Posts Tagged With: chicken

What This Country Needs

Posted on February 16, 2025 by pauldelancey

 

 

Be afraid of shredded meat, be very afraid

This country desperately needs shredded beef, pork, and chicken that doesn’t stick in our teeth. We get irriated when shredded meat gets stuck between our teeth. Our irritation turns to rage. Rage transform seamlessly into violence. We hit people. Neighborhood riots ensue. Houses burn to the ground. The newly homeless people take their AK-47s out of their gun cabinets and invade someone else’s home. The victimized people fight back. Violence doubles and redoubles. Soon buildings all across the country collapse in a nation wide inferno.

Or . . .

a man becomes fixated on the tiresome shredded pork lodged between his teeth. So much so that he doesn’t listen to his put-upon wife. She can’t abide his abiding neglect. This is the last time for him. She plunges a steak knife deep in his gullet. Ironically, she could have removed the embedded shredded pork with her steak knife, but hindsight is 20/20. With his last breath the oafish husband phones his friends and ask them to avenge him. They comply. The newly minted, murdering wife calls her friends. Red mist descends on the two sides of the family. A roving firefight erupts. Passersby get gunned dowm. The lethal battles sucks in more and more families demanding lethal justice. A deadly and amorphous civil war envelops our country.

Or . . .

a zoo keeper becomes so distracted by shredded beef stuck by his canines that he forgets to close the gates to the carnivores’ gates. First, the lions plunge their canines into the vistors’ necks. People panic. They pour hot lead at the hungry carnivores. The shooters don’t hit the rampaging beasts; they have panicked, remember? They do manage to riddle a park bus. The panic become pandemic. Soon our once peaceful land becomes a seething cauldron of deadly violence.

All these scenarios are bad. Yes, all of them. So please, will someone, develop shredded meat that doesn’t lodge in our teeth. I will make you a big bag of chocolate chip cookies if you do. Thank you.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

Categories: this country needs | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Creamy Lemon Chicken

Posted on December 10, 2024 by pauldelancey

American Entree

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CREAMY LEMON CHICKEN

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INGREDIENTS
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1 lemon
1½ pounds chicken breasts
½ teaspoon pepper
½ teaspoon salt
¾ cup flour
3 tablespoons butter
1 tablespoon olive oil
2 teaspoons minced garlic
1 cup chicken broth
2½ tablespoons lemon juice
1¼ cups heavy cream
2 teaspoons parsley
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Serves 4. Takes 45 minutes.
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PREPARATION
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Cut lemon into 4 slices. Cut chicken breasts in half. Cut chicken halves along their width to make thin cutlets. Rub pepper and salt evenly onto chicken cutlets. Add flour to mixing bowl. Dredge cutlets through flour. Shake off any excess.
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Add butter and olive oil to large pan. Use medium heat to melt butter. Swirl pan until butter and oil combine. Carefully add chicken cutlets to pan. Sauté for 4 minutes on each side or chicken turns golden brown on both sides. Stir enough to keep from burning.
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Remove chicken and set aside. Leave butter and olive oil in pan. Add minced garlic. Sauté for 1 minute at medium heat. Stir frequently Add chicken broth and lemon juice. Bring to boil using medium heat. Stir occasionally. Reduce heat to low-medium and simmer. Add heavy cream. Simmer sauce for 3 minutes. Stir enough to keep from burning. Return chicken cutlets to pan. Ladle sauce over chicken. Simmer for 6 minutes or until sauce starts to thicken. Stir occasionally. Garnish with lemon slices and parsley.
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TIDBITS
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1) Q: Why did the creamy lemon chicken cross the road?
A: To get to the other side so it could wash off the heavy cream and lemon juice some oaf dumped on it.
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2) Culinary hygienists in France are currently giving chickens regular showers and towel drys to see if that improves poultry-product safety. There’s also evidence that, gosh darn it, chicken just like being clean. As culinary mystic Farine du Ble said, “Of course they wish to be clean. They’re just as vain as we are. The spirit of Helen the Chicken contacted me and told me so.” Now you know.
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­- Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, observations, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Zereshk Polo Morgh (Barberry Rice Chicken)

