I mean every single episode.
Wanda Wunder #41
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Austrian Entree
INGREDIENTS
4 6-ounce veal cutlets
1 teaspoon pepper
1 teaspoon salt
2 eggs
1¾ cups flour
12 ounces lard or butter
1⅓ cups breadcrumbs
1 lemon
SPECIAL UTENSIL
kitchen mallet
3 mixing bowls
PREPARATION
Chill veal cutlets in ice water. This keeps the cutlets’ juice inside when immersed in the hot lard. Use kitchen mallet to pound veal cutlets until they are ¼” thick. Put cutlets, pepper, and salt on platel. Turn veal in bowl until well coated with pepper and salt. Add eggs to first mixing bowl. Beat eggs with whisk. Add flour to second mixing bowl. Add breadcrumbs to third mixing bowl.
Dip veal cutlet into bowl with flour. Coat cutlet with flour. Dip cutlet in bowl with eggs. Coat cutlet with eggs. Dip cutlet in bowl with breadcrumbs. Dredge cutlet through bowl of bread crumbs. Repeat for each veal cutlet.
Add ¼th of the lard, 3 ounces, at a time to pan. Melt lard using medium heat. Add coated veal cutlet, Wiener schniztel, to pan. Sauté each side using medium heat for 2-to-4 minutes or until golden brown. Remove schnitzel to plate. Gently press both sides of schnitzel with paper towel. Repeat for each coated veal cutlet. Cut lemon into 4 slices. Top each schnitzel with lemon slice.
TIDBITS
1) Belgium produces more types of bricks than any other nation. Austria doesn’t make nearly as many bricks. This might be because a legendary Austrian bricklayer murdered his seven wives.
2) The Weiner schnitzel is not a brick, it is a tasty entree and by Austrian law, Weiner schnitzels must be made with veal (Notice the neat segue?)
3) In 1987, Austria, in an attempt to catch Belgium, established the National Brick Variety Research Center. It has not done well;, attracting Austria’s best minds away from culinary enforcement has been difficult.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Nicaraguan Entree
INGREDIENTS
1 medium onion (1 more onion later)
2 garlic cloves
2 tablespoons vegetable oil (2 tablespoons more later)
1½ cup white rice
3 cups vegetable or chicken broth
½ teaspoon salt
1 medium onion
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
1 pound cooked red beans (Drain if from can)
2 tablespoons fresh cilantro
PREPARATION
Mince 1 onion and garlic cloves. Add 2 tablespoons oil, 1 minced onion, and garlic cloves to pot. Sauté on medium-high heat or until onion softens Stir frequently. Add rice. Sauté rice for 3 minutes or until grains are shiny and coated with oil. Stir constantly. (Sautéing the rice will keep it from becoming mushy when boiled later.)
Add broth and salt. Bring to boil using medium-high heat until most of the liquid has evaporated and bubbles appear on surface of rice. Cover and reduce heat to warm. Simmer on warm for 15 minutes. Do not stir rice. (The rice can be prepared up to 24 hours in advance.)
While rice simmers, mince 1 onion and dice cilantro. Add 2 tablespoons vegetable oil and 1 minced onion to pan. Sauté on medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onion softens. Stir frequently. Add red beans and this batch of sautéed onion to pot. Cook on low-medium heat for 10 minutes. Stir occasionally. Garnish with cilantro.
TIDBITS
1) The people of Masaya celebrates the Festival of San Lazaro by dressing up their dogs in elaborate costumes and giving thanks at church for their pets good health.
2) By all means go to the towns of San Juan de Oriente, Diriá, and Diriomo for their fiestas. Their dancing warriors beat each other over the head with bulls’ penises.
3) There are no street names in Nicaragua! Addresses are given by referring to major land marks. My home would be three blocks south from the restaurant where I believe that guy got murdered a couple of decades ago. Then turn left at the first intersection past the one with traffic lights. I have an olive tree and a few cacti in front. Of course, you might get lost trying to find that restaurant. It happened long enough ago that most people don’t know about it. Let me know if you’re in the neighborhood and I’ll send up a flare.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
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