364 days a year NORAD protects America from nuclear and other threats coming over the North Pole. But on Christmas Eve, this worthy arm of America’s armed forces tracks Santa’s gift-giving trip. Give NORAD’s website, http://www.noradsanta.org a look on December 24. Be sure to watch the videos showing sightings of Santa by F-14s and other jets.
December 21, 2012 has come and gone in the Eastern Hemisphere. No Mayan Apocalypse for them. Hurray! However, we in the Hemisphere could still die at any time today from a rogue planet slamming into the Earth.
Bummer.
While I entertain doubts on the Eastern Hemisphere surviving unscathed a rogue planet slamming into the Western Hemisphere, let us assume the Mayans were right. After all, their calendar looks quite similar to an Oreo and we all know how wonderful Oreos are. Also, the Mayans correctly predicted the demise of the Twinkie. Enough said on that. Let’s see if we can all find reasons to be happy about the demise of the Western Hemisphere:
1) You won’t have to do anymore laundry.
2) You won’t have to pick up your kid from school. Fighting your way through crazed moms picking up their little Timmys and Janes can be hell.
3) You won’t have to assemble all your receipts for the IRS.
4) You won’t have to pay the IRS anything.
5) No more phone calls from telemarketers.
6) No worries about zombie apocalypse. The rogue planet will obliterate all zombies, if any.
7) You won’t have to do laundry.
8) Your credit card’s billing cycle ends after the apocalypse. Buy, buy, buy!
9) No more spam from Nigerians offering to give you millions.
10) No more full-body scams at the airport from friends at the TSA.
11) No more rush-hour traffic.
12) No more laundry.
13) No worries about nuclear Armageddon.
14) No more sequels to Fifty Shades of Gray.
15) No more lutefisk.
16) No more visits to the dentist.
17) No more ads for Depends.
18) No more long checkout-lines at the supermarket.
19) No more freezing of your computer.
20) No more political campaigns.
See, you’re smiling again. Happy End of the Western Hemisphere To You Day.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Peruvian Entree
PAPAS A LA HUANCAINA
(Potatoes with Peruvian cheese sauce)
INGREDIENTS
1/2 cup red onion
1 garlic clove
4 eggs
1 tablespoon peanut oil
2 tablespoons butter
2 tablespoon aji amarillo pepper
4 saltine crackers
1/3 cup Monterrey Jack cheese
2/3 cup Cotija cheese
1/2 cup sour cream
1/2 cup milk
1 tablespoon lime juice
3 tablespoons vegetable oil
1/4 teaspoon sugar
1/2 tablespoon turmeric
1/4 teaspoon sea salt
6 yellow or white potatoes
2 tablespoons parsley flakes
6 lettuce leaves
3 eggs
PREPARATION
Boil 6 potatoes for 35 to 40 minutes. Remove potatoes with tongs and let cool in cold water. (Remember there’s a reason for the saying, “Drop you like a hot potato.”) Peel all potatoes and cut in half lengthwise.
While potatoes are boiling, dice red onion. Mince garlic clove. Boil 4 eggs for 12 minutes. Peel eggs. Make amarillo paste by melting butter in frying pan, adding peanut oil, and amarillo pepper. Stir constantly until butter melts completely.
Put onion, garlic cloves, 4 eggs (leave 3 eggs for the final step.), amarillo paste, crackers, Monterrey Jack cheese, Cotija cheese, sour cream, milk, lime juice, vegetable oil, sugar, turmeric, and sea salt into blender. Puree all these ingredients until you get a creamy mixture.
Peel the remaining 3 hard-boiled eggs. Slice each egg into 4 pieces. Place a lettuce leaf on each of 6 plates. Top each leaf with 2 potato halves. Place an egg slice on top of each potato half. Pour the creamy mixture all over each potato half.
Serve and enjoy to people and telemarketers everywhere.
TIDBITS
1) Peru rocks the culinary world with over 300 varieties of potatoes.
2) Belgium has over 300 types of beer.
3) Coincidence? Perhaps.
4) Peru makes all sorts of tasty potato dishes to enjoy. Antarctica makes none. No nuclear missiles target either land mass.
5) Russia specializes in making vodka with potatoes. There are hundreds and hundreds of nuclear missiles pointed at Russia.
6) The connection between the threat of nuclear annihilation and potato cuisine is still unclear.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Paul De Lancey's Blog 