I miss my Swedish grandma very much. She was kind and very attentive. The following is something she used to say.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
I am known for my simple ways. I cringe at every addition to our cell phones: additions that frequently turn out to be death by enhancement.
No, I like the simplicity of sunrises, kittens, and baking.
Baking involves measuring amounts of butter. The standard American stick of butter contains 8 tablespoons or ½ cup.
Fairly simple, right? But many recipes call for 4 tablespoons or ¼ cup of butter. The standard American butter stick does mark off every tablespoon. However, the wrapper for the butter is often off. So, when we cut the butter at what we think is ¼ tablespoons, we have actually sliced off maybe 4.23 tablespoons butter.
If only there were a simple way for simple souls to accurately measure 4 tablespoons of butter.
Now thanks to Land O Lakes(tm) I have butter sticks that measure 4 tablespoons.
A simple solution for a simple man, All is well. I am content.
An old-style 8 tablespoon stick is there for reference
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Three days ago, a tiny rock hit the windshield of my Honda 2023 HRV. This caused a crack that spread half-way across the windshield in less than one day. My wife and I went to the local Honda dealership and asked them to fix it. They did not. They said they could reorder the part. But there wouldn’t even be an approximate date for delivery. I asked what did that mean. Could it take two weeks to get the part? A month? More? I was told yes to all three.
I asked why I should ever buy Honda again.
Because everyone else is as bad as they are.
Now, there’s a slogan for you.
I said that the crack would soon be road illegal, that I had multiple doctor appointments coming up, including minor surgery. How was I supossed to go to all these appointments with an unsafe car? They basically said the same thing as I wrote in the first paragraph of this blog, but that I could call Honda National and asked for an expedited delivery, which would arrive in fewer days, although the actual number was still uncertain. Oh, and they blamed it all on supply disruptions, which I’m guessing for them started with the onset of Covid in 2020. How could they not have restored their supply lines in four years?!
I asked the dealership why they were doing nothing to help. They said they had, for they had given me a number to call.
Would they call their National Line for me?
No.
So we went to State Farm, our insurance company. My wife called the claims department. I asked if they could help get me a replacement windshield. Although they didn’t have to do so, they called a recommended company. Then I discussed what had been said on the phone call. My wife was still talking to claims. The man whom I had been talking to said since I was still there, he’d call the glass repair company again and ask more questions. (The company would replace the windshield at our home.) My wife said she was still trying to find out if the check for the insurance claim would be paid to Honda or to us. A woman in the office said that she knew that the check would be written to us.
Hooray for State Farm.
We called Citywide Auto Glass when we got home. They would indeed replace our windshield the next day between 1 and 5pm. Would they be using a Honda windshield? Yes they would? How could they get a windshield so quick? They got it from a local Honda dealership. How could they find a dealership that had one? They called around. Why couldn’t my local Honda and Honda national find this same windshield? Those Hondas wouldn’t call around. Would I void my warranty by having Citywide Auto Glass repair my windshield? No, Honda didn’t do this type of repair, they farmed out the work to companies like Citywide Auto Glass. The cost for the repair job was about $300 fewer than if Honda “had” fixed it. Yay, Citywide Auto Glass.
I’d also like to point out the lane sensor for my HRV is so often wrong, especially on mountain roads. Then there is the sensor for nearby cars on the sides. I was going up an onramp for a freeway. This onramp had almost no lead onto the freeway. There was a semi coming up on my left. This is, of course, exciting. The thing to do is speed up as fas as you can, as there is the side of the overpass on the right, and then move to the shoulder to the right. However, the Honda car sensor, sensed the semi and turned the wheels sharply to the right. If I had not successfully fought the change of the direction, I would have crashed into the side of the bridge and quite possibly. flipped over the railing and plunged down onto the road below. I have deactivated all their safety sensors and will never buy Honda again.
Well two companies will get my future business.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
My quarterback stunt double
I went to physical therapy today to get the muscles in my lower back and legs stretched. Indeed, I am making progress despite spectacular fall in the kitchen last night.
My tight muscles, tendons, thingies are, no doubt, I did not start as quarterback for ANY NFL team last weekend. And my prospects for playing this weekend are fading rapidly.
But I shall perservere. Soon you will, Paul “TD Man” De Lancey leading a lucky team to the Super Bowl. Go, Paul, go!
