Posts Tagged With: soap

Nutmeg Glycerin Soap

Posted on October 28, 2024 by pauldelancey

NUTMEG GLYCERIN SOAP

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INGREDIENTS
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1 tablespoon nutmeg
3 tablespoons isopropyl alcohol
isopropyl alcohol or butter to coat molding
2 pounds glycerin soap base
½ teaspoon nutmeg essential oil
isopropyl alcohol to spray away bubbles forming on soap
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SPECIAL UTENSILS
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soap molding
spray bottle
soap slicer (optional)
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Makes 10½ bars, 1″ wide. Takes 3 hours.
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PREPARATION
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Add nutmeg and 3 tablespoons alcohol to mixing bowl. Mix with fork until well blended.
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Spray silicon mold with isopropyl alcohol or rub with butter.
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Cut glycerin base into 1″ cubes. Add glycerin to large glass measuring cups. Use microwave to melt base in 30 second intervals. Stir after every time. Let sit for 15 minutes or until well blended. (This inhibits nutmeg from settling to the bottom of the soap molding.)  Add nutmeg/isopropyl mix and nutmeg essential oil. Mix with knife until well blended.
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Pour into soap mold. If desired, lightly spray bubbles with isopropyl alcohol to make them disappear. Let sit for 3 hours. Use soap slicer to cut soap into slices 1″ wide.
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TIDBITS
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1) Nutmeg and nitro sound the same.
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2) But they are not. This recipe, nutmeg glycerin, produces a nice scent. You can safely make nutmeg glycerin. You can ever safely shower with it.
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3) Nitroglycerin, however, possess explosive tendencies. Making nitroglycerin in your kitchen will likely blow a hole in a wall. On the plus, the nitro blast passed over because you bent down to pick up a dime. You now have easy access from the kitchen to the dining room. And you’re ten cents richer.
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3) Strange to say, no soap recipe enjoins us not to use nitroglycerin. Let me be the first to do so.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Lavender Buds Goat’s Milk Soap

Posted on September 29, 2024 by pauldelancey

LAVENDER BUDS GOAT’S MILK SOAP

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INGREDIENTS
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1 teaspoon pale blue, lavender, or summer violet mica powder
¼ cup isopropyl alcohol
1 tablespoon butter or alcohol
2 pounds goat milk’s soap base
1 teaspoon lavender essential oil
1 tablespoon lavender buds
butter or alcohol to coat molding
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Makes 10½ bars. 1″ wide. Takes 3½ hours.
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PREPARATION
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Add pale blue mica and ¼ cup alcohol to mixing bowl. Blend.
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Rub silicon mold with alcohol or butter.
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Use spice grinder to grind lavender buds into powder
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Cut goat’s milk base into 1″ cubes. Add goat’s milk to large glass measuring cups. Melt base in 30 second intervals. Stir after every time.
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Pour melted goat’s milk base to soap mold
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Add essential oil. Mix.
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Add lavender powder and mica/alcohol blend. Mix.
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Let sit for 3 hours. Use soap slicer to cut soap into slices 1″ wide.
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TIDBITS
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1) Things you can do with bars of lavender buds goat’s milk :(LBGMS):
Shower
Bathe
Barter for things you want when you don’t have enough money. Note: some things like houses will take quite a lot of soap bars in trade.
Corner the market in LBGMS. Think of all the money you’ll make if LBGMS mania takes over, Think of how clean and fragrant you be if it doesn’t.
Build your dream house with bars of LBGMS. Note: you won’t be able to insure your dream house against rain storms. May I suggest building your LBGMS home in places that get no rain at all? The world has a few such places.
Use your LBGMS bars to create avant-garde art. Become famous overnight.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Vanilla Shampoo

Posted on April 21, 2024 by pauldelancey

VANILLA SHAMPOO

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INGREDIENTS
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½ cup Castile Soap
2 teaspoons coconut oil
½ cup distilled water
12 drops vanilla essential oil
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SPECIAL UTENSIL
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1 cup, or larger, bottle
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PREPARATION
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Add all ingredients to bottle. Stir with fork, or shake, until well blended.
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TIDBITS
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1) “Vanilla Shampoo” is an anagram for “vanilla shampoo.”
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2) Fun fact: All words, or phrases, are anagrams of themselves. Culinary beauticians call these “first-order anagrams.”
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3) Second-order anagrams actually rearrange the letters. As an example, the second-order anagram for “twelve plus one” is “eleven plus two.”
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4) Don’t forget, an anagram for “Aloha salmon VIP” is “Vanilla Shampoo.”
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5) Try these anagrams at parties. Nothing but good can come from liberally sprinkling you conversations with these witticisms. People will admire your intellect and you become the life of the party. Vivacious, beautiful people will want to date you. Corporate executives will fall over themselves trying to hire you. Or . . .
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6) Partygoers will have heard these anagrams before. (I mean, what are the odd? Right?) In this case, the revelers will leave you alone. Take this reaction to grab some tasty hors d’oeuvres as you make your unnoticed exit.
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7) Dart back inside. Fit as many shrimps as you can into your Tupperware(tm) container. (You should always carry one.) As you zip out again, defiantly yell, “Hors d’oeuvre doesn’t need to be italicized as it has become an accepted part of our language.” That’ll teach them for shunning you.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Basil Glycerin Soap