Posted on November 24, 2024 by pauldelancey

Persian Entree

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ZERESHK POLO MORGH

(Barberry Rice Chicken)

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INGREDIENTS – SAFFRON BLOOM
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½ teaspoon saffron threads
⅓ cup hot water
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INGREDIENTS – CHICKEN
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1 large onion
½ red bell pepper
3 pounds bone-in chicken pieces (breast, thighs, or legs)
2 teaspoons saffron bloom (obtained below in preparation, 4 more tablespoons later)
½ teaspoon pepper
¼ teaspoon salt
¼ teaspoon turmeric
2 tablespoons butter
1½ tablespoons olive oil (3 tablespoons more later)
1 tablespoon olive oil (2 tablespoons more later)
¾ teaspoon advieh* (Persian spice mix) or coriander
2 tablespoons tomato paste
2 tablespoons saffron bloom (obtained below in preparation, 2 more tablespoons later)
1⅔ cups water
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INGREDIENTS – BARBERRY RICE
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1 cup dried barberries*
1⅔ cups long-grain rice or basmati rice
2 tablespoons saffron bloom (obtained below in preparation)
1 tablespoon butter
2 tablespoons olive oil
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* = May be obtained at Middle Eastern supermarkets or online.
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SPECIAL UTENSILS
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Dutch oven
rice cooker
colander
4 ramekins or cups
sonic obliterator
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Serves 4. Takes 2 hours.
PREPARATION – SAFFRON BLOOM
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Add saffron threads to 1st small mixing bowl. Use fingers to crush saffron threads. Add crushed saffron to small bowl. Pour ⅓ cup hot water on crushed saffron. Let steep for 10 minutes or until liquid turns deep orange.
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PREPARATION – CHICKEN
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Dice onion and red bell pepper. Add chicken pieces, 2 teaspoons saffron bloom, pepper, salt, and turmeric to large mixing bowl. Turn chicken parts over until thoroughly coated. Marinate in refrigerator for 20 minutes. Add marinated chicken, 2 tablespoons butter, and 1½ tablespoons olive oil to Dutch oven. Sauté for 10 minutes at medium-high heat or until chicken turns golden brown. Stir and flip occasionally . Remove chicken and set aside. (Keep remaining olive oil in Dutch oven..)
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Add 1 tablespoon olive oil, diced bell pepper, onion, and advieh to Dutch oven. Sauté for 5 minutes at medium-high heat or until onion softens. Stir frequently. Add tomato paste. Sauté at medium-high heat for 2 minutes. Stir constantly.
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Add 2 tablespoons saffron bloom and 1⅔ cups water to Dutch oven. Bring to boil using high heat. Stir frequently. Add back the set-aside chicken. Cover, reduce heat to low and simmer for 45 minutes or until chicken pieces become tender.
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PREPARATION – BARBERRY RICE
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While chicken simmers, While barberries sit, rinse rice in colander. Add rice to rice cooker. Cook rice according to instructions that come with rice cooker or on rice package. (You might need to cook in batches.) Add barberries to 2nd small mixing bowl. Add enough water to cover. Let sit for 15 minutes. Drain barberries in colander.
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Add 2 tablespoons saffron bloom to the barberries in the 2nd small mixing bowl. Mix with spatula or spoon until barberries become well coated. Add 1 tablespoon butter and 2 tablespoons olive oil to pan. Sauté at low-medium heat for 2 minutes or until barberries swell. Stir frequently.
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PREPARATION – ASSEMBLY
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Fluff rice with fork. Add rice and sautéed barberries to medium mixing bowl. Mix with fork until well blended. Fill ramekins with sauce from Dutch oven. Add a chicken to each guest’s plate. Place barberry rice next to chicken. Set ramekin next to chicken and rice. By all means, use your sonic obliterator on any oaf who gives you guff, any guff at all, about this creation of yours or if he arrives to dining table more than two minutes late.
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TIDBITS
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1) What if a man comes running toward you yelling, “Zeresk polo morgh?” Your frantic brain might think he’s saying, “I want to bury you in zucchinis.” That’s terrifying. Now if you know he’s saying “Barberry rice chicken,” you’d be less frightened. Okay, a man charging you shouting, “Barberry rice chicken” is still intimidating. Best to run away, but not as fast as when he wanted to bury you in zucchinis. So, never shout your country’s entrees while running toward someone or not.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Gravy

