things that make me happy

How Big Are My Body Parts in Terms of Large Slurpee(tm) Cups?

Posted on July 5, 2024 by pauldelancey

It is, of course, fascinating to wonder about the size of our internal organs. This was nearly the only thing our ancestors talked about before the advent of the internet, computers, electricity, and other newfangled inventions. Nowadays, we’ve diverted some of our attention to photos of puppies, kitten, and where to find the best Taco-Tuesday deals.

But we still care the size of our organs. As who would not?

It transpires that the average size of a human brain is 1350 cubic centimers. How big is that? And what is a cubic centimer?

Clearly the size of anything in cubic centimeters eludes us? We need a image of something we all readily know.

The large Slurpee cup. The volume of this well-known beverage is 651 cubic centimeters. Now we’re cooking with gas. Using this vital information, we can calculate the size of all sorts of innards into something we can all understand. And here we go.

HUMAN BODY PART SIZE CHART

organ…………………………….volume in large Slurpee cups

It’s as big as 2.074 large Slurpee cups

air……………………….9.22 (Not an organ, but it’s inside our body so I’m listing it.)
body, male………….92.17
brain………………….2.074
chimpanzee brain….0.59 (Chimpanzees are not humans. So, we do not possess chimpanzee brains. But it’s an enchanting fact.)
fat………………………18.43 (We’ve been drinking a lot of Slurpees.)
hair……………………..0.02
heart……………………0.46
homo erectus brain..1.23 (Home erectus is an ancestor for many of us and us it’s nice to know the size of forebearer Ogg’s brain.)
intestinal tract………2.76
kidneys…………………0.41
liver……………………..2.26
lungs……………………..1.19
muscle………………..35.33
pancreas……………….0.15 (This small organ does something.)
poop…………………….3.07 (What your “full of,” is this amount.)
skeleton………………10.56
skin………………………2.76
urinary bladder……..0.21 (Where does all that Slurpee go, if not there?)
urine…………………….0.77 (That’s bigger than our bladder! What the heck?)

Now you know. If your local eater bar or restaurant holds quiz show features the topic body-part sizes, you’ll win for sure.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: observations, science, things that make me happy | Tags: body parts, brain, chimpanzees, cubic centimeters, fat, home erectus, kidneys, liver, lungs, pancreas, poop, quiz shows, skin, Slurpee, urine | 1 Comment

Serbian Pljeskavica

Posted on April 15, 2024 by pauldelancey

Serbian Entree

SERBIAN PLJESKAVICA

(Serbian Burger)

INGREDIENTS

1 garlic clove

1 large onion (1 small one later)

2 tablespoons olive oil or vegetable oil

1 pound ground beef

¾ pound ground pork

1 teaspoon Spanish paprika or paprika

no-stick spray

8 pita loaves*

some kajmak** (optional)

some ajvar*** (optional)

1 green onion

1 small onion

your favorite condiments.****

* = Lepinje buns are more authentic, but also very hard to find.

** = Can be found online. Substitutes are crème fraîche, crema Mexicana, sour cream, or clotted cream

*** = Can be found online. Substitutes are baba ganoush, chili oil, or relish made with bell peppers and eggplant

**** = Kajmak, ajvar, onion are the most authentic condiments for a Serbian. However, red onions, cabbage, pickles, cucumbers, and lettuce are used sometimes.

Serves 4. Takes 1 hour 20 minutes.

PREPARATION

Mince garlic clove and 1 large onion. Add garlic, onion and olive oil to pan. Sauté at medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onion softens. Add minced garlic and onion, ground beef, ground pork, and Spanish paprika to mixing bowl. Mix with hands until well blended. Divide meat into 4 portions. Flatten meat portions until they are 6″ wide patties. Cover and let cool in refrigerator for 45 minutes.

Spray pan with no-stick pray. Add patty to pan. Fry each patty at medium heat for 4 minutes. Flip patty and cook on low-medium for 4 minutes. Repeat for each patty . Put patty on pita loaf. Spread kajmak and ajvar as desired on patty. Thinly slice green onion and small onion. Place ¼ of the onion slices on kajmak and ajvar. Sprinkle with ¼ of the green onion. Top with 2nd pita loaf. Repeat 3 more times.

TIDBITS

1) Pljeskavica is pronounced just like it looks.

2) Just like hot dog is pronounced, “hot dog.”

3) Of course, pljeskavica is an anagram for “java pickles.”

4) If you haven’t heard of java pickles, it’s because they’re not wildly popular.

5) Or even popular at all.

6) To make java pickles, add coffee grounds to the coffee filter.

7) Then instead of water, pour pickle brine into the coffee maker’s reservoir.

8) Turn on your coffee maker and wait.

9) Take your java pickles to your next potluck.

10) You won’t be asked to bring anything ever again.

11) The moral of all this, is that there are some anagrams people aren’t meant to create.

12) Better to search for lepinje buns. This quest would keep you off the streets where you’d only foment revolution.

13) And why can’t we have lepinje delivered to our home?

14) Of course, you could try the superbly efficient AmazonTM to send some to your home.

15) What’s this? Amazon has no lepinje!

16) Why can’t we have a lepinje truck cruising the neighborhood everyday? The truck would play pleasant Serbian folk tunes, so we’d know the lepinje man was on his way.

17) And while we’re at it, why not have the truck carry bread, carry bread from all over the world?

18) And herbs from all over the world? One herb can only be found in desolate areas of northwestern China and rarely at that. And let me tell you, the Chinese police and military frown on such unsupervised activities. “But Colonel, I was only looking for a rare herb,” you’d say. The official’s reply would surely be, “Like, I’ve never heard that one before.” And you’d go to a Chinese prison.

19) Since incarceration is bad, we’ll have to hold out for a local bread and herb truck.

20) And add spices and produce. I can’t tell you how many times I didn’t have the right bread, herb, spice, or produce. “You may say that I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one,” John Lennon. Let’s make that truck so. Let’s turn our street into a culinary garden of Eden.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

Categories: cuisine, international, things that make me happy | Tags: ajvar, burger, China, entree, folk tunes, ground beef, ground pork, kajmak, lepinje, milk truck, olive oil, pita loaves, pljesjavica, revolution, Serbian | Leave a comment

Merry Christmas

Posted on December 25, 2021 by pauldelancey

Merry Christmas, happy holidays, and happy new year from me and the critters of Paul’s Flying Squirrel Squadron.

Oh, NORAD Tracks Santa said the jolly Saint Nick delivered 7,623,693,263 gifts last night. Well done, sir.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

Categories: things that make me happy | Tags: apocalyptic, Chef Paul, Christmas, Comic Chef, flying, Flying squirrel squadron, good food, Lutheran, New Year, Paul De Lancey, recipes, squadron, squirrel, thriller | 2 Comments