Posts Tagged With: collard greens

Collard Greens

Posted on January 25, 2025 by pauldelancey

American Appetizer

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SLOW COOKER COLLARD GREENS

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INGREDIENTS
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2 pounds collard greens
1 onion
2 tablespoons apple cider vinegar
1 tablespoon brown sugar
3 garlic cloves
2 ham hocks
½ teaspoon pepper
1 teaspoon red pepper flakes
1 teaspoon salt
5 cups water
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SPECIAL UTENSILS
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2 3-quart slow cookers or 1 6-quart slow cooker
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Serves 6. Takes 6 hours 40 minutes.
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PREPARATION
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Cut collard greens into 1″ squares. Dice onion. Add all ingredients to slow cookers. Arrange ingredients so that ham hocks are in the middle. Slow cook on high for 6 hours. Remove ham hock. Remove meat from ham hocks and add to pot. (Discard ham hock.) Stir or until well blended.  Goes well with fried chicken, pork chops, pulled-pork sandwiches, macaroni and cheese and corn bread.
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TIDBITS
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1) This recipe says to collard greens into 1″ squares.
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2) This can be difficult to do as collard-green leaves are not squares.
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3) And if you strive for perfection ,such cutting becomes even harder. You’d have to get out your ruler. Moreover, making completely accurate 90 degrees angle for each square would drive any chef to drink. If you’re a teetotaler, may suggest near beer, or root beer, as your choice?
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4) Now we get to the collard greens’ overwhelming laziness and lack of ambition.
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5) Sure, you could watch television with your bowl of collard greens.
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6) But they will never help you with your crossword puzzles. The only way you could play catch with a bunch of collard greens is to dig a hole, and put the collard greens in the hole. Then toss the baseball into the hole. But even then the collard greens will not toss the ball back to you. This game of catch must be quite short. They will, however, be good listeners while they remain ripe.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

Categories: cuisine, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Jackfruit Curry (Polos Curry)

Posted on July 8, 2023 by pauldelancey

Sri Lankan Entree

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JACKFRUIT CURRY

(Polos Curry)

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INGREDIENTS
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1 pound canned jackfruit*, drained
3 green chiles
3 garlic cloves
1 onion
2 tablespoons coconut oil or vegetable oil
½ teaspoon cumin seeds
½ teaspoon fennel seeds
½ teaspoon fenugreek seeds
½ teaspoon mustard seeds
1 tablespoon chili powder
½ tablespoon diced ginger
½ teaspoon pepper
1½ tablespoons roast curry powder* or curry powder
½ teaspoon turmeric
2″ cinnamon stick
3 collard green leaves or 2 pandan* leaves
6 curry leaves
1⅓ cups coconut milk
1 tablespoon tamarind juice or goraka*
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* = Can be found in Asian supermarkets or online.
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Serves 2. Takes 1 hour 30 minutes.
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PREPARATION
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Cut jackfruit into strips 2″ long. Seed green chiles. Mince garlic and green chiles. Dice onion. Add coconut oil. Heat coconut oil using medium heat until a cumin seed starts to dance in the oil. Add cumin seeds, fennel seeds, fenugreek seeds, and mustard seeds. Sauté for 30 seconds or until seeds start to pop. Stir constantly.
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Add garlic, green chile, onion, chili powder, ginger, pepper, roast curry powder, turmeric, cinnamon stick, collard leaves, and curry leaves. Sauté for at medium heat for 4 minutes or until onion softens. Stir frequently.
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Add coconut milk, tamarind juice, and jackfruit pieces. Bring to boil using high heat. Stir frequently. Cover. Reduce heat to low and simmer for 1 hour or until jackfruit pieces turn brown and soften. Stir enough to prevent burning. Remove cinnamon stick. Goes well with rice.
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TIDBITS
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1) This entree, Jackfruit Curry, is a curry that uses jackfruit.
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2) We are indeed starting this tidbit series on solid ground.
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3) It is less well known that this dish also goes by the name of Polos Curry.
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4) Culinary historians tell us that this curry was named after Marco Polo. Hence, Polo’s Curry.
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5) How do we not know this? Unfortunately for foodies everywhere, Polo’s travelog, The Travels of Marco Polo, blew his recipe book out of the water.
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6) I mean, Venetians, Pisans, Genoese, other Italians, and Europeans, from well, all over Europe kept saying, “Ooh, ooh, I want to know about far-off Asia.” So, Polo’s travel tale sold thousands and thousands of copies.
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7) So, the European book readers generally blew their literature budget on The Travels of Marco Polo.
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7b) Just now, I made a small typo and added an “i” before the “o” in “polo” to get “polio.” That kinda changed the meaning of the previous tidbit a bit. Fortunately, I edited out the offending letter, so you would never know my mistake.
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8) Anyway, Polo’s great culinary masterpiece Ottimi Pasti del Gran Khan, or Great Meals of the Great Khan, gathered dust in the most hidden parts of just a few European bookstores.
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9) Marco dictated Ottimi Pasti del Gran Khan to Fabio Manzo who languished in the same Genoese jail.
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10) How did Manzo’s effort get relegated to the dustbin of history, while everyone knows of Marco Polo and only a dedicated group of introverts talk freely–that is if they could talk freely to people–of the not great, but still pretty good, Signore Manzo.
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11) Sure, Marco Polo dictated his travels to his other cell mate, Rustichello da Pisa. Okay, da Pisa rates a mention. But Fabio Manzo never rates a mention.
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12) Why is this so?
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13) Literary agents.
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14) Signores Polo and da Pisa hired literary agents. Polo has been famous for nearly a millennium. Da Pisa merits a footnote every now and then. However, penny-pinching, Manzo hired no one. He is literature’s most forgotten man.*
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15) * = See Time Magazine’s(tm) issue, The 100 Most Forgotten Names in Literature.
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16) However, while Manzo and Great Meals of the Great Khan remain largely forgotten, this cookbook can always be found on the shelves of all great chefs. Something to think about.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

