How many times has this happened to you? You’ve been scrupulously minding your own business when suddenly you acquire a country, a province, or a city. How did you end up with such an expanse of land and the people, economies, and possibly nuclear weapons that go along with it?
Perhaps you inherited it. Did you think to ask your parents, “Will you be leaving me a country?” I suggest you do so.
Perhaps you won it on Let’s Make a Deal(tm). Two of the doors had a garter snake behind them and the other door had a document giving you ownership of a country whose flag is blue and white. You picked door #1. Monte Hall shows you door #3 with the garter snake. He then asks you if you stay with the door you had originally picked or will you know pick door #2. You switch your pick, because you now know the chance of winning a country will be 2/3, whereas if you stay with the first door your odds of winning will only be 1/3. And ha,ha, you are rewarded with your very own country.
Perhaps you earned the little land with your frequent-flyer miles? You flew a lot, didn’t you?
Perhaps you simply saw the deed to the country on a sidewalk and picked it up.
So, there you have it. You’ve yourself a new country. But won’t the once old country be angry at you? You betcha! Won’t they be chomping at the bit to regaing their independence? Absolutely. Can they do it? Yes, if they ally with some powerful nation, or huge hedge fund, and attack you.
That is the nightmare scenario. The only way to stop this coalition from forming against you is to fool the world into thinking your country isn’t new; that it’s really part of either an old and peaceful nation or portfolio. How do you do this?
Simple, pick a flag that looks like the one from another country, province, or city. How do you do that?
May I suggest limiting the colors of your new flag to comforting blue and white? There are, as of presstime, seven wonderful countries, and one entire world!, that use only blue and white in their banners. Here are my favorite blue-and-white flags in order of coolness and power. And you know the saying, “Comforting and powerful flags, comforting and powerful lands.”
1. The United Nations
The United Nations has flag sports a map of the world surrounded by two olive branches that symbolize peace . The world and the olive branches are both encompassed by a lot of blue. This blue represented the world’s sky, the world’s oceans, or blueberries; I’m not sure. The white color for the lands refer to the white blood cells, that we all have and that crush invading illnesses.
You really can’t go wrong with owning the entire world. You could do anything you wanted, like going to the head of all the lines of Disneyland(tm). Because you possess nuclear weapons and stuff.
2. Martinique
Martinique’s flag is by far the coolest of the blue-and-whites. It has four whites snakes on it, each enclosed in a pool of blue water. These are your body guards. People will never give you any guff, when they know can you release your snakes at the snap of a finger. And wouldn’t you like to live in a guff-free world.
3. Micronesia
Micronesia’s is wonderful in its simplicity. The four stars stand for its four big islands. The blue background represents the Pacific Ocean that connects that or my blueberries. The four stars also invoke the image of a baseball diamond. If you crave simplicity, island paradises, blue oceans lapping at your beach, and blueberries, then this is the country for you.
4. Honduras
Honduras went for the ever popular three horizontal bar theme. A country that makes a safe choice for its flag will be a safe nation to rule. The two blue bars represent the equals sign. Honduras chose the equals sign because they hold everyone to be equal and because the country is simply mathematics mad. The five stars refer to the answer to word problem 14.
5. Finland
Finland plonked down for the blue cross on a white background. The cross refers to the land’s christian heritage. All other Scandanavian countries did the same. Finland picked last, that’s why it picked blue. The white background represents the snow that covers much of the country much of the time. The intersecting blue bars also refer to road intersections. Finland is justly proud of its intersections. If you desire to drive your car in the snow, then, by all means, rule Finland.
6. Shetland
Look at the above flag for Finland. Shetland’s flag is the photo negative of Finland. Culinary flagologists tell us the Shetlanders have to do everything the exact opposite of the Finnish. And vice versa. Except for blueberries, the people of both nations love blueberries. Hence the use of blue in their flags
7. Israel
The star in the middle is the Star of David, a Jewish symbol since the Middle Ages. The two blue horizontal stripes on a white background derive from the traditional Jewish prayer shawl. The color blue represents blueberries and the small blue tassels that male Jews should carry.
8. Greece
Greece’s flag combines the three most popular flag ingredients: the cross, bars, and a love of blueberries. It has it all.
9. Somalia
The theme of Somalia is simplicity, simplicity, simplicity. One white star to represent a white star and a blue background to represent the ocean and blueberries.
Now you know the world’s blue flags. Maybe someday you’ll visit the nations their represent.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
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