Posts Tagged With: shampoo

Strawberry Shampoo

Posted on August 6, 2024 by pauldelancey

STRAWBERRY SHAMPOO

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INGREDIENTS
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½ cup Castile Soap
2 teaspoons coconut oil
½ cup distilled water
15 drops strawberry fragrance oil
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SPECIAL UTENSIL
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1 cup bottle
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PREPARATION
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Add all ingredients to bottle. Stir with fork, or shake, until well blended.
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TIDBITS
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1) This shampoo uses strawberry fragrance oil.
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2) The medium-sized cargo box for Ford’s F150 can haul 59,653 medium sized strawberries.
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3) However Uranus, which is much larger than the F150’s cargo box or even this entire truck, occupies the same space as 2.31 * 1027 strawberries.
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4) From this we can deduce that 3.87 * 1022 F150 medium sized cargo beds can fit in Uranus.
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5) You didn’t think Uranus was that big, did you?
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6) NASA never divulges this information.
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7) Our space agency doesn’t even show us Santa Claus’ path on Christmas Eve. Just another thing they keep to themselves..
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8) However NORAD, North American Aerospace Defense Command,  does on noradsanta.org.
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9) Well! I know which agency is getting chocolate chip cookies for Christmas and which isn’t.
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10) In flagrantre dilecto is Latin for “Getting caught in the act of committing a crime.” However, In flagrantre oderem means getting caught in the act of adding a fragrance to something.
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11) Knowing all these awesome tidbits will give you a leg up, should you ever compete on Jeopardy!
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Vanilla Shampoo

Posted on April 21, 2024 by pauldelancey

VANILLA SHAMPOO

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INGREDIENTS
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½ cup Castile Soap
2 teaspoons coconut oil
½ cup distilled water
12 drops vanilla essential oil
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SPECIAL UTENSIL
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1 cup, or larger, bottle
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PREPARATION
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Add all ingredients to bottle. Stir with fork, or shake, until well blended.
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TIDBITS
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1) “Vanilla Shampoo” is an anagram for “vanilla shampoo.”
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2) Fun fact: All words, or phrases, are anagrams of themselves. Culinary beauticians call these “first-order anagrams.”
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3) Second-order anagrams actually rearrange the letters. As an example, the second-order anagram for “twelve plus one” is “eleven plus two.”
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4) Don’t forget, an anagram for “Aloha salmon VIP” is “Vanilla Shampoo.”
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5) Try these anagrams at parties. Nothing but good can come from liberally sprinkling you conversations with these witticisms. People will admire your intellect and you become the life of the party. Vivacious, beautiful people will want to date you. Corporate executives will fall over themselves trying to hire you. Or . . .
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6) Partygoers will have heard these anagrams before. (I mean, what are the odd? Right?) In this case, the revelers will leave you alone. Take this reaction to grab some tasty hors d’oeuvres as you make your unnoticed exit.
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7) Dart back inside. Fit as many shrimps as you can into your Tupperware(tm) container. (You should always carry one.) As you zip out again, defiantly yell, “Hors d’oeuvre doesn’t need to be italicized as it has become an accepted part of our language.” That’ll teach them for shunning you.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: shampoo | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

What I Did Today

Posted on March 21, 2024 by pauldelancey

I didn’t invade.

Woke up at 4:40 am with cold feet. I had kicked off the blanket in my sleep. I suppose I could have been be proud of the achievement as I had had a heavy blanket on top of me. And a gigantic headache. I don’t recomend starting the day this way. Couldn’t do much of anything around the house as I didn’t want to wake anyone. And at this hour, there was nothing I wanted to do on the internet

Got up, showered, and dressed. It’s important to do this in the right order. I also shampooed, It’s critical to live large every now and then.

I woke up super tired. Had a coffee drink. Then another, This is rare. Sliced onion, carrots, and potatoes. Put these ingredients and corned beef into two crock pots. Started the slow cooking

Picked up a friend. Then we went to the dentist for x-rays and teeth cleaning. I know! Fun.

Drove home. Got back just in time to invade Texas. What can I say? I love brisket.

But I fell asleep. When I woke, Texas’ invasion hours were over.

Sliced cabbage. Put cabbage in slow cookers. Slow cooked for another 45 minutes. (Not me, the food,)

The natives loved the corned beef meal.

Well, that’s enough excited for today. Must learn to pace myself.

Au revoir.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

Categories: what I did | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Nigerian Kuli Kuli (peanut balls)

Posted on May 27, 2013 by pauldelancey

Nigerian appetizer

KULI-KULI
(Peanut balls)

INGREDIENTSKuliKuli-

2 1/4 cups roasted peanuts
1/2 onion
1/2 tablespoon peanut oil (2 cups more later)
3/4 teaspoon cayenne
1/2 tablespoon ginger
1/4 cup water
2 cups peanut oil
3/4 teaspoons baking soda

SPECIAL EQUIPMENT

food processor
kitchen towel
kitchen mallet or any hard object
wok or deep fryer or skillet

PREPARATION

Crush, blend, spindle, grind, disintegrate, and heartily vex peanuts in food processor until peanuts cry uncle and become a crumbly paste resembling peanut butter. Mince onions. Put 1/2 tablespoon peanut oil in frying pan. Add onion. Sauté on medium-high heat until onion becomes soft. Remove oil from sautéed onions with paper towels.

It is important to get as much moisture as you can out of the peanut paste. Put peanut paste in bottom middle of kitchen towel. Roll up towel as tight as you can. Press on rolled up towel as hard as you can with something hard such as a cutting board or kitchen mallet. Repeat 2 more times.

Add peanut paste, sautéed onions, cayenne, and ginger to mixing bowl. Add water slowly until there is just enough to make a uniformly moist paste.

Add two cups of peanut oil to wok. Use high heat to make oil hot, or 375 degrees on skillet. Add baking soda. While peanut oil heats, form 1-1/2″ to 2″ inch balls. (Flatten balls if using skillet.) Put peanut balls in wok. Fry for 1 minute or until peanut balls turn golden brown.

Cool and serve.

TIDBITS

1) Did you know that peanuts are often used as an ingredient in explosives?

2) Explosives?!

3) Looks carefully at peanut-butter sandwich.

4) Puts it down carefully.

5) Runs toward bed to calm down.

6) Realizes potentially explosive peanuts are in stomach.

7) Slows down.

8) Sits carefully on bed.

9) Wonders what are the other ingredients one needs to add to peanuts to make a WMD.

10) Thinks about the jar of unsalted, raw peanuts in pantry.

11) Is family at risk?

12) Remembers peanuts as also used an ingredients in: detergent, salves, bleach, ink, axle grease, face creams, soap, linoleum, rubber, cosmetics, paint, shampoo, medicine, and shaving cream.

13) Has a shave.

14) Saves family.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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