Posted on November 10, 2024 by pauldelancey

American Appetizer

GRAVY

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INGREDIENTS
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1 bouillon cube (the same type as the stock)
2⅓ cups chicken, beef, or turkey stock
¼ cup butter
¼ cup flour
½ teaspoon onion powder
¼ teaspoon pepper
½ teaspoon rosemary
½ teaspoon sage
¼ teaspoon thyme
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Serves 6.  Takes 15 minutes.
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PREPARATION
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Smash bouillon cube into bits. Add bouillon bits and broth to microwavable bowl. Microwave for 2 minutes or until bouillon bits dissolve. Mix with spoon until well blended. Add butter to pan. Melt butter using medium heat. Stir frequently and gently. Add flour. Stir constantly with whisk or fork for 2 minutes or until mixture turns golden brown.
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Slowly add stock/bouillon liquid to pan. Stir as you do so. Reduce heat to low-medium. Simmer for 4 minutes or until mixture bubbles and thickens to the consistency of gravy. Stir frequently, Add remaining ingredients. Stir with spatula until well blended.
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TIDBITS
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1) Is there nothing that gravy doesn’t make better? Here’s a partial list of dishes and foods made tastier with gravy. Biscuits, biscuits and sausage, butter, chicken fried steak, fried chicken, hamburger patties, herbed pork roast, mashed potatoes, meatloaf, mushrooms, polenta, pork chops, rice, roast beef, roasted turkey, Salisbury steak, sausage, stuffed bell peppers, stuffing, vegetables
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2) Are there any foods made worse by gravy? Pumpkin pie and orange juice come to mind.
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3) Fun historical fact. The first humans to come to North America came from Asia via the famous land bridge. Only the bridge wasn’t made with land. Wandering tribes came to the Bering Strait, which of course, filled with water. Well, poo. But these first North American were terrific problem solvers and gravy lovers. They carried millions of tons on the backs of pack animals wherever they went. Why so much? They loved gravy as who does not? (See tidbit 1.)
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4) Anyway, the problem solvers dumped half of their gravy into the Bering Strait. This water proved cold enough to freeze a gravy bridge connecting Siberia with Alaska. The land rush of North America was on! Note: you can no longer find this famous bridge. Cycles of prehistoric warming thawed the gravy bridge. Oh well.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Chicken Flautas – 2