Posted on January 6, 2024 by pauldelancey

BASIL GLYCERIN SOAP

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INGREDIENTS
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6 tablespoons fresh basil
1 teaspoon pale green mica powder
2 tablespoons isopropyl alcohol
2 pounds glycerin soap base
1 teaspoon basil essential oil
isopropyl alcohol
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SPECIAL UTENSILS
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soap mold
spray bottle
soap slicer (optional)
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Makes 10½ bars, 1″ wide. Takes 3 hours.
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PREPARATION
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Add basil to spice grinder. Grind until the basil bits are small as possible.. Add pale green mica and 2 tablespoons isopropyl alcohol to small mixing bowl. Mix with fork until well blended.
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Cut glycerin base into 1″ cubes. Add glycerin base to large glass measuring cups. Melt base in 30 second intervals. Stir after every time. Add green mica powder/isopropyl mix and basil essential oil. Stir with knife until well blended. Let sit for 15 minutes. (This inhibits basil bits from settling to the bottom of the soap mold.) Add basil bits. Mix with knife until well blended.
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Spray silicon mold with isopropyl alcohol. Pour melted soap into soap mold. If desired, lightly spray bubbles with isopropyl alcohol to make them disappear. Let soap sit for 3 hours. Use soap slicer to cut soap into slices 1″ wide.
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TIDBITS
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1) Perhaps the most famous Basil of all time is Basil Rathbone, who is most remembered for his portrayal of Sherlock Holmes.
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2) The next most renowned Basil is Basil II emperor of the Byzantine Empire, 976 – 1025. He proved to be more aggressive than the above actor as evinced by his nickname, “Bulgar Slayer.” Bulgars, or Bulgarians, come from Bulgaria. However, bulgur wheat is a nutrient dense cracked grain that improves blood sugar control, heart health, and digestion.
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3) Basilicas were first designed by the famous architect Basil Ica in Greece in 452 AD.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Buddha’s Hand Glycerin Soap

Posted on January 1, 2024 by pauldelancey

BUDDHA’S HAND CITRON GLYCERIN SOAP

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INGREDIENTS
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¼ pound Buddha’s hand citron*
1 teaspoon yellow mica powder
2 tablespoons isopropyl alcohol
2 pounds glycerin soap base
¾ teaspoon lemon essential oil
isopropyl alcohol
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* = May be found in organic food stores..
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SPECIAL UTENSILS
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soap mold
spray bottle
microwave
soap slicer (optional)
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Makes 10 bars. 1″ wide. Takes 3 hours 30 minutes.
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PREPARATION
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Cut Buddha’s hand citron in food processor into little bits and set aside. Add yellow mica powder and 2 tablespoons isopropyl alcohol to small mixing bowl. Mix with fork until well blended
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Chop glycerin base into 1″ cubes. Add glycerin to large glass measuring cups. Melt base in 30 second intervals. Stir after every time. Add yellow mica powder/ isopropyl mix and lemon essential oil. Stir with knife until well blended. Let sit for 15 minutes. (This inhibits Buddha’s hand citron from settling to the bottom of the soap mold.) Add bits of Buddha’s hand citron. Mix with knife until well blended.
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Spray silicon mold with isopropyl alcohol. Pour melted soap into soap mold. If desired, lightly spray bubbles with isopropyl alcohol to make them disappear. Let soap sit for 3 hours. Use soap slicer to cut soap into slices 1″ wide.
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TIDBITS
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1) Buddha’s Hand Citron resembles the hand of many-fingered people praying to Buddha.
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2) Buddha’s hand fruit is a symbol of happiness, longevity, and good fortune. Indeed, Buddha’s Hand is often given to family and loved ones in Japan as a symbol of good fortune.
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3) Washing with Buddha’s Hand Citron Glycerin Soap helps you smell nice. Plus, with the Buddha citron bits inside it, you also get happiness, longevity, and good fortune. What more could you want?`
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Rosemary Olive Oil Soap

