Deep Thought Man has been away for a while. He ponders the secrets of the universe so intently that he often takes the wrong fork in the road and has to backtrack quite a bit.
Deep Thought Man #16
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
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I took a shower and washed my hair. Things went down from there.
I labored over a spreadsheet for a few hours. An innocent typo let the metaphorical spreadsheet-hating camel poke its nose into the tent. Soon the entire camel was rolling into the spreadheet. And a spreadsheet-covered camel is of no good whatsoever. Have you heard of camel-spreadsheet wrestling? No, I didn’t think so.
So, I had to restore a previous version and redo all my work. Two hours, my battered and bruised brain and fingers had produced a spreadsheet fit to show to an admiring world. But the effort had me questioning the meaning of life. I took solace in philosophy and in a coffee drink.
I drove to Joann’s fabric store. After conversing some time with the help I finally found the latch-hook section. It was tiny. The latch-hook mat patterns were overdone, guffy, and icky. I gave the two 40% off a single purchase coupons I had printed to two wandering customers.
I drove to Michael’s. After an exhausting search, I found no latch-hook section. I looked for a while for an employee. I found none. They were as rare as two perfect games in the same game. I went to checkout. Surely, I would find help there. No one was there. After a few minutes, a customer came to buy her things. She said that the cashier had gone t0 help someone elsewhere. I waited some more. The store’s one employee didn’t come back while I was there.
I went to the grocery store. Got some things. I went home and took a nap.
I am currently trying t0 make brown bread in loaf pans. It doesn’t look like it will turn out well.
Good grief. It’s just as well I don’t actually own a sonic obliterator.
I do hope you’re behaving out there.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
I got up and did finances.
I started soaking pinto beans for Beans Soup. I diced and minced lots of things, mostly cabbage though, for Chow Chow, a Southern relish. I then let it marinate.
I did all sorts of grocery shopping, ate lunch, and worked on my latch-hook project with the Crochet Club. I drove home.
I defused the Filipino-Icelander border dispute by pointing out to them that they didn’t share a border.
I washed a lot of dishes. Worked like a maniac making Chow Chow and Beans Soup. These dishes were a bit hit with the natives. I cleaned more dishes during lulls in the preparation.
I’m going to lie down for a while. My back hurts from all that standing.
Behave yourselves while I’m resting.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
The natives and I went to San Diego’s Safari Park on Thursday. We took the tram ride that goes through the middle of the park. While we were riding, Jerry and Gerri Giraffe came up to see us. We spent our time in pleasant conversation. But all too soon, the tram started up again. I bid them adieu. They promised to follow my doings on my blog. We exchanged Facebook(tm) addresses and with that our tram took off. What a pleasant pair of giraffes!
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
You can’t spot the guacamole stain.
How many times has this happened to you? You’re dead tired, but you went to that party anyway. Your gracious host served a tableful of wonderfully tasty Mexican food. And the guacamole was to die for.
And now, you oaf, you spilled some heavenly guacamole on your cloud-white shirt. No one’s seen it yet, but in moments they will. And you will die of shame. You yearn to escape out the door. Your conscience won’t let you. You know you’re likely to crash your car if you drive away. There’s only one thing to do. Get sleep now. But if you go to sleep on a bed, people will notice. They’ll point at you and wake you up with their laughter. “Ha, ha,” they’ll say in unison, “look at Sleeping Beauty. Look at the guacamole stain. What a loser.”
But it doesn’t have to be this way.
Not if you buy your clothes from Food Stain Apparel(tm). Our matching set of Rock the Guac(tm) matching set of shirt and pants is just the thing for this social setting. This green, surfing Batman and Robin(tm) camouflage ensemble hides any amount of guacamole. As far as your fellow revelers know, you have the adept fingers of a concert violinist.
And don’t worry about falling asleep in a bed. We’ve designed our Rock the Gauc evening wear to mimic pajamas! Our PJs blend right in with the bed. Wake up the next morning refreshed and happy. People will talk for years to come about that bon vivant violinist.
Be rested. Be confident. Buy Food Stain Apparel.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Preach, yoga instructor, preach.
Yoga instructor #18
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
I preserve my potatoes by wrapping them in a paper towel and putting them in a Twinkies(tm) box which sits on top of the refrigerator.
Where do you keep your potatoes?
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Well no, not really. The whole customer-service process is designed to drive us crazy enough to hang up. I say when you lose your cool, lose it completely like in the picture below. Not only will you get through; you’ll also feel proud about yourself. Go get ’em, Tiger!
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Now there’s:
Hee, hee, I’m so mature.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
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