And so do I. Don’t you want to pet it? And with a photo, there’s no fiercely protective, real life mama tiger around. So it’s all good.
You need to see #27
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Yoga Instructor #6
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
INGREDIENTS
1½ tablespoons olive oil
1 white onion
3 garlic cloves
2 stalks green onion
3 cups cooked brown rice
2 15-ounce cans small red beans
1 15-ounce can unsweetened coconut milk
1 tablespoon brown sugar
1 teaspoon allspice
½ teaspoon thyme
½ teaspoon sea salt
¼ teaspoon pepper
PREPARATION
Cook rice as directed on package.
Drain cans of red beans. Mince white onion, garlic cloves, and green onion. Heat oil in pot. Add white onion, garlic, and green onion. Cook on medium-low heat until white onion is soft and is starting to turn golden.
Add rice, beans, coconut milk, brown sugar, allspice, thyme, salt, and pepper. Cook for about 15 minutes on medium-low heat until rice absorbs most of the coconut milk. The rice and beans should be moist.
This dish can be made as spicy as you want. Jamaicans often add Scotch bonnet pepper which is one of the hottest peppers in the world. This spice is also hard to find.
TIDBITS
1) Jamaicans like to cook with allspice.
2) Swedes like to cook with allspice.
3) The Mayans of Mexico built vast stone temples and cities. They were superb ancient astronomers.
4) The Mayans also loved allspice.
5) My grandmother always cooked with allspice.
6) Eva, a Swedish friend of my mother, said allspice was, “nature’s spice.”
7) Where did this tidbit go?
8) The evidence has amounted to such a point that we must conclude that ancient mariners carried themselves and allspice all over Europe and North America.
9) But in which direction? America to Europe or vice versa?
10) There is no evidence that ancient Mayans or Jamaicans ever crossed the Atlantic Ocean.
11) However, there is considerable evidence through sagas and the unearthed remains of a Viking village in L’Anse Aux Meadows, Newfoundland that Vikings visited and settled the New World.
12) Thus, we must conclude that the Caribbean and the eastern part of North America were not only discovered and populated by ancient Swedes, but were culinarily enhanced as well.
13) The discoverer of America was Leif Ericson.
14) My grandmother’s name was Erickson.
15) My ancestors discovered America.
16) My it’s been a long time in the hot kitchen.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
From your friends in customer service. This time it was the government.
Fancy all those people who couldn’t get a reply via email, wanting to call.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
This struggle is eternal with me.
Angry Man #18
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
INGREDIENTS
PIZZA CRUST (If you have a bread maker or buy at store)
3 cups all-purpose flour
1 cup water
2 ½ tablespoons vegetable oil
¾ teaspoon sugar
¾ teaspoon salt
2 ½ teaspoons active dry yeast
no-stick cooking spray
TOPPING
1 cup or ½ pound ground beef
1 teaspoon cumin
½ small onion
⅓ green bell pepper
½ cup diced green chile
1 cup diced tomatoes in sauce
1 cup grated Four Mexican cheeses.
Pasta sauce (½ cup or more)
SPECIAL UTENSIL
pizza pan
PREPARATION OF PIZZA CRUST
Measure out the flour and set aside. Pour the water into the bread maker. If you measure the water before the flour, the flour will stick to the sides of the measuring cup. Egads!
Add oil, sugar, salt, and yeast to the bread maker. Do not put the yeast directly on top of the salt. Salt is bad for yeast and yeast makes the dough rise.
Set the timer or the menu on the bread maker to “Dough.” Wait the required time, probably a bit more than an hour. In the meantime, organize your tax-receipts, preheat the oven to 400 degrees and liberally spray the pizza pan with no-stick spray. This will prevent the crust from forming a glue-like bond with the pan.
Take the dough out of the bread maker and roll it out until the dough covers the pizza pan. If you do not possess a rolling pin, any food can will do as long as it is at least 6 inches tall. It is best to spray the can or coat it with a thin layer of flour before spreading the dough.
After rolling, let the dough sit and rise for 30-to-60 minutes. Preheat oven to 400 degrees.
PREPARATION OF TOPPING
While the bread maker is making the dough, dice the onion (Does anyone juggle onions professionally?) and green pepper. Don’t liquefy them. The green and white of these ingredients along with the red of the tomatoes will give you the colors of the Mexican flag. Olé.
Cook the ground beef on medium-high heat until it is no longer pink. Taste and see if you want to add more spice.
Apply tomatoes in sauce to pizza crust slowly and spread evenly until you have a thin layer of sauce over the whole pizza. Remove any excess as too much sauce will make your pizza soggy.
Spoon ground beef, onion, bell pepper, chile, tomatoes, and cheeses evenly over the pizza.
Bake pizza for about 20 minutes or until cheese is golden brown. Depending on the efficiency of your oven you will probably want to check your pizza after 12 minutes and every few minutes after that.
Arriba. Arriba.
TIDBITS
1) The ancient Greeks covered their bread with oil, herbs, and cheese.
2) The first time I saw Mexican pizza was about ten years ago at a Taco Bell(tm).
3) Cinco de Mayo, May 5, celebrates a Mexican victory over a French army. It is a minor holiday in Mexico. However, in America, it has become a major “Drink Mexican Beer” day.
4) My birthday is May 5. When I was little, I was always quite grateful to Mexicans everywhere for celebrating my birthday. One of the greatest illusions of my life. I still hang onto this one, a little.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Dave Cornelius always thought that the hymn “Up From The Grave He Arose” was about gravy. It does make the hymn sound ominous.
Thanks to Dave Cornelius for sharing this misheard hymn title.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
I really thought for the longest time that the Glory Be to the Father prayer started with the following words:
Misheard #3
Apparently, the word “shouting” was really “shall be” all along. I must say that changes the meaning somewhat. God doesn’t literally think we’re all hard of hearing. Though perhaps methaphorically,
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Heck no, I wont make this.
INGREDIENTS
Dried cod
Lye
Water
Other stuff
PREPARATION
No! No, a thousand times, no. I will not give you a recipe for lutefisk. You bought my cookbook. I have a warm and fuzzy feeling for you. So, look at the ingredients. Lye is a poison.
Furthermore, lutefisk assaults the senses as no other widespread dish. It looks like glue or broiled phlegm; there is some debate on this. It smells like, like, a rat dried under the furnace supplying central heating. It has the texture of boogers. It tastes like fermented cod-liver oil. Fortunately, lutefisk cannot speak.
When I was little, my mother made me eat lutefisk to show what she had to go through when she was small. My grandmother fed lutefisk to my mother to show what she had to go through when she was little girl. My grandmother’s parents left Sweden in the 1880s to get away from lutefisk.
Vikings raided Europe with unparalleled ferocity stoked by lutefisk meal after lutefisk meal in the homeland. Many thousands of them never came back.
There are more disgusting dishes than lutefisk, but they are little known and regional. Let’s pray they stay that way.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
And so do I.
You need to see #26
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
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