Posts Tagged With: news

Ups and Downs

Posted on January 23, 2025 by pauldelancey

I’m rhe Emperor

The day started off well. I played free-bingo at a senior’s center. I got my first bingo and won a big, glass beer mug. The lunch afterward was good, surprisingly good for institutional food. Then things went downhill. I’m tired and my back hurts. So this is all the news I’m giving today.

Oh, I almost forgot. I repaid the Martian invasion with one of my own. I’m now Emperor of Mars. Cool.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

 

Categories: about me | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Misread News Item #2, The Earth

Posted on July 30, 2023 by pauldelancey

I misread the following news title today:

“Earth Has Tilted 31.5 Inches. That Shouldn’t Happen.”
– Popular Mechanics, July 13, 2023

I really thought for an instant that the sentence went as below. I was quite worried for a bit. Wouldn’t climates and weather patterns be affected Alaska could become the new North Pole. The new one, Alaska, would never melt from global warming. Santa Claus wouldn’t have to worry about his workshop falling into the ocean. Besides, Santa would become American. USA! USA!

Misread title #2

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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Misread News Item

Posted on July 29, 2023 by pauldelancey

I misread the following news title today:

“A 46,000-year-old worm found in Siberian permafrost was brought back to life, and started having babies”
– Business Insider, July 28, 2023

I really thought for an instant that the sentence went as below. My misreading immediately conjured up startling images.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Exciting News From 1995

Posted on May 14, 2021 by pauldelancey

 

I still find it astonishing that Russia, for a brief period in 1994, was unable to launch its nuclear missiles. Also consider that squirrels have three times brought down NASDAQ, a stock exchange, by chewing into its power cables.  Combine those two facts. Get squirrels to gnaw into the powerline between Moscow Electric and Russia’s nuclear arsenal. Get those critters to knock out Putin’s ablility to nuke the USA.

Or perhaps the Pentagon already has such plans. And they’re secret. Oopsie.

The other bits of news shown on the page on the right remain interesting in their own right. Particularly the one at the bottom.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

Categories: apocalyptic, history, humor, observations | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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