# I Simplify Where’s Waldo(tm)?

Where’s Bettie?

Where’s Waldo is quite the amusing diversion. It’s loved by millions. But it can take time to find that rascally Waldo, particularly since he loves to hang with folks wearing nearly identical outfits. Clearly he doesn’t want to stand out in a crowd. I think it would be nigh on impossible to pick Waldo out of a police lineup.

As mentioned above, finding Waldo is quite the pleasant way to pass the time. But what if you don’t have the time to pass? What if your fiancée is flying back from a trip to see her family? You’re supposed to leave the house at at nine at night to get her home from the airport.. However, it’s only 8 P.M.. You decide to pass the time playing Waldo. But you can’t find Waldo. You really, really can’t pick him out. He’s in a crowd of Waldo impersonators. Also the characters in the picture are teeny tiny and you can’t distinguish them since you lost your reading glasses.

You’re really not having a good day. However, you’re not a quitter. You persevere. The minutes pass. The hours pass.  At first, she waits eagerly for the love of her life to come rescue her from airport hell. Soon she looks forward to seeing you. Then she grows antsy. A deep and abiding hatred develops. Eventually, a red mist envelops her.

You break all speed limits to get to the airport. At 3 a.m.. You run toward her and throw open your arms to hug her. She drills you between your eyes with a bullet from her Glock(tm). Ironically, you gave her the Glock for her own protection. You, however, cannot appreciate the irony. You’re dead.

But it doesn’t have to be that way.  You should have played “Where’s Bettie?” I show the game in the picture on the right. The game is rated as being solvable in five minutes, but many people claim to have solved the puzzle in less time than that. Play “Where’s Bettie?” and you’ll never miss a can’t-miss appointment again.

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.