Posted on October 2, 2024 by pauldelancey

Mexican Entree

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CHICKEN FLAUTAS

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INGREDIENTS
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2 pounds chicken breasts
2 garlic cloves
1 small onion
2 tablespoons vegetable oil (4 cups more later)
¼ teaspoon cumin
¼ pound queso fresco or feta cheese
½ cup salsa
12 uncooked or freshly made corn tortillas*
2 cups vegetable oil (or at least ½” deep)
2 tablespoons fresh cilantro
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* = Cooked tortillas from the store require softening in the skillet or microwave. Uncooked tortillas while harder to find, make preparation easier.
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SPECIAL UTENSILS
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toothpicks
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Serves 6. Takes 1 hour 30 minutes.
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PREPARATION
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Cut chicken breasts into parts weighing ½ pound. Add chicken parts and enough water to cover to pot. Bring to boil using high heat. Reduce heat to low-medium and simmer for 25 minutes or until chicken shreds easily.  Move chicken to plate. Shred chicken using forks.
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While chicken simmers, mince garlic and dice onion. Add garlic, onion, and 2 tablespoons oil to pan. Sauté at medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until garlic and onion soften. Stir frequently. Add shredded chicken and cumin. Stir until well blended. Remove from heat. Add equal amounts of the shredded chicken/onion mixture, queso fresco, and salsa to the middle of each tortilla. Roll up tortillas tightly and pin together with toothpicks. Break off toothpick ends if they stick out more than ¼” or so. (Rolled-up tortillas that have toothpicks that stick out a lot are difficult to turn over when frying.)
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Add oil to pan. Heat oil using medium-high heat until a tiny piece of the tortillas starts to dance in the oil. Add rolled-up tortillas to pan seem-side down. Sauté at medium-high heat for 4 minutes or until tortillas turn golden brown. (You will probably need to turn the heat down or sauté for less time with succeeding batches.) Turn frequently to ensure even browning. (Be careful of splattering.) Remove from heat. Drain on plate covered with paper towel. Dice cilantro. Garnish with cilantro. Goes well with salsa.
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TIDBITS
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1) Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, “The Angler of Vienna,” was also a pretty darn talented musician, writing such toe-tapping operas such as, Il re Pastore, Zaide, Die Entführung aus dem Serail, Le Nozze di Figaro, Don Giovanni, and Cossi Fan Tutte.” By the way, Mozart’s agent, Paolo Fettuccine, arranged for tutti frutti, a new ice cream with chopped and candied fruits in it to be served at Cossi Fan Tutte’s debut. It was a stroke of P.R. genius. Ice cream lovers came for the dessert and stayed for the opera. Wolfgang never looked back, except when on the way to his secret fishing places. But it is in Mozie’s culinary operas where The Angler of Vienna’s talents really shined. Who can fail to be uplifted by his sole English work, The Three Penny Hot Dog? or feel the anguish of Gibt es wirklich keine Apfelkuchen? (Is There Really No Apple Pie?)
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2) The years 1784 – 1787 were his happiest; he had great fishing spots to himself. These interludes of quietude were also the moments of his greatest musical creativity as witnessed by the Fish Cycle operas: Der Kabeljau auf dem Markt (The Cod at the Market), Limone Pesce Impanati (Lemon Breaded Fish), and of course, “The Angler of Vienna’s favorite, Il Mio Punto di Pesca (My Own Fishing Spot.)
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3) It’s ironic that Mozart, a famous fan of German cuisine, would write his greatest opera about Mexican food. But who could not be inspired by the brilliant cuisine of Vienna’s famous restaurant, Los Cinco Tacos? Wolfang tried the restaurant’s chicken flautas and fell in love with them. He would stay up all night to compose the brilliant, brilliant I say, opera, Las Flautas Mágicas (The Magic Flautas.) Unfortunately, the politics of that year dictated that no operas be performed in Spanish. (Do try to see it if it’s being performed nearby.) Broken hearted that he was, Mozart rewrote his opus. And so we have the not too shabby Die Zauberflöte (The Magic Flute.) But Mozart would never again write about Mexican food.
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4) Then on December 5, 1791, Mozart’s muse, Ernestine, imparted to him the idea of writing the opera Stoßen der magische Kugelfisch, (Puff the Magic Pufferfish.) So strong was Mozie’s excitement over what he knew what would be his magnum opus that he grabbed his fishing pole and raced to Danube River. He continually glanced over his shoulders to see if anyone were following, for all the local anglers would descend on him en masse and fish and fish out his little side pond. It was heartbreaking. Mozart had to scrap one seafood opera after another because he couldn’t bring in enough fish to give a true, abiding sense of its flavor and abiding soul. On one occasion, competitors once fished all the trout from his special inlet. This is why we never got to hear Guten Morgen, Forelle (Good Morning, Trout) and had to settle for the markedly inferior, Don Giovanni.
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5) Anyway, Mozie eluded all anglers that day and caught six pufferfish. (1791 was an extraordinarily bountiful year for Viennese pufferfish.) Wolfie scurried home as fast as his chubby little legs would carry him. He cooked all the fish. Unfortunately, he died. For while his wiener schnitzel was second to none, he didn’t know how beans about preparing the potentially fatal pufferfish. His last words were, “Gott im Himmel, where are my car keys?” There were, of course, no cars in 1791 and so no need for car keys. Culinary historians Mozart had channeling the frustration of millions upon millions of people two centuries later.But Wolfgang’s musical vision for the pufferfish lasted through the centuries floating through the atmosphere until it found a suitable vessel, a worthy receptacle. This is how we got the classic song, “Puff the Magic Dragon” by Peter, Paul, and Mary. Sure the name and length of Stoßen der magische Kugelfisch changed  a bit, but that magnum-opus had been floating around for centuries and became susceptible to modern musical scenes. And there you go.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Chicken Tostada

