Posts Tagged With: CDs

What I Did Today

Posted on January 16, 2024 by pauldelancey

 

Metaphor Mel removes financial weeds

Busy, busy day. I’m exhausted.

1) Woke up.

2) Got up. Right away, Go me!

3) Had a glazed doughnut for breakfast.

4) Finances are like flower gardens. They can be beautiful and reassuring. Then if you neglect them, even take your eyes off them for a bit, evil hardy weeds overrun them. So today, I engaged in hours of weed pulling. If that isn’t a metaphor, I don’t know what is.

4) Brokered a cease fire between two peacefully coexisting neighboring nations. It was easier than you might think.

5) Paused and reflected.

6) Went to the bank to turn my CD into a new one paying 4.5%. If left to their own devices banks will roll over your CD into a new one that pays you $3 for every $10,000 you invest with them. How do ever stay in business

7) The woman at the bank got me the CD I wanted with NO hassle AT ALL. She ever told me how to do the next rollover on line.  She is a financial goddess!

8) Wondered if any mollusks have pages on Facebook.

9) Looked up recipes for bread pizzas. What a clever way to use up lots of idle bread slices.

10) Made my first and only proper meal of the day: ham and cheese sandwich.

11) Did Wordle in four tries.

12) Watched an episode about Saturn’s moons, part of a travelog on India, and episode about prehistoric Britain.

13) Worked on this blog.

14) Ready for more adventures. Latch hooking is on the horizon.

3b) Oops! I forgot to say that I got dressed. I most certainly did not go into the world undressed. Goodness!

Behave yourselves.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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The Saga of the New Stereo System

Posted on January 19, 2023 by pauldelancey

The new arrival

I have had a rather forlorn stereo system sitting neglected in the corner of my living room. It hadn’t worked well for a long time. The speakers emitted crackling noises the last times I tried to listen to its radio or to records. The CD player refused to release the CD within in it. The leads from the speakers were live wires. The whole system deserved a dignified death. I always meant to do something, yet the years saw backpacks and such get stored in front present an impenetrable barrier.

This reminds me of a joke. Wives, when a husband tells you he will do something, he will do it. There’s no need to remind him every six months.

Anyway, after a scant two decades I mustered up the get and go up to get a new system. Yes, I am rather proud of my initiative.

First, I wanted to find my records for there was no point of getting something with a turntable if I no longer had LPs.

So, I set out to find them in the garage. Unfortunately, they had found themselves a well-hidden lair. I had to pull about half of the boxes and containers away from the walls before I discovered the records. At that point, Number Two Son I agreed that I might as well sort out the garage.

Just 40 hours later, we’d discarded scads of loose papers and books that would never get read before our Sun went super nova. We organized everything into categories and put them into new containers. We labeled them and stacked against the garage wells. It looks so much neater. If you’re in the neighborhood, you really should come and see my orderly garage. I regard the place as one of the Seven Wonders of the Modern World.

I then reorganized my office as I needed to make space for my new system, my records, and my CDs.

My new stereo system arrived just hours after completing all tidying up. Here it is. It works and looks so neat.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: you need to see | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Daylight Savings Explained

Posted on March 4, 2016 by pauldelancey

Dear Mr. Explainer,GrandfatherClock

We set our clocks forward one hour on March 13. So we lose an hour. But then we get it back on November 6 when we set our clocks back one hour? Where does that hour go for all those months? Does it goes to a parallel universe to visit all those socks that disappear from our clothes dryer? Did I even spell “dryer” correctly? What is the point of swapping an hour for an hour?

– Eduardo Salinas Albondigas, baffled as hell.

Dear Mr. Hell,

Daylights savings is kinda like investing in a certificate of deposit, you put in a dollar at 4% for 238 days to get back $1.0259039*. Same here, you put in one hour of sleep at 4% and get back 1.0259039 hours. So, in the fall, you get one day that’s 24,0259039 hours long. That means you receive an extra 1.55432 minutes of sleep that day.** Perhaps just long enough to transform you from an ever-the-edge grumpy non-morning person axe murderer to a mere under-the-edge grumpy non-morning person.

Check it out, the murder rate will plummet on November 6. Oh, and don’t travel out of America that day. The other countries do not get that extra 1.55432 minutes of rest and so, will be murdering each other with axes. And who wants to be around that?

  • Mr. Explainer

* = CDs that accept deposits of $1 and have maturity lengths of 238 are notoriously hard to find.
** = November 6 is officially still 24 hours 0 minutes long. All clocks and watches in America stop for 1.55432 minutes at 2 am.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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