Posts Tagged With: Equator

Kung Pao Chicken

Chinese Entree

KUNG PAO CHICKEN

INGREDIENTS

MARINADE

2 chicken breasts
2 cloves garlic
1 stalk green onion
1 tablespoon soy sauce (2 more tablespoons later)
1½ tablespoons cornstarch (1 teaspoon more later)
½ teaspoon ginger
¼ teaspoon Poultry MagicTM spice (¼ teaspoon more later)
2 teaspoons rice wine
1½ tablespoons water

SAUCE

1 teaspoon cornstarch
1 tablespoon malt vinegar
¼ teaspoon Poultry MagicTM spice
¼ teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons soy sauce
1 tablespoon sugar
1 teaspoon sesame oil

4 red chiles
½ cup unsalted roasted peanuts
1½ tablespoons vegetable oil
2 teaspoons vegetable oil

SPECIAL UTENSIL

wok or skillet

Serves 4. Takes 50 minutes.

PREPARATION OF MARINADE

Cut chicken into 1-inch cubes. Mince garlic. Dice green onion. Mix 1½ tablespoons cornstarch, garlic, green onion, ginger, ¼ teaspoon poultry spice, rice wine, 1 tablespoon soy sauce, and water. Cover all sides of the chicken cubes with this mixture. Set aside for at least 30 minutes.

PREPARATION OF SAUCE

Combine 1 teaspoon cornstarch, malt vinegar, ¼ teaspoon poultry spice, salt, 2 tablespoons soy sauce, sugar, and sesame oil in 2nd mixing bowl. Set aside.

FINAL PREPARATION

Cut red chiles in half, remove seed, and mince (I cannot say strongly enough, WEAR GLOVES OR WASH YOUR HANDS THOROUGHLY WITH SOAP after touching the chiles and their seeds. They make your skin burn. My gosh, they cause pain. Don’t rub a throbbing temple or wipe sweat from your upper lip immediately after touching red chiles and their seeds. Your face will be on fire. And guy chefs, this is a really bad time to scratch your balls.)

Put unsalted peanuts and 1½ tablespoons vegetable oil in wok. Sauté at 350 degrees until peanuts start turning golden brown. Stir frequently. (The golden brown phase is astonishingly short. The following dark brown/black state is forever.)

Add the coated chicken cubes. Sauté at 350 degrees. Fry for 2 minutes or until chicken is done or no longer pink inside. Stir and turn cubes frequently.

Add red chiles and 2 tablespoons vegetable oil. Sauté at 350 degrees and stir until the peppers turn dark. Add soy/malt vinegar/sugar/sesame oil sauce. Cook until sauce thickens. Stir frequently.

Thank the person who washes and cleans after this meal. If you are both the cook and cleaner, sit down, have a cold root beer, and admire the halo above your head.

TIDBITS

1) If all strange dishes taste like chicken, why not have chicken?

2) Kung Pao chickens are much milder than their more peppery cousins, Kung Fu Chickens.

3) Peppers that look similar to each other can vary greatly in spiciness. So, keep that in mind when you and a bunch of friends from Madison, Wisconsin travel to St. Louis, Missouri to see two classmates get married and you all stop in a restaurant that serves free peppers.

4) Throat germs don’t like peppers either. Hah, take that!

5) Some people think that cuisine near the Equator is filled with peppery dishes because food didn’t keep well there before refrigeration. I think people in Cuba eat more peppers than the Swedes because peppers are grown in Cuba and not in Sweden.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Cajun Goober Peas

Cajun Entree

CAJUN GOOBER PEAS

INGREDIENTSCajunGoober-

1 pound raw, unsalted peanuts in shells (or roasted, unsalted)
1 1/2 quarts water (and more later)
1/4 cup Cajun seasoning
2 teaspoons cayenne
2 teaspoons coriander
2 teaspoons cumin
2 teaspoons thyme
4 teaspoons paprika

PREPARATION

Wash peanuts until water runs clear. Put peanuts (do not shell them) in large pot. Add water and salt. (Peanuts should be completely cover with water.) Add Cajun seasoning, cayenne, coriander, cumin, thyme and paprika. Soak for 30 minutes

Boil pot to boil. Reduce heat to low-medium. Simmer for 3-to-8 hours (Yes, that is a wide time range. New peanuts will cook in a much shorter time than peanuts that have been on the shelf for a long time.)

Check water level after 30 minutes. Add water if needed. Water should always cover peanuts. Start tasting peanuts after 3 hours. Add water if needed. Peanuts are done when they are firm yet tender or reach your desired texture.

TIDBITS

1) It takes about 54 peanuts to make a 1.2-ounce jar of peanut butter.

2) The protein and B vitamins in peanuts help you think.

2) The protein and B vitamins in peanuts help you think.

3 Oh dear, I need a peanut to jump start my brain. *Munch, munch, munch.*

4) You could place 18-ounce peanut-butter jars, if you could find that many, around the Earth’s Equator and still be able to go around 1/3 more time.

5 Or you could place 13.5 ounce jars around the Equator and just make one circuit.

6 But why would you want to do this?

7 Do you have the money to buy that much peanut butter?

8 Can you arrange for the necessary transport?

9) Much of the Equator is on the ocean. Would the jars of peanut butter just float away? Wouldn’t they be a hazard to navigation?

10) Wouldn’t hurricanes or tornadoes be able to fling peanut butters jars vast distances? I mean if a powerful windstorm can pick up a cow… and what happens when the jars come down. “Tonight, we have a peanut-butter storm watch over Dane County. Residents are advised to stay inside. No word yet if we can expect chunky or cream precipitation.”

11) And what of the jars along the Equator that lie peacefully along the ground. How long do you think it will be before people take the jars and eat the peanut butter?

12) Ooh, ooh! Nobel Peace Prize idea here. Countries that fight each other a lot should build a wall made of jars of peanut butter. After a while hungry people from both nations will start taking jars down and eating the tasty peanut butter. Peanut-butter pleased people perform plenty pleasant acts of kindness happiness. Kindness engenders happiness. People want more happiness. They take down more jar of peanut butter. They get happier. The wall diving the two countries eventually disappears. Everybody sees nothing but kind and happy people in the other country. Peace breaks out.

13) Peace breaks out even faster with peanut and jelly on toast.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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