Posts Tagged With: milkman

Bring Back the Milkman

Often enough, I only need a half gallon of milk, four sticks of butter, or a pound of cheese. Sure I could drive to the store, but it hardly seems worthwhile for just a half gallon of milk when the whole process of driving to the supermarket, parking, finding the milk, checking out, leaving the parking lot, and driving home.

If only there were a simple, convenient way to buy a small amount of dairy. Oh wait, there was. We called him the milkman. We place an order on our door step and he’d bring it from the stores of his truck.

Easy peasy.

And quite often the milkman brought other products as well. Here’s what I remember about the milkmen from the various towns of my youth.

Arcadia, California: The milk truck brought milk and I believe butter.

Earlwood, Australia: The milk truck brought milk and I believe butter and eggs.

Voorburg, Netherlands: The milk truck carried: milk, eggs, cheese, cans of soups, soda, and beer! I believe the milkman also delivered juice and jams.

I want a milkman who will bring all the items his counterpart in the Netherlands did. I want it! I want it!

Going to the store takes too long, cars are driven by nuts, and the stores are far too peoply.

I am willing to pay more for this service than from stores. I worked and saved all my life so I can now afford this service to my door.

Please make this happen. Thank you.

And please also let me know what your milkman delivered? Thanks again.

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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: about me, cuisine, observations | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I Simplify Jigsaw Puzzles

Jigsaw puzzles can be lots of fun.  Finishing them elicits effusive praise from guests. Completing the puzzle makes your spouse respect you for the first time in months. “You completed a project. Well done!”

However, puzzle solving can take hours, dozens of hours, and even dozens of weeks, if you even finish. Yep, you’ll probably give up. Your latest failure will drive her to desert you. Her farewell note of “You clod, I’ve run off with the milkman” will be all the more hurtful for the fact that your neighborhood hasn’t had a milkman in 40 years.

And if you stick to your puzzle quest, no matter the cost, chances are there will be a missing piece. Where did the piece go? Is it hiding somewhere on the floor, did it migrate to your sock drawer, or did your puzzle box simply have a piece missing? No matter, it’s missing. You won’t regain your mate’s love and adoration.

He: You didn’t finish the puzzle.
You: I did. All but one piece.
He: Like I haven’t heard that one before.

And then he leaves, claiming to go to the store to buy a particle accelarator. He doesn’t come back. Your life is bereft of joy. Well mostly, you do look forward to not picking up his socks anymore.

What’s the solution? A one-piece puzzle! Everyone of us finish that. And quickly, too. No more looking at a box of 1,000 pieces and guessing if they are all there. Buy the one-piece puzzle. We can all count to one. Yes we can.

Look below to see the one-piece puzzle I just completed..

1 piece puzzle of the world.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: I simplify | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Lagman – Kyrgyztani Lamb Stew

Kyrgyztani Entree

LAGMAN
(lamb stew)

INGREDIENTSLagman-

1 pound wide homemade noodles or pre-made lasagna noodles
1 pound lamb or beef
4 garlic cloves
2 onions
3 tablespoons vegetable oil
1 carrot
2 red bell peppers
3 tomatoes
1 turnip
4 cups lamb or beef stock
¼ teaspoon pepper
¼ teaspoon salt
¼ teaspoon red pepper flakes
¼ cup fresh parsley

SPECIAL UTENSIL

Dutch oven

Makes 6-to-8 bowls. Takes 1 hour.

PREPARATION

Cut lamb into ½” cubes. Dice garlic. Cut onions, carrot, red bell peppers, tomatoes, and turnip into thin slices. Add garlic, onion, and vegetable oil to Dutch oven. Sauté at medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onion softens. Stir frequently. Add lamb cubes. Sauté for 3 minutes or until lamb browns. Stir frequently. Add lamb stock, veggies, pepper, and salt. Bring to boil using high heat. Stir occasionally. Cover and reduce heat to low. Simmer for 30 minutes, stirring stew occasionally. While stew simmers, cook noodles according to instructions on package. Add noodles to bowls. Ladle in stew. Garnish with red pepper flakes and parsley.

TIDBITS

1) Just where do you get just ¼ cup of fresh parsley? Or four lettuce leaves? A half bell pepper? One-inch of gingerroot? Not from your local supermarket. They all carry in bulk these days, stocking entire lettuce heads. And just try ripping off a couple cabbage leaves in the produce section. It will draw attention. A Lot of attention. Expect to see flashing blue lights outside the store.

2) What to do? Buy from your door-to-door spiceman. There aren’t many left. He needs your business. Don’t let him disappear. You’ll miss him like you do the long gone milkman.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, humor | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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