Please Tell Me of a User-Friendly Cell Phone

My cell phone stinks to high heaven. It is superb at doing random things it wants to do. Doing what I want to do . . .

not so much.

I want a cell phone to do the following:

1) I want it to work all the time.

2) I want it to work all the time.

3) I want it to work all the time.

In particular, I DON”T WANT IT TO DO:

1) Switch to RTT mode when I’m talking. I have never nor will I ever want to text people while I’m talking to them.

2) Switch to random screens when I’m trying to do something else, anything else. This happens all the time.

3) Prevent me from hanging up after a misdial. As of now, the only way to stop this is to hang up and restart.

4) Freeze. This happens all the times. Again, as of now, the only way to stop this is to hang up and restart.

5) Randomly disconnect.

In particular, I WANT IT TO DO:

1) I want it to dial correctly the first time everytime.

2) Make it easier to see if I have voice mail.

3) Make texting easy. Making it easier to type the key I want, not one near it.

4) Make using Google Maps easy.

5) Nothing else. If my cell phone just doesn’t do the five things I want it not to do and only the four things I do want it to do, I shall be ecstatic. I prefer a relatively inexpensive phone, but if the only workable cell phone is one that’s expensive, then please tell that too. My current phone makes me so miserable.

Please help. I’m so miserable. Thank you,

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D. (but not with cell phones)

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.