Posted on September 22, 2024 by pauldelancey

Mexican Entree

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CHICKEN TOSTADA

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INGREDIENTS­
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2 garlic cloves
1 green onion
1 green or red bell pepper
⅔ red onion
⅔ small yellow onion
1 pound canned refried beans
½ cup crema Mexicana or sour cream
2 tablespoons olive oil
1⅓ pounds shredded chicken
2 teaspoons cilantro
½ teaspoon coriander
1 teaspoon cumin
1 teaspoon lime juice
¾ teaspoon Mexican oregano or oregano
⅛ teaspoon pepper
6 tostada shells
1½ cups shredded lettuce
½ cup shredded cotija cheese or Four Mexican cheeses
½ cup salsa (optional)
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PREPARATION
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Dice garlic, green onion, bell pepper, red onion, and yellow onion. Add refried beans and crema Mexicana to pot. Cook at medium heat for 5 minutes until mixture is hot and creamy.
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Add garlic, green onion, bell pepper, olive oil, red onion, yellow onion, shredded chicken, cilantro, coriander, cumin, lime juice, Mexican oregano, and pepper to pan. Cook at medium heat for 5 minutes or until chicken is no longer pink.
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Divide refried beans equally between tostadas. Put similar amounts of chicken/bell pepper mix on top of beans. Crown tostadas with lettuce, shredded cotija cheese, and salsa.
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TIDBITS
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1) Reginald “Chicken Tostada” Hernandez, terrorized the Arizona railroads in the early 1880s. People say Reginald held up the Southern Pacific and the Atlantic & Pacific railroads 17,223 times. Other, less feverish souls, believe this number to be too high. At any rate, his robberies gave him enough cash to maintain his colossal chicken-tostada habit. This last bit could very well be true as he dined on chicken tostadas for every meal he had since he turned 16. It’s a mystery, though, why his mother Senora Maria Hernandez named her son, Reginald. Perhaps it’s after the famous cricketer Reginald Smythe-Parkinson who toured Sonora with the British national cricket team in 1856.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Slow Cooker Shredded Chicken

Posted on September 15, 2024 by pauldelancey

American Appetizer

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SLOW COOKER SHREDDED CHICKEN