Posted on December 21, 2023 by pauldelancey

ROSEMARY OLIVE OIL SOAP

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INGREDIENTS
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½ teaspoon green mica powder
1 tablespoon isopropyl alcohol
⅓ cup fresh rosemary
2 pounds olive oil soap base
1 teaspoon rosemary essential oil
isopropyl alcohol
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SPECIAL UTENSILS
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spice grinder
soap mold
spray bottle
soap slicer (optional)
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Makes 10½ bars, 1″ wide. Takes 3 hours 15 minutes.
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PREPARATION
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Add rosemary to spice grinder. Grind until the rosemary bits are small as possible. Add green mica powder, and 1 tablespoon isopropyl alcohol to small mixing bowl. Mix with fork until well blended.
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Cut olive oil base into 1″ cubes. Add olive oil base to large glass measuring cups. Melt base in microwave with timer set at 30 seconds. Stir after every time. Add green mica powder/isopropyl mix and rosemary essential oil. Stir with knife until well blended. Let sit for 15 minutes. (This inhibits rosemary bits from settling to the bottom of the soap mold.) Add rosemary bits. Mix with knife until well blended.
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Spray silicon mold with isopropyl alcohol. Pour melted soap into soap mold. If desired, lightly spray bubbles with isopropyl alcohol to make them disappear. Let soap sit for 3 hours. Use soap slicer to cut soap into slices 1″ wide.
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TIDBITS
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1) There have been many great Rosemarys in the world. The top of the list are: Rosemary Clooney – singer, Rosemary Harris – movie actress, and Rosemary Wells – children’s author.
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2) The closest we have to an infamous Rosemary is Rose Mary Woods, President Nixon’s secretary, who testified that she’d accidently erased 18.5 minutes of a critical Watergate tape. Note the space between Rose and Mary in her name, so she really isn’t a full-blooded Rosemary. Basically you can count on any Rosemarys you meet to be a rather good egg. Just look for a space in the name. Even so, the world teems with good Rose Marys. Life can be complicated.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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What I Did the Day Before Tomorrow

Posted on December 20, 2023 by pauldelancey

1) Woke up. Got out of bed. Dragged a comb across my head. Showered, because cleanliness is a virture.

2) So is getting up. It’s important to get up, especially if you run the mile. As of press time, no one, man or woman, has won the mile race without getting of bed. I have no plans to compete in such a race. But it’s nice to know that if chose to do so, I could run my heart out.

3) Dressed casual. I was fit for society.

4) And I went out! For eye therapy. I  dodged people so adeptly that a Hall of Fame running back would be jealous.

5) Went over finances.

6)   Didn’t fight Verizon(tm) and Yahoo(tm). Maybe tomorrow. Of sure, I cussed a bit at them in the comfort of my office, but it was mostly perfunctory.

7)  Oh, not to worry, I came back from eye therapy. I walked both ways. Go me.

9) I made rosemary olive oil soap.

10) It didn’t turn out well. There was much wailing and gnashing of teeth.

11)  Got out my spice grinder and ground the heck of the fresh rosemary. Atomized it, really.

12)  Performed multiple experiments on better ways of making Rosemary Olive Oil soap.

12) Made another batch. I’m praying that it will come out right.

13) Chatted briefly with Iceland and Paraguay. They agreed to postone their border dispute until I had more time to mediate. I expect a quick resolution as the two nations do not share a border.

14) Too tired to cook dinner. One of the natives is going out for chicken. Yay.

 

Behave yourselves.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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Lemon Poppy Seed Goat’s Milk Soap

Posted on November 14, 2023 by pauldelancey

LEMON POPPY SEED GOAT’S MILK SOAP

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INGREDIENTS
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2 pounds goat’s milk soap base
1 teaspoon yellow mica powder
¼ cup isopropyl alcohol
¾ teaspoon lemon essential oil
1 teaspoon poppy seeds (1 teaspoon more later)
1 tablespoon fresh lemon zest (1 more tablespoon later)
1 tablespoon fresh lemon zest
1 teaspoon poppy seeds
isopropyl alcohol
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SPECIAL UTENSILS
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soap mold
spray bottle
microwave
soap slicer (optional)
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Makes 10 bars. 1″ wide. Takes 3 hours 30 minutes.
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PREPARATION
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Cut goat’s milk base into 1″ cubes. Add goat’s milk to large glass measuring cups. Melt base in 30 second intervals. Stir after every time. Add yellow mica and ¼ cup isopropyl alcohol to mixing bowl. Blend. Add yellow mica powder/ isopropyl mix and lemon essential oil. Stir with knife until well blended. Let sit for 6 minutes or until well blended. (This inhibits lemon zest and poppy seeds from settling to the bottom of the soap mold.) Add 1 tablespoon lemon zest and 1 teaspoon poppy seeds. Mix with knife until well blended.
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Rub silicon mold with isopropyl alcohol. Pour melted goat’s milk base to soap mold. Sprinkle goat’s milk base with 1 tablespoon lemon zest and 1 teaspoon poppy seeds. If desired, lightly spray bubbles with isopropyl alcohol to make them disappear.
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Let sit for 3 hours. Use soap slicer to cut soap into slices 1″ wide.
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TIDBITS
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1) Poppy is a girl’s first name.
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2) Many people have Lemon be their last nane.
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3) So, Ms. Poppy Lemon this soap is dedicated to you.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Coffee Vanilla Shea Butter Soap