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Stunt Big Toe from Stunt Man
Seems difficult to do but I did. I warmed by spilling one cookie-dough round into the oven and few more on the floor.
Then . . .
I tripped on the part of the broiler that was sticking out by a little. But my left big toe managed to catch it. I fell/flew forward, twisted in mid-air and broke my fall with my left knee. Final damage: headache, twisted neck, twisted back, twisted left ankle, and throbbing left, big toe, and hurt left knee. I thought briefly that my big toe was broken, but it’s better now. Oh and I managed to pull the broiler drawer all the way open with my big toe.
You may say that baking is not a full-contact sport, but I respectfully disagree.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
The play, You’re a Big Man, Charlie Brown sold out so many performaces in 1967. It did so well that my fifth-grade teacher felt inspired to produce the play for Santa Anita Elementary. There were two shows. Each show had a completely different cast. The teacher, Mr. Schneider, cast me for the role of Snoopy.
Playing Snoopy required the actor to sing and dance.
1) I could not sing. I still cannot sing. I am tone deaf, well mostly.
2) I could not dance. I still have enormous problems moving my feet in time to the beat.
3) However, I could memorize lines and could be counted on to deliver them in front of an audience of parents and school kids.
But that was enough then to garner the coveted role of Snoopy.
Since, musical parts have been distressingly few and far between.
Life is hard. I flamed out early.
Even so, I still get dreams where I find myself on stage without ever being given my lines.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
My pantry, it’s organized
I want straight from sleeping in bed to fighting a website in order to schedule an MRI. It was much harder than it should have been.
Watched a squirrel run around outside my outside door. The therapeutic value of squirrels is immense. Also, it just so happens that the squirrels who hide in the hedges are veterans from Paul’s Flying Squirrel Squadron. They worked alongside our regular armed forces and did the jobs that are literally too small for our human service people to do. They have seen things no squirrel should have to see and performed mighty deeds for our country. I salute you, my furry warriors.
Four 8-cup Mason jars were delivered last night. So with a lilt in my heart, I further reorganized my shelves of flours, sugars, etc.
A well-earned bowl of strawberry Cheerios provided the sustenance I needed for my next project.
I completely reorganized the pantry. I know, such fun!
Now, I’m writing up my activities in the hopes that they’ll inspire you to peform your own deed of greatness. And dare I say it, impel you to meet up with me where we will knock back great steins of cranberry grape juice and sing the songs of our people until the police shoo us outside for causing a ruckus.
I will now take a bath–with bath bombs of course–and read a book about the worst modern teams in baseball.
And then at night, I’ll view the detective series Vera and Death Valley Days hosted by the Old Ranger.
You know you want to party with me.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
I started the day by contemplating the infinite. Having thusly penetrated all the secrets of the universe, I attempted a minor reorganization of the fridge. Why not? I was on a roll.
Space needed to be made in the fridge. Amelia Earhart* or Waldo could have been hiding there. Then for reasons I still don’t comprehend the reorganizing project spun wildly out of control. Soon, I found myself getting more effecient placement of all my cooking appliances. This naturally, led to reordering of about 50 jars of flours, salts, rices, etc. Contents of jars sitting quietly, minding their own business of the shelves suddenly found themselves funneled into a smaller jars.
Having opened the Pandora box of reorganization, I next tackled rearranging some 100 small containers of spices and herbs. Again, contents made their way into smaller bottles. A scant six hours later, I went back to the fridge and moved things around.
I took out my frustration by running. I did the mile in 3 minutes 20 seconds, which would have been a record, but no one was around to witness it. Bummer.
* = Can you spell Amelia Earhart?**
** = Oops, kinda made it easy, didn’t I?
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Number One Son and Number Two Son
Number Two Son recently passed his CPA exams. He celebrated his achievement by taking us to Mille Fleurs in Rancho Sante Fe, CA – a fancy restaurant in a fancy town. The atmosphere and the service was wonderful. I had been wondering about that restaurant for decades. Well done, Number Two Son.
– Paul De Lancey
I spent much of a day planning the first vacation in years. Then the whole family went out for dinner.
Fun and productive day.
I hope you all behaved yourselves while I was preoccupied.
– Paul De Lancey
Paul De Lancey's Blog 