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INGREDIENTS
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2 pounds boneless chicken
1 cup chicken broth
½ teaspoon garlic powder
½ teaspoon onion powder
¼ teaspoon pepper
¾ teaspoon salt
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Makes 2 pounds shredded chicken. Takes 3 hours.
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SPECIAL UTENSIL.
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slow cooker
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PREPARATION
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Place all ingredients in slow cooker. Set slow cooker to high and cook for 3 hours. Remove chicken and place it on plate. Use two forks to shred chicken. If desired, drizzle liquid from slow cooker over shredded chicken. Leftover shredded chicken should keep for 3 days in the refrigerator if stored in air-tight container.
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TIDBITS
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1) This recipe asks you to shred chicken.
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2) But chicken do their own shredding.
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3) Indeed, every April 16th Kona, Hawaii  holds the Great Chicken Surfing Invitational.
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4) The chicken that shreds the gnarly waves the best, wins the grand prize of a lifetime supply of Kobe worms.
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5) For there are worms and there are Kobe worms.
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6) Hattie the Hen retired just two weeks ago. She holds the record with six championships. Not a paltry poultry achievement, you bet.
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7) “She will be so missed,” said surfer legend Dude McLain. “Did you ever see one of her 360 airs? Hattie’s was the queen of shredding. She was legit, man. I wish I could have shredded like her.”
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8) A new surfing era beckons. Who will be the next chicken champion? Will it be the crowd’s new favorite, Betsy? Again from McLain, “How’d she master shredding waves in Wyoming? Far out.”
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Wanda Wunder Wonders About Peeps

Posted on March 17, 2024 by pauldelancey

Peeps(tm), those little chick and bunny-shaped candies, are incredibly popular, but Wanda Wunder wants to know:

Wanda Wunder #37

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Wanda Wunder | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Fajita Bowls

Posted on February 25, 2024 by pauldelancey

Mexican Entree

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FAJITA BOWLS

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INGREDIENTS
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4 8″ flour tortillas
non-stick spray
½ teaspoon red chili powder
¾ teaspoon cumin
¼ teaspoon coriander
¾ teaspoon Poultry MagicTM spice or chicken seasoning
1½ pounds chicken breasts
2 garlic cloves
1 small onion
½ green bell pepper
1 orange bell pepper
½ red bell pepper
4½ tablespoons vegetable oil (3 times at 1½ tablespoons)
1½ tablespoons lime juice (3 times at 1½ tablespoons)
¼ teaspoon TabascoTM sauce or a Mexican hot sauce
1½ cups lettuce
½ cup shredded Four Mexican cheeses
salsa (optional)
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SPECIAL UTENSILS
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4 nonstick tortilla salad bowl molds (nonstick and oven safe)
mandoline (optional)
lazy Susan, about 24 inches across, if you can find one.
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Serves 4. Takes 1 hour.
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PREPARATION – FAJITA SHELLS
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Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Spray both sides of tortilla with non-stick spray. Gently push flour tortilla down into tortilla mold. Do this for every tortilla mold. Put tortilla molds in oven. Bake at 375 degrees for 10 minutes or until tortilla molds brown around the edges and become crispy.