Posted on November 9, 2023 by pauldelancey

COFFEE VANILLA SHEA BUTTER SOAP

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INGREDIENTS
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2 pounds shea butter base
1 tablespoon isopropyl alcohol
¾ teaspoon coffee essential oil
½ teaspoon vanilla essential oil
½ cup used coffee grounds
isopropyl alcohol or butter to coat molding
and to spray away bubbles forming on soap
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SPECIAL UTENSILS
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soap mold
spray bottle
microwave
soap slicer (optional)
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Makes 10½ bars. 1″ wide. Takes 3 hours 30 minutes..
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PREPARATION
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Cut shea butter base into 1″ cubes. Add shea butter base to large glass measuring cups. Melt base in microwave with timer set at 30 seconds. Stir after every time. Add 1 tablespoon isopropyl alcohol, coffee essential oil and vanilla essential oil. Stir with knife until well blended. Let sit for 6 minutes or until well blended.. (This inhibits coffee grounds from settling to the bottom of the soap mold.) Add coffee grounds. Mix with knife until well blended.
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Rub silicon mold with isopropyl alcohol or butter. Pour into soap mold. If desired, lightly spray bubbles with isopropyl alcohol to make them disappear. Let soap sit for 3 hours. Use soap slicer to cut soap into slices 1″ wide.
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TIDBITS
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1) Estimates of how many cups of coffee are safe each day for an adult human vary with weight. For our purposes we assume 3 cups of coffee per day is the upper limit of safety for the average Botswanan adult, who weighs in at 140 pounds. Using average weights for various animals we can determine their limits for their daily safe coffee consumption. And here they are:
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Botswanan 3 cups
Butterfly 1/700 teaspoon
Cats 3.4 tablespoons
Corgi 7 tablespoons
Goat 1.9 cups
Grizzly bear10.7 cups*
Orca 236 cups*
Rhinoceros 51.5 cups*
Tiger 5 cups*
Wren 1/50 teaspoon
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* = People are especially cautioned not to give wild man-eating animals more than their safe limit.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: observations, soap | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Bergamot Lavender Charcoal Soap

Posted on November 6, 2023 by pauldelancey

BERGAMOT LAVENDER CHARCOAL SOAP

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INGREDIENTS
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2 pounds charcoal soap base
½ teaspoon bergamot essential oil
½ teaspoon lavender essential oil
isopropyl alcohol or butter to coat molding
isopropyl alcohol to spray away bubbles forming on soap
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SPECIAL UTENSILS
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soap mold
spray bottle
soap slicer (optional)
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Makes 10½ bars, 1″ wide. Takes 3 hours 30 minutes.
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SPECIAL UTENSILS
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PREPARATION
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Spray silicon mold with isopropyl alcohol or rub with butter.
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Cut charcoal base into 1″ cubes. Add charcoal cubes to large glass measuring cups. Melt base in 30 second intervals. Stir after every time. Add bergamot and lavender essential oils.
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Pour  into soap mold. If desired, lightly spray bubbles with isopropyl alcohol to make them disappear.  Let soap sit for 3 hours. Use soap slicer to cut soap into slices 1″ wide.
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TIDBITS
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1) The following claims for charcoal that come up repeatedly are that it detoxifies, exfoliates, and calms. That’s pretty good as charcoal soap even cleans youl.
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2) Culinary soapologists also say that charcoal soap gives you the following superpowers:
You will never need more than 30 seconds to find your car keys and glasses.
Vampires will never attack you. If you add garlic to your charcoal soap, neither will werewolves.
DMV lines will be half the length they are for other soap users
Your memory will improve to the point that you will always find the TV remote.
Orphan socks will become a thing of the past.
Chickens will no longer run away from you.
All people named Bert or Sarah will always say, “Hi.”
So will elephants. Be prepared to run.
Staff from both political parties will ask you to run for office for them.
People will be much more attracted to you. If that becomes a problem, rub yourself with garlic.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: soap | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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