.

Add chicken, bell pepper, cayenne, paprika, pepper, pepper, and salt to pot. Cook for about 5 minutes on medium heat or until chicken begins to brown. Add tomato, peanut butter, and water. Simmer on low heat for 10 minutes. Stir occasionally.

Add spinach to pot. Simmer on low heat for 10 minutes, stirring occasionally. Serve and enjoy. Live long and prosper.


1) I looked up fun facts about Zimbabwe. I read how its current leader had the houses of 700,000 homes of poor people destroyed because they had opposed him. Boy, fun facts you betcha.

2) Divo is an anagram for void. It is also an anagram for Ovid, the famous Roman.

3) Devo was a famous band from the early 1980. I have one of their albums. I’ve found no evidence to back the assertion that the band was named after this stew.

4) However, if Ovid had been a member of Devo, say bass guitar, and he didn’t have a video of divo soup then Devo Ovid would have had a TivoTM divo void.

5) And now two divo haikus:

Oh great Zimbabwe
Your peanuts and your spinach
Make yummy dovi

Mince ingredients
Simmer for ten minutes long
Stir occasionally

– Chef Paul


My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at:

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Cooking Haikus

Cooking Haikus

Avoid tears while cooking.
Cut onions underwater.
Take deep breath. Get wet.

Have a pound of dill.
Nearby chefs are so jealous.
Defend home with mace.

Zen Chef wants pizza.
Make me one with everything.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

Batter stay on. Stay on.
I will not impress my guests.
When you fall off meat.

Where’s the sour cream?
Where the measuring spoons? Cups?
Where’s the mixing bowl?

I am very rich.
I have completely cornered
The saffron market

Oh crap, crap, crap, crap
Must go to the store again.
Need ingredient.

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World is available in paperpack or Kindle on

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at:

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Soda-Sadness Haikus

Sodas, oh sodas,
Why are you so unhealthy
When you taste so good?

Oh soda makers,
Why is it so hard to make
Freaking healthy drinks?

Phosphorus is bad
Caramel coloring’s bad
Life’s getting grayer.

A healthy soda,
My kingdom for good soda!
Five more syllables.

Life without root beer
Is life without a defense
To counter pure evil.

Sodas, unhealthy.
Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?
Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?

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