­My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Brazilian Shredded Collard Greens

Posted on October 14, 2017 by pauldelancey

Brazilian Appetizer

SHREDDED COLLARD GREENS

INGREDIENTS

2 pounds collard greens (about 4 bunches)
4 garlic cloves
3½ tablespoons olive oil
½ teaspoon pepper
1 teaspoon salt

Serves 6. Takes 40 minutes.

PREPARATION

Wash collard greens. Remove the thick part of the stems. Bundle up 8 leaves at a time. Cut bundle crosswise into ¼” strips. Mince garlic cloves. Add olive oil to large pan. Sauté garlic on medium-high heat for 1 minute or until fragrant. Stir occasionally. Add collard greens. Reduce heat to medium and sauté for 5 minutes or until greens have started to wilt, but still are semi-firm. Stir frequently. Add pepper and salt. Stir until well blended.

TIDBITS

1) In Greek mythology, Ancient Earth was not peopled with people. It was horsed with horses. Zeus let the horses roam free with the stipulation that they never ate all the tacos from the Olympian taco truck.

2) But they did and Zeus was so angry for he loved the mighty taco. As who would not? So Zeus put green collars made from veggies on the horses and tied the beasts to trees. He could eat tacos again. And he was happy. So happy, in fact, that he created humans.

3) Zeus kept the gift of fire from the humans. People who knew how to use fire, would learn to make crispy shredded tacos. With that knowledge people would soon become powerful enough to overthrow Zeus. They would send him to clean restrooms in casinos for all eternity.

4) Then, on August 10th, Prometheus, the first poor sport, lost a game of ScrabbleTM to Zeus. Enraged, he set loose all the horses and gave fire to humanity. Zeus took his revenge on Prometheus, but it was not enough. Humanity soon dethroned him.

5) Right now, Zeus cleans men’s rooms at a casino in Monaco. Be sure to live him a small tip. He really is in a bad way. Oh my gosh, his apartment is tiny. It got a lot better for us humans, though. We learned how to make tacos and have become ever more advanced since them. Now you know.

Chef Paul

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Ifisashi From Zambia

Posted on January 2, 2015 by pauldelancey

Zambian Entree

IFISASHI

INGREDIENTSifisashi-

1 pound unsalted peanuts
1 onion
2 tomatoes
½ pound collard greens
½ pound spinach
1 small sweet potato
2 tablespoons peanut oil
1¾ cups water
¾ teaspoon salt

SPECIAL UTENSIL

Dutch oven

Makes 6 bowls. Takes about 45 minutes.

PREPARATION

Chop peanuts into fourths. Dice onion and tomatoes. Dice or shred collards greens and spinach. Peel and dice sweet potato.

Add onion and peanut oil to Dutch oven. Sauté onion on medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onion softens. Stir frequently. Add water. Bring water to boil on high heat. Stir occasionally. Reduce heat to medium. Add peanuts, tomato, and salt. Cook on medium heat for 5 minutes, stirring occasionally. Add collard greens, spinach, and sweet potato. Cook for about 15 minutes or until liquid thickens to a thick buttery sauce.

Ifisashi often is paired with nshima or cornmeal dumpling. Don’t panic over the nshima, ifisashi also goes well over rice.

TIDBITS

1) The sound of people snoring is often described as, “Zzzz..” Because of their pleasant climate, nighttime temperatures, and comfy beds, Zambia and Zimbabwe are the best places for pleasant, refreshing zzzs.

3) Indeed, The International Sleeping Association (IFA) awarded its highest honor possible to these two nations, the Order of The Z which gives the lucky land the right to rename themselves with a word starting with a z. Well done, Zambia, Zimbabwe.

4) Sad to say, in 1997 sleeping conditions in once restful Zaire deteriorated to the point that the IFA took away Zaire’s “Z.” This sad land now calls itself The Democratic Republic of the Congo.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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