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PREPARATION – FIXINGS
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While tortilla bowls bake, make spice mix by whisking together in small bowl: chili powder, cumin, coriander, poultry spice, and Tabasco sauce. This is the spice mix. Cut chicken into strips ½” wide and 2″ long. Add ⅓ of spice mix to chicken. Mix until chicken is coated with spice.
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Mince garlic cloves. Use mandoline to slice the onion into rings. Cut rings into fourths. Combine ⅓ of spice mix with garlic and onion. Use mandoline to slice all the bell peppers into rings. Cut bell-pepper rings into fourths. Combine ⅓ of spice mix with bell peppers.
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Add garlic, onion , 1½ tablespoons vegetable oil, ½ and tablespoon lime juice to frying pan. Sauté for 5 minutes at medium-high heat or until bell pepper softens. Transfer to bowl on lazy Susan. Add garlic, onion, 1½ tablespoons vegetable oil, ½ tablespoon lime juice to frying pan. Sauté for 5 minutes at medium-high heat or until onion softens. Stir frequently. Transfer to bowl on lazy Susan.
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Add bell pepper, 1½ tablespoons vegetable oil, and ½ tablespoon lime juice to frying pan. Sauté for 5 minutes at medium-high heat or until bell pepper softens. Transfer to bowl on lazy Susan. Add garlic, onion, 1½ tablespoons vegetable oil, ½ tablespoon lime juice to frying pan. Sauté for 5 minutes at medium-high heat or until bell pepper softens. Stir frequently. Transfer to bowl on lazy Susan.
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Add chicken strips,  tablespoons vegetable oil, and ½ tablespoon lime juice to frying pan. Sauté for 5 minutes at medium-high heat or until cooked through. Stir frequently. Transfer to bowl on lazy Susan.
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Shred lettuce. Put lettuce and cheese in bowls on lazy Susan. Fill tortilla bowl with chicken, onion/garlic, bell pepper, lettuce, and cheese. Arriba.
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TIDBITS
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1) It is doubtful there ever was a real lazy Susan.
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2) To clear the good name of Susan, here is a list of famous Susan singers: Susan Boyle, Susan McFadden, and Suzi Quatro–Okay a variation on Susan, but I listened to her in college, so there.
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3) Famous Susan actresses: Susan St. James, Susan Hampshire–I  watched her in a Masterpiece Theater series during college; she rocked, Ms. Hampshire–Susan Dey, Susan Lucci, Susan Oliver, Susan Sarandon–star of the cult classic Rocky Horror Picture Show–and Susan Hayward
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4) Famous Susan authors: Susan Cheever, Susan Isaacs, Susan Sontag–I have a book of hers sitting on my bookshelf–and Susan Fromberg Schaeffer.
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5) Famous U.S. senator: Susan Collins.
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6) Famous social reformer and women’s right activist: Susan B. Anthony
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7) Famous interdisciplinary structural biologist: Susan S. Taylor
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8) Famous dog of Queen Elizabeth II: Susan.
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9) Famous Susan mass murderers: None.
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10) Famous Susan dictators: None.
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11) See? Susans are brilliant and nice. I can vouch for the niceness of every Susan I’ve met.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, international, observations | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Five Layer Chicken Florentine

Posted on February 5, 2024 by pauldelancey

Italian Entree

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FIVE LAYER CHICKEN FLORENTINE

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INGREDIENTS
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 FIRST  LAYER – BOTTOM SAUCE
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1 10.5-ounce can of cream of celery
½ cup mayonnaise
¾ cup grated sharp cheddar cheese
1 tablespoon lemon juice
⅛ teaspoon salt (⅛ teaspoon more in FOURTH LAYER)
⅛ teaspoon pepper
⅛ teaspoon Mediterranean rice spice
2 tablespoons rice vinegar
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SECOND LAYER – RICE
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1 cup rice
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THIRD LAYER – CHICKEN
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2 chicken breasts
2 tablespoon vegetable oil
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FOURTH LAYER – TOP SAUCE
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1 10-ounce package creamed spinach
½ cup milk
¼ cup grated Swiss cheese
1 small onion
1 teaspoon Dijon mustard
⅛ teaspoon thyme
¼ teaspoon coriander
¼ teaspoon Poultry MagicTM spice
⅛ teaspoon salt
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FIFTH LAYER – BREAD CRUMBS AND CHEESE
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½ cup bread crumbs
1 tablespoon butter, melted
¼ cup Parmesan cheese
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SPECIAL EQUIPMENT
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large casserole dish
medium casserole dish
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Serves 6. Takes 1 hour 30 minutes.
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PREPARATION
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The five layers are from bottom to top:
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First: bottom sauce
Second: rice
Third: chicken breast
Fourth: top sauce
Fifth: cheese and bread crumbs
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FIRST LAYER – BOTTOM SAUCE
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Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Add celery soup, mayonnaise, Cheddar cheese, lemon juice, Mediterranean rice spice, ⅛ teaspoon salt, pepper, and rice vinegar to baking dish. Mix thoroughly with fork or whisk. Bake in large casserole dish for 25 minutes at 375 degrees. Set aside. (You can save time by preparing the fourth layer and putting in the oven after you have put this layer in the oven.)
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SECOND LAYER – RICE (Above bottom sauce)
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Cook rice according to instructions on package. Spread evenly over FIRST LAYER in large casserole dish when both are done.
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THIRD LAYER – CHICKEN BREAST (Above rice)
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While at the bottom sauce is baking and the rice is cooking, cut each chicken breast into 12 pieces. Add chicken and vegetable oil to non-stick frying pan. Sauté chicken on high heat for 10 minutes or until it starts to brown. Stir occasionally. Put chicken breasts on top of the SECOND LAYER of rice when all 3 layers are done. (Resist the temptation to drive to KFC.) Set aside,
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FOURTH LAYER – TOP SAUCE (Above chicken breast)
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Dice onion. Add creamed spinach, milk, Swiss cheese, onion, Dijon mustard, thyme, coriander, poultry spice, and ⅛ teaspoon salt to medium casserole dish. Bake for 25 minutes at 375 degrees. Remove and set aside. Put sauce on top of the THIRD LAYER of chicken breast when all 4 layers are done.
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FIFTH LAYER – BREAD CRUMBS AND CHEESE (Above top sauce)
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After you have taken the casserole dishes out of the oven, and have placed the first four layers in order, spread the bread crumbs and Parmesan cheese evenly over the FOURTH layer. Pour the melted butter evenly, as always, over everything. Put the five layers in the large casserole dish back in the oven.
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Bake for 25 minutes at 375 degrees. The sauce layers should be set and the chicken cooked through.
Grab a cold mug of root beer. Sip it slowly. Savor the taste. Grab the frying pan with your other hand. Use the pan to threaten anyone who complains about the wait for this dish. Then eat it all yourself. It’s great.
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TIDBITS
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1) Spinach was cultivated 2,000 years ago in Iran. Now, Iran may very well be contemplating building a nuclear bomb for dubious purposes.
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2) The ancient Romans and Greeks cultivated spinach as well and never built a nuclear device.
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3) So maybe we shouldn’t worry about Iran.
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4) After all Popeye The Sailorman always consumed cans of spinach in times of crisis and always fought for the honor and welfare of his beloved Olive Oyl.
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5) California produces half of America’s spinach.
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6) Did Popeye’s spinach come from California?
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7) Did Popeye ever marry Olive Oyl? I’d like to think so, even if they had to elope to do it.
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8) I had a Yogi The Bear lunch box in first grade. I don’t believe I ever had Five Layer Florentine Chicken put in it.
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9) This recipe originally called for 10.75-ounce can of cream of celery soup. The recipe uses a 10.50-ounce can.
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10) Why?
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11) Shrinkflation. Inflation describes how prices rise over time. Companies know we don’t want to keep paying more for the same thing. So, they shrink the size of their products. They still get the same amount of money from us, but smaller amounts of ingredients, means their products cost them less to produce. They make bigger profits as they think we aren’t clever or observant enough to notice.
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12) Shrinkflation is rampant, especially in times of higher inflation. The size of cans, bottles, jars, and packages in most of my recipes have decreased since press time. Bastids.
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13) It makes me wonder about the opportunities for shrinkflation outside the food industry.
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14) Instead of raising the price of basketballs, make them smaller and smaller. Would this affect basketball games in the NBA? Yes, it would.
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15) Car tires. The price of these tires are already high. Why not make them smaller? And smaller tires will slow your car. You’ll receive fewer speeding tickets. Note, there’s a limit to tire smallness. If the tires become so tiny that they can’t reach the road, the car won’t more. No more shrinkflation. Yay!
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16) Lens size for glasses. Why pay more for a pair of glasses, when you can shrink the lenses? After a while others and you won’t be able to see them. (See what I did there?) No more self consciousness about your appearance.
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17) There should be three more lines of tidbits, but I shrank this section